The human Kribliss
by Swing-21
Summary: Now Complete! ‘This hatred belongs to Zim and no one else,’ muttered the alien with contained fury. ZADR
1. A matter of height

** The Human Kribliss **

Rating : PG-13 for the moment. May go up.

Warnings : Slash, Xenophilia, Swearing, Original characters

Author note: I know the resume doesn't say a lot, so hang on to your antennas, this is no mere one-shot. This WILL be slash, but I'm not one to rush things up to please the readers. I want this to be realistic. I know ZADR by definition will never be in character, but that doesn't mean I can't try. There will be original characters, but they are useful to the plot. Some of this will probably ring a bell (every other ZADR fic, yeah) but there are things that need to get out of the way before getting anything done.

Please note that English is not my first language. I do have a beta reader –the schmexy and wonderful Miyukyo- but if we missed some things, don't be shy and send me a note.

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all his characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. The Squeaky crew is mine, but I doubt anyone would want them. You can keep Kinn.

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**Chapter one- A matter of height

* * *

**

** "They're your leaders just because they're taller than anybody else?" -Dib**

* * *

The Massive's dock was full of Irkens running left and right, monitoring, piloting, cleaning, and generally obeying every single order from their almighty Tallests. The two beloved towers of pure terror and power were currently lounging on one of the most comfortable couches of the universe, courtesy of Invader Larb, and eating their way into a bag full of donuts (the sugar coated ones, of course). They were in a good mood and had been for a couple of days in fact, judging by the small number of service drones sent to planet Dirt for lousy servicing. Not counting the one who accidentally spilled irken cola on Tallest Red's robes. They were his favorites ones, after all. Spilling anything on a Tallest was a crime punishable by death, by Irken laws.

'…and then, his face!' snickered Purple once again. 'You should have seen his face!'

'I saw it,' corrected Red with raised antennae. 'I was there too.'

'I know that, but oh Irk, was it priceless! You could almost HEAR his broken squeedly-spooch falling to the floor!'

'Heh, good thing we had this recorded then,' grinned Red. 'It's always soothing to see Zim's broken hopes whenever I feel down.'

'Let's watch it again!' shouted Purple. 'Soldier, put it on the giant screen!'

Red lowered his antennae with a little sigh. They had seen the tape over a hundred times, but Purple never got tired of it. Well, neither did he, in fact. He smiled as Zim's face appeared on the screen but frowned when he saw how tall he had gotten. His increase of height, subtle over the years, was the only thing that kept Red from fully enjoying the show.

He turned to Purple, who was busy reciting every word and mimicking Zim's voice with a high pitched tone that had nothing to do with the wannabe invader's but was funny nonetheless. The first twenty times.

_"…But, my Tallests, Zim was always a loyal member of the irken army…"_

'Say, Pur,' interrupted Red going back to the screen. 'Don't you think Zim's getting a little too… tall?'

'Yeah…' trailed off Purple. 'I knew something had changed, but I thought it was that lousy planet's sun giving him an ugly complexion. That shade of green is just unhealthy.'

_"…forget it, Zim. You're not coming back. Ever."_

'Somebody get me his full measurements!' shouted Red in a worried voice.

'You really think that…?' started Purple.

'We can never be too sure,' growled Red.

_"…Impeding Doom II wouldn't have been successful if you hadn't been exiled to that planet, far from any catastrophes you could have created here!"_

A random irken drone stepped up to them with a screen depicting all of Zim's details. His picture could be seen, next to a series of numbers and irken letters.

'That's no good,' complained Purple 'this was taken before he got sent there! We need something more recent!'

Red started scrolling down, opening and closing a few windows until he found what he was looking for.

'Here!' he said. 'Last order of an Irken uniform at Callnowa, a couple of months ago. Height measurement, a hundred and thirty six Ligas tall…'

A deadly silence followed. All that could be heard on the bridge was Zim's voice, pleading to get another chance.

_"…I'll invade this filthy planet in no time! You'll see, my Tallests! My latest plan is totally fail proof and even better, Dib-proof! Nothing can go wrong, you'll see! I…"_

'And this was my favorite part,' whined Purple, but he couldn't find any amusement in Zim's desperate pleas.

Inside, Red was growling. Their own height was of a hundred and fifty four irken Ligas. If Zim didn't stop growing up, he could become a threat to their leadership, incompetent or not. Irken politics were not based on intelligence, after all. Not a single politic system in the universe was based on that. It would be against nature's order and impossible to achieve.

_"…it's no use, Zim. We don't care about that ball of dirt. Too much water, it makes it impossible to even transform it into a parking lot. Forget it."_

"_But, my Tallest…"_

'My Tallests?' asked a crewmember with a slight hesitation.

'It better be important!' snapped Red.

'It's an incoming transmission from the Squeaky, sirs.'

'Work, work, work,' sighed Purple. 'Put it on the screen.'

A saluting red-eyed female Irken replaced Zim's defeated face.

'My Tallests,' she greeted with a slight bow of her antennae. 'Captain Taty reporting from the Squeaky.'

'Oh, did you guys explode?' asked Purple with eagerness.

'…not yet, my Tallest,' answered the Captain with a slight hesitation. 'Shall that ever happen, you'll be the first one to know.'

'Report then,' ordered Red with a vague wave of his hand.

He didn't pay much attention to the boring report of the explorer ship. It was the same thing over and over: new planet, with or without alien life forms, if yes were they better a) as slaves, b) as allies or c) as corpses? He let Purple take care of it while he concentrated on a way to get rid of Zim. A hundred and thirty six Ligas was a real menace, but he couldn't do anything directly. The Control Brains severely judged any Tallest-killing competition. But there were ways around that… And it wouldn't be the first time they used them.

'So, how tall is he, now?' was asking Purple.

Red thought he was asking about Zim, but the question was directed to the screen.

'…Diplomat Blo is a hundred and forty-two Ligas, my Lord' answered Taty with a touch of uneasiness.

'Not good' muttered Purple. 'Make sure he goes down with the exploring crew when you'll land on a new planet. And choose a dangerous one.'

'…Yes, my Tallest.'

Red smirked. One of their favorite ways of disposing threats was to embark them on ships with highly dangerous missions. It generally worked and they hadn't got any trouble from the Control Brains. But the diplomat on the Squeaky had yet to meet his doom, or at least get his legs severed off. Well, one could only wait and cross their antennae.

'Where are you guys going, now?' asked Purple.

'We are near the end of the Western spiral arm of this galaxy, and my scientist reported a cluster of planets around a medium-sized star that sounds promising.'

The image of a stellar system replaced her serious face. Planets marked 1, 5, 6, 7,8 and 9 were crossed.

'These planets were rejected for being made of either gas or ice, and of course the first and last ones were too close or too distant to the star. We'll check the three remaining ones,' said Taty, her face back on the screen.

'Does any of these planets have life on them?' asked Red, getting impatient.

'The third one. We don't know if it's intelligent yet.'

'Go there, then. And if it's dangerous, make sure to take the diplomat with you.'

'…Yes, my Tallest. We should reach planet …' she squinted at a screen next to her, hesitated. 'Planet _E_-art. Is that how you pronounce it?' she muttered to someone off screen.

'E-art?' asked Purple. 'Cute name.'

'I thought so too, my Tallest. We should reach it within a week or so. We'll report from there.'

'I want to know if it's full of deadly biting carnivorous giant petunias!' shouted Purple.

'Captain Taty, signing off.'

The screen went back to show Zim's broken expression, but it didn't make Red smile like he usually did.

'E-art?' he said out loud. 'Where was that again?'

An image of the planet appeared on the screen, coordinates next to it. Brownish continents and an awful lot of water.

'Idiots' muttered Red. 'It's not E-art, it's Earth! Zim's planet!'

'How come?' asked Purple. 'They're supposed to look for planets not present on the database. The ones assigned to Invaders were all included!'

'But Zim was never an Invader and NO ONE GOT AROUND TO ADD EARTH TO THE DATABASE IN ALL THESE YEARS!' yelled a furious Red.

The crew recoiled in terror and several members started to add Earth's coordinates at the same time.

'With a little luck they'll land in one of those puddles,' said Purple, pointing to the Pacific Ocean, 'and burn. And then, no more atrociously tall diplomat to be afraid of!'

Red frowned. Luck was never on their side when Zim was included in the equation. The stupid ex-wannabe Invader could find a way to bring destruction to anything.

A malicious grin split his face. He suddenly had a brilliant idea.

'Say, Pur?' he muttered. 'How about getting rid of two annoyances with the same laser and send our friend Zim a… gift?'

Purple had no idea what was on Red's mind, but seeing the devious smile on his co-ruler's face he knew he would love it.

* * *

Dib was out of the Hi Skool building before the bell stopped ringing. He didn't wait for Gaz as he usually did, but his sister would be glad seeing less of him. His pace was quick, almost impatient, and his backpack was heavy with books he didn't bother putting away in his locker. He'd waited all day and even now, was finding the walk too long for his liking. He started to jog, then broke into a full run, his scythe-lock and trench coat floating behind him. 

Dib hadn't changed much in the last six years. He got ridiculously tall and gangly, as only human teenage boys could get. He still wore his dorky glasses, his weird hairdo and his trench coat. Well, it wasn't exactly the same, but it was of the same model, only with more buckles and inside pockets to better carry his ninja gear whenever he went on a mission. Which could happen from five to six times a week.

Except this week. And that's why he was running full speed towards a neon green house.

Zim hadn't come to school in the last three days.

The first one went unnoticed, almost, because Zim missed school once in a while to repair his messes, receive a call from his leaders or just to stop GIR from doing stupid and dangerous stuff. The second day aroused Dib's suspicion. In two days, you had time to plan and plot something of relative importance. He went to spy at night but saw nothing from the windows, except GIR sitting on the couch, captivated by some stupid television add for vacuums. But now, it was a full three days and not a sight of the Invader. Dib couldn't wait anymore; his paranoia was eating him and kept him from sleep for the past two nights, quite visible by the shadows under his eyes. But he was all right, the sheer amount of coffee in his veins kept him awake, thanks to Membrane's Caffeine Patch Espresso version™.

Three days was the implicit agreement.

If either of them failed to appear for a whole three days, the other has full rights to walk to the front door and demand answers. Of course, they never agreed to it, they never even spoke of it, but this unstated rule appeared early during their ongoing war. Worry had nothing to do with it, it was more the paranoia of seeing the other one doomed by anybody else outside their rivalry. Not any trials, fry-cooks, crazy houses for boys or summer camp would interfere with _their_ fight.

That's why Thursday evening found Dib walking up to Zim's door, not even noticing the gnomes glowing eyes on him. He was trembling with paranoia, impatience and artificial caffeinated energy. He started pounding on the door.

'ZIM! I know you're there! Come out and face me, alien scum!'

After a full five minutes of pounding and name calling, the door slowly opened. But instead of Zim, it was GIR in his dog costume, looking at him with huge demented eyes.

'HIIIIIII BIIG-HEAD BOY!!' he screeched.

'Where's Zim?' demanded Dib, so impatient that he let the comment on his head slide.

'I think he's riding a pony over a rainbow!' exclaimed GIR with enthusiasm.

'…You haven't seen him either, haven't you?' asked Dib.

'Noooooooooooooo,' moaned GIR. 'Mastah said "GIR! I have to phone the tall ones, go watch the Scary Monkey Show!" So I diiiiiiiid. It was fun!"

Dib frowned. Zim called his leaders? That was never good news.

'When was that?'

'Huh… I don't knoooooooow…'

'Okay then,' sighed Dib, 'how many Scary Monkey Shows did you watch since he disappeared?'

'SIX!' screamed GIR with delight.

Dib knew that it showed twice a day, it was easy math. But if GIR had watched them all, it meant that Zim didn't have any use for the robot lately. That was strange; he brought the little defect on almost all of his missions. He even religiously walked his "dog" everyday to appear normal to the neighbors. Even if said neighbors were used to horrific yelling, epic proportioned battles, laser-shooting gnomes, girl scouts falling down deadly holes and spaceships crashing on his front lawn.

'Is he still down there?' asked Dib.

'Maaaaaaaaaybe,' said GIR.

'Look, can I enter? I'll go check myself.' Said Dib with an impatient tone.

He realized it was a bad idea when he saw GIR's eyes turn red.

'No intruder shall disturb the master' he said in a cold, robotic voice.

'But, but… I just wanted to… bring him his homework!' he lied, hoping GIR would return to his normal, dysfunctional self soon.

Too late. A gnome fired a warning shot, centimeters from his head. He knew the next one would aim directly at him. Nothing vital, but he knew Zim never had a full grasp of human's vital organs. He ran-stepped-jumped in a well-practiced ballet that always ended with him landing face first on the sidewalk. The gnomes stood in line, eyes still red, watching him.

* * *

Deep down in the labs, another pair of bloody magenta eyes was watching Dib, through the surveillance cameras. Hunched on his chair, bony knees held against his chest with tired arms, lowered antennas and empty expression, Zim saw the human get up, dust himself and turn back towards the house. 

'You won't get away with this, Zim!' he yelled.

'Foolish human,' muttered the alien. 'There is nothing to get away with.'

By Irk, was it three days already? The human was nothing but punctual in his paranoia. It was the only way Zim had of calculating time since his self appointed isolation. Without any news from the outside, any word from his computer, any window or any need to sleep, he stopped counting the minutes a long time ago. He remembered yelling a lot. Trashing his laboratory with his spider legs, then with his bare claws. He lowered his eyes and saw the gloveless hands covered in pale green scars. They were almost healed already. He remembered moaning and complaining a lot, but he'd rather forget about this pathetic phase. He remembered hours in front of the screen, trying to communicate with the Massive, hoping everything was a joke, a misunderstanding. He remembered his pak sending him into recuperation mode after he tried to hurt himself. The rest was blurry.

And then he remembered sitting in front of the screen for hours, waiting for something he never knew he wanted to see, until it came. The scythe-lock, poor imitation of irken antennas, and the despicable trench coat, and then the ugly face behind uglier glasses… It brought a wave of relief over the alien's tense body. Normality was always welcome, even in the form of his enemy.

The human was in his right to demand information, that's why he let GIR answer in his usual evasive style. But when the Dib asked to come down, he had to activate the gnomes. Being seen in this sorry state, by his rival no less, was not an option.

Dib was warily watching the gnomes. He put a foot on the front walk again, but almost lost it to a rapid laser show. Part of his boot started smoking. Zim couldn't help but chuckle at his loud yell of pain.

He stared at the retreating human, surprised at his own amusement. It was the first time, since that horrible call, that he managed to feel anything but pure dookie inside his squeedly-spooch. Amusement at the Dib. Normalcy, the only thing he had left.

Irk be damned, he wouldn't let anyone, not even the Tallest, take this scrap of normalcy away from him. Tomorrow, he'd go back to Hi Skool.

* * *

AN: That's it for now. I know the Tallest-abandonning-Zim has been overly done, but I think it's the only thing harsh enough to make Zim not invade Earth. And that's the only way I see him being civil to Dib, wich leads us to... better things winkwinknudgenudge 


	2. Possessive much?

AN: See Chapter 1 for disclaimer and full author notes.**  
**

**Chapter two- Possessive much?**

* * *

**"Dib: You're just jealous.**

**Zim: This has nothing to do with jelly!"**

* * *

Night came and went, and Friday morning found Dib fully awake, watching many screens displaying numerous lists of data and even more camera footage. He was typing and clicking frantically, his fingers getting in the way more often than he'd like to, but that was one of the side effects of the Membrane's Caffeine Patch™. He had to get a new one, because sleep had eluded him once again till the wee hours of the morning. 

Zim's disappearance made him nervous. Who knew what the crazy alien could be preparing right now? A new doomsday device? Another creative yet fated to fail way to enslave the human race? Another time-machine? Or had he got abducted by other aliens again? Or worse, been found by a revenge seeking old enemy? How many people did Zim manage to piss off during his life, anyway?

Dib groaned and hid his head in his arms. He was worrying too much, thinking too much. Zim would be alright; he had this little talent of staying alive no matter how dire the circumstances, by a mix of perseverance, luck and way too much self-esteem. Dib knew he himself had the first one, but with a lack of the other two, any form of perseverance would dim after so many years.

He was starting to feel… tired of it all. An exhaustion that ran deeper than his many sleepless nights. A heavy feeling on his shoulders that slowed his reactions, a treacherous voice that kept asking "Why? Why am I doing this?" A horribly enticing need to just let it all go, to bundle up in a corner and sleep till the end of the world. Even if he did that, the end would come sooner than later anyway.

'You're getting all emo again,' growled a voice.

He realized it was not his voice of reason, but rather Gaz that was speaking from the doorway. He lifted his heavy head, thinking that maybe people were right whenever they said it was big.

'Come on, hurry,' she said before leaving in a cloud of tangible doom.

Dib shook himself mentally. He was walking down that path again. He silently thanked Gaz for interrupting his thoughts; they were getting more and more appealing with time. At first he used to fight them, but now he was starting to ponder why he needed to fight them in the first place. Treacherous inner voice indeed.

The walk to Hi Skool was silent, without Dib's usual chatter. Gaz was playing her beloved Game Slave. Their weird sibling relationship had somehow become… better over the years. They were not exactly the most loving family, but Gaz seemed less prone to violence since she had access to older rated games. Gore and violence managed to exteriorize the incredible amount of pure hatred she seemed to carry around. She still liked to beat up Dib whenever he took the last slice of pizza, but years of running from hers and Zim's punches made him quicker to get the hell away.

The silence was eating at Dib's insides. The questioning came back faster this time, but he couldn't voice any of it aloud, by fear of making it more real. Gaz wouldn't probably listen, anyways. No one cared enough to listen.

And that was the problem, wasn't it? His father though him insane, his sister was too busy playing videogames, his classmates made fun of him and nobody ever believed him when he was just trying to save their lives. He didn't ask for much, just a tiny bit of recognition over his work, someone to acknowledge how he risked his life everyday for a lost cause, how…

Dib entered the Hi Skool with relief, his thoughts were betraying him again. He went directly to the locker room. Zim's locker wasn't usually hard to find, it was the only one with a retinal scanner, a ten-digit code and security lasers around it. Dib scoffed. He, at least, had drawn the line at the lasers.

A mix of relief and excitement washed over him when he saw the poorly disguised invader taking his books from the locker. He recognized the adrenaline rush. Anticipation. Ten minutes to eight, their first fight of the day.

'Hey, alien scum!' he called, walking up to him.

Zim turned around, not surprised to see him there. He was two minutes late, after all. Not that he was counting the seconds.

'What do you want, filthy human?'

The words slipped easily past his green lips, years of practice made the question sound more like a greeting than an insult.

'I noticed you weren't in school for the last three days. Care to elaborate?'

'What I do is none of your concern,' spat the Invader with a little more venom than usual. Dib seemed to notice and frowned slightly.

'The hell it is!' he growled back. 'You made it my concern when you decided to take over this planet!'

Zim opened his mouth, ready to spit that he wouldn't be taking over the Earth anymore but stopped when he saw Dib's face. His eyes, amber burning with all the rage of his hatred, his mistrust, his obsession, focused solely on him. Zim felt himself grin without intending to. Someone was watching HIM, the almighty ZIM, with all their attention and concentration and disgusting feelings bundled up into one big silver platter to feed his bruised ego. The Dib, this puny pathetic fleshy human defined his life around the great ZIM.

…He was the only living being in the universe that gave any kind of importance to Zim now.

Loved, hated, what was the difference? It felt good to be noticed.

Dib was starting to feel uneasy before Zim's creepy grin. He let his façade of hatred slip, be replaced by puzzlement, and then mistrust.

'Why are you grinning?' he demanded. 'Is it another one of your idiotic plans?'

'Why, YES, you filthy human! Zim has another AMAZING plan to DOOM all of you pathetic monkeys into SUBMISSION and SLAVERY to MEEEEE, the great ZIIIIIM!'

The lies came easily. Years of practice.

'That's what you think, Space Boy!' shouted back Dib. 'I will stop you, like every single time!'

'Keep dreaming, worm-baby! You won't be able to stop ME!'

Over the years, the speech patterns had acquired a rhythm that came and went like a melody. A bit more like a Death Metal song with lots of angry cursing, but they both recited their lyrics from memory. That's why, whenever one of them changed a single pulse in their lines, the other was bound to take notice.

Zim knew Dib hadn't talked of exposing him to the authorities for more than a year. Yes, mentions of the autopsy table came and went, but the human didn't talk about fame and recognition anymore. Zim wasn't a very introspective person and chalked it off to stoo-pid tiny human brains that forgot everything eventually. But Dib was more perceptive.

'…and then I'll walk over the corpses of your fellow Earthanoids, squish-squashing in their blood and putrid organs, and I'll make you LICK my boots to clean them, and-'

'What happened to the Irken Armada?' wondered Dib out-loud.

Zim stopped right in his tracks. That was a drastic change. It wasn't supposed to be there. It hit way too close to home.

'…What are you talking about, hyuuumun?'

'You always rant about how the Armada would come to destroy us all then make us your slaves, which is a contradiction, by the way, but you never… I mean, it's always the Tallests this and the Tallests that, so… It's just… Are you feeling all right?'

He couldn't help a note of concern getting past his voice; he'd have to remember to bang his head against a wall later. But Zim really did look a little pale, his expression one of shock, or loss. For a fleeting second, then the bell seemed to bring the alien back to reality. Zim threw Dib a glare so full of anger it could have been taken from their early years.

'It is NONE of your concern, Dib-stink.'

He then turned around and walked to class, late already. Dib jogged past him, not wanting to be the last one in the class. Not a word was exchanged after that. They had strayed way too far from their usual path already.

* * *

During the day, Zim started to regret his decision to come back to Hi Skool. Without a mission to carry him trough the day, the sheer amount of stoo-pid dripping from the teacher's mouth made him want to rip his antennas off with a spork. That was what the pitiful hyuuuumans called _science_? Ha! The almighty ZIM had more dangerous chemicals in his first smeet toys! And History lessons were no better; the teacher drone could make thousands of years of pure bloodshed sound more BO-RING than a dull rock submitted to erosion. Zim could admit some of these hyumuns had had potential, but they had been dead for centuries. No alliances with Alexander the Great (was he a Tallest of some sort?) or Attila the Hun, then. 

Art class came last, and it was the worst of them all. Zim had to fake a doctor's note, because they were working with watercolors. The alien spent the period scribbling in the margins of his notebook and ignoring Dib.

The human kept throwing glances at him through the day, but that was nothing new. It was the looks, oh the looks. Devoid of any kind of anger, hatred, vindication, revenge or any kind of suspicion. They were… merely curious. The game had been thrown off that morning and the Dib refused to do as if nothing happened. Zim was seething. How DARE he take the only normal thing left in Zim's life? The Dib should be shaking his brush at Zim to shower him with droplets of colored water, not vacantly stare at him like some STOO-PID zebra.

The bell rang once again, and Zim got caught in the flow of students literally escaping for the weekend. He made his way, grinding his teeth and shoving the ones that got on his way. Oh, if only he could use his spider legs… To impale them all…

At least, the Dib-human wasn't following him anymore. Maybe he had let the subject drop and went home. Zim closed his locker door with a little more force than usual. No, that wouldn't do. The Dib always waited for him to come out so he could taunt him some more. Then they would go back to their respective houses and prepare for the oncoming fight. There was always a fight during weekends. It was easier to prepare his amazing plans when he had no homework to do.

He hadn't planned anything for this weekend, but the Dib-beast didn't need to know that.

Zim walked out of the Hi Skool main entrance, and scanned the grounds. No sign of that cursed hair anywhere. He spotted the Gaz-creature, already walking away, eyes fixed on her gaming system. She was alone. Zim frowned, usually the Dib never took more than two minutes of gloating so he could walk home with her. Where was the filthy human?

A loud laughter caught his attention. It came from the outdoors eating area, supposedly vacant at this time. Everybody knew it was where Torque Smacky used to beat his daily victims into submission, and nobody dared go against him. Zim scoffed. Whoever the monkey decided to beat was none of his business.

Until a pained yelp made it his business.

It took Zim only a couple of seconds to run towards the eating area. He saw a group of humans, no more than five, whom he knew to be larger and even more stoo-pid than most humans, if that were possible. Torque, the biggest, meanest and "_idiotest"_ of those primates, was busy kicking a crouching figure. The Dib.

Zim observed the scene for a couple of seconds, not even noticing a frown creeping on his face. Why was the Dib not fighting back? He knew his nemesis to be quicker and stronger. By Irk, HE, the great ZIM, made him more efficient in combat mode. The human NEVER let himself be caught unawares by the group of primates, so why was he just taking the beating, whimpering like a weak smeetling?

The Torque-primate leaned down, took Dib by the collar and lifted him up again with a single arm. The Dib growled, trying to get the other monstrosity to free him, but his hits and yells didn't seem to phase him. Zim's frown got deeper when he took a good look at Dib's face.

He was throwing Torque The Look. The one full of hate and resentment and anger, the one that promised countless deaths and even more pain, the Look that Zim knew so well and craved so much.

The alien growled. That look, and those scars, and that blood leaking from the human's lower lip, that blackened eye and that pure amount of hate belonged to ZIM! To Zim and NO ONE ELSE! He wouldn't let a smelly, filthy, disgusting, revolting, germ ridded, horrible, deformed, disfigured WORM-BABY take what was HIS AND HIS ALONE!

Torque didn't see his attacker. He just found himself sprawled on the hard concrete, holding his broken jaw and screaming like a banshee. His eyes went up and saw Zim.

The green kid was towering over him, a boot firmly planted on a fallen Dib's torso. His shoulders were raised, his back arched like an angry cat, his claws ready to strike, and he was hissing through his teeth. Torque felt actual fear, for once. Everybody knew better than to mess with the green psychopath. Dib was the only one stupid enough to provoke him. The other kids who messed with him never came back the same, if they came back at all.

'FILTHY STINK-BEAST!' he yelled. 'That hyuuuumun is Zim's to hurt, and ZIM's alone! Don't touch him EVER AGAIN or face your DOOM at the hands of the ALMIGHTY ZIIIIIIM!'

He turned around and growled in direction of the other teenagers. They ran away without waiting for their leader, who disappeared a second later, whimpering over his broken jaw.

'Pathetic filth,' muttered Zim.

A pained groan caught his attention. The Dib had brought a shaking hand to his bloody lip, trying to make sense of everything. Zim crouched on top of him, still holding him down with his foot.

'…Zim?' groaned the human. '…What?…'

'Dib-beast!' shouted the Invader. 'WHAT is the meaning of this? How could you let a bunch of PATHETIC PRIMATES beat you up like a weakling baby platypus?'

Dib shook his head, trying to put aside the pain. Oh God, he was hurting everywhere. His stomach and chest, after being submitted to Torque's kicks, were now supporting the weight of the alien. His lower lip, his left eye, his head OH GOD HIS HEAD, it was hurting SO MUCH and Zim kept SHOUTING and he knew he was shaking again but he couldn't stop it, goddamn caffeine patch, he knew he should have taken another one but he forgot them and by all that was holy, why was Zim shaking him and SHOUTING?!?

'ANSWER ME, DIB-MONKEY!'

Dib took all his strength to push the alien aside. He stood up slowly, holding his throbbing head, spitting out blood. His whole body was shaking, result of the beating, the caffeine patch and so much anger at Torque, Zim, and himself. Why did his head had to HURT SO MUCH?!

He lifted his eyes to find Zim watching him with a curious expression. At least the idiotic alien had stopped shouting.

'What _is_ the matter with you, Dib-beast?' asked Zim in a suspicious tone. 'You're shaking all over. Have you caught a deadly human disease?' He asked with ill-covered hope.

Dib shook his head, but it just made the pain worse. He still couldn't understand what had happened. He hadn't even heard Torque and his goons sneaking up on him, he didn't even have the reflex to fight back, or even run. His senses were dulled, his limbs refused to listen, and he just couldn't stop shaking. The patch was losing its power. He'd need to take a stronger one as soon as he got home.

Zim poked him none too gently on the chest, waiting for his answer. Answer to what? What was the alien even doing there? He… he remembered Zim yelling at Torque, and the bullies running away. Had Zim… saved him? That was ludicrous. And yet, Zim was there, still repeatedly poking his sternum with a pointed claw.

'Stop that,' growled Dib, pushing the gloved hand aside.

'I asked you what was the matter with you!' growled Zim. 'You're acting very un-Dib-like. Zim wants to know why.'

He raised a claw to poke him again, but Dib growled.

'I'm… it's the caffeine patch, okay? I couldn't sleep lately, and I've been… I need a stronger dose, that's all. Why do you care, anyways?'

'Lies! Zim does not care and never will!' was the automatic response. 'Zim just wants to exploit this new weakness of yours, yes! VICTORY WILL BE MINE!'

'Ah, stop shouting! My head!' exclaimed Dib. 'Please, rant all you want but not as loud, I'm begging you!'

Zim backed up a step. Dib's pleading sounded nice, but it wasn't normal to hear him beg that early during a fight. Irk, the human never begged, he usually threatened and complained until a stroke of luck, or GIR's meddling got him out of Zim's clutches for another week.

Dib was surprised to actually get some silence. He lifted his eyes, focusing on Zim. What was up with the alien, anyways? First straying away from their usual fight that morning, then ignoring him all day, even missing their lunch hour shouting match, and now saving him from a pack of bullies? That wasn't anything like him.

'…Why… why did you…' Dib started. He didn't want to use the words "save me", they held too many implications. He started over. 'Why did you stop Torque?'

Zim crossed his arms in a defensive gesture.

'The Dib-human was cowering like a stoo-pid weakling fish under the attacks. It was a pathetic sight, really.'

'Yes, but you didn't have to help me!' Crap, the words were out. Well, too late to back off now, Dib.

He was surprised to see Zim advance one, two steps, invade his personal space by leaning really close towards his face. Dib gulped, his tremors seemed to duplicate.

'I was not helping you in any way,' hissed Zim. 'I was only reclaiming what was mine.'

'…What? What are you talking about?' asked Dib, trying really hard to ignore the loud pounding in his ears. Damn caffeine patch.

'I saw the look you gave him,' growled the Invader. 'Do _not_ look at _anyone else_ like that, _ever again_.'

Dib was speechless. Zim sounded more like a possessive lover than an enemy. What the hell was wrong with him? What look? Was he subconsciously sending Torque seducing winks while getting the crap beaten out of him?

'What the hell, Zim?' he asked out loud. 'What do you…'

He was stopped mid-rant by the Invader grabbing his collar with both clawed hands and bringing his face even nearer, way too close for any kind of comfort. Dib's breath caught and his trembling only got worse. Time suspended itself.

'This hatred belongs to Zim and no one else,' muttered the alien with contained fury.

A second passed between them, incomprehension, something loud and tangible that screamed to get recognized, a shift in time and space. Zim let go of Dib's shirt, narrowed his eyes at him and walked away in silence.

Dib's gaze followed him outside the Hi Skool grounds, still wondering what had happened there. One thing was sure, they were never coming back to what they considered "normal" anymore.

* * *

The Squeaky's bridge was silent. The ship's front window was displaying a countless amount of stars, but one of them appeared bigger than the rest already. A couple of hours and the planets surrounding it would be visible as well. 

Captain Taty was standing in the middle of it, eyes narrowed at a portable screen. Something there didn't seem just right. Last time she checked, there was absolutely no data on the E-art planet, yet it now overflowed the database. Incomplete and incoherent information seemed added there in haste, sometimes repeating itself and generally not helping at all.

A sigh interrupted her musings. The scientist of her crew was hunched over the radar, staring at the little meaningless dots in space.

'How long is this going to take, Captain?' she asked with a bored expression.

'You're the one supposed to know this, Kinn' answered curtly the Captain.

'I know I said two more days but, isn't there a way to make the ship go faster?' she said with some hope in her orange eyes, antennas wiggling in anticipation.

The pilot chair turned abruptly around, a menacing growl coming from it. The Irken sitting in it, a blue-eyed cranky looking female with curly antennas, shot the scientist an angry glare.

'Keep poking and probing your experiments with needles and leave piloting up to me.'

'But Miik, if you just let me add some boosters, or test my new fuel based on phenolphthalein, we could achieve grater speeds and get there…'

A single glare shut her up. She knew better than to toy with the Squeaky's innards, even if it was tempting. The Captain never allowed it, and the pilot would chew her head off. A laugh made her turn around. A ridiculously small Irken soldier sat in the corner, tinkering with a plasma gun bigger than him and looking at her with amused eyes.

'Why are you so impatient to get there, anyways?' he asked.

'Well, it's been a while since we've been on an inhabited planet, and I just want to study the locals and collect samples,' she answered with an evasive gesture.

'Collect samples, my smooth green ass' muttered the soldier. 'You females just want to raid their stores like the other times. Useless waste of time, if you ask me.'

'That blob planet had the cutest hair barrettes in this part of the galaxy!' answered Kinn in a defensive stance.

'I wonder why you bought them since you don't have hair in the first place,' snorted the soldier.

Captain Taty raised an imperative hand before an argument could start between the scientist and the soldier. The members of her crew were tense, it was not the first fight that she stopped between Kinn, Miik and Bass. A rapid glance to the high chair, further away, told her that Diplomat Blo was keeping himself occupied reading a peace treaty on a screen. Of course, the tall Irken never was any trouble.

'Everyone, just shut up' she snapped. 'We're entering the star Sol's orbit, so the planet will be accessible within the next two days. Until then, I won't tolerate any kind of smeetly bickering between any of you. Is that clear?'

'Yes, my Captain,' was the unanimous response. That was better, she mused. Silence again.

It wouldn't last long, of course.

'Hem… Captain?' asked timidly Kinn.

'What is it?' she growled.

'I don't know what to make of it, but get a look at this' she gestured to the radar screen.

Taty narrowed her eyes, trying to see anything of importance on the screen showing mostly dots and numbers. Kinn's pointed a dot with her claw. A dot that moved really, really fast.

'I just detected it now, and it seems to gain distance on us.' Explained the scientist.

'What do you reckon it is?'

'It has to be a ship, a Speeder if it's of Irken origin. It's way too fast to be anything else.'

'Where is it now?'

'It's passing the Damogran system right as we speak, but if it keeps the same trajectory, it will catch up with us in no time.'

'Catch up?' repeated the Captain in an incredulous tone.

'Yes, my Captain, we're being followed,' concluded the scientist in an unnaturally grave voice.

* * *

An: Here we have it, the obligatory Torque-beating-up-Dib scene. But from my point of view, Dib would be strong and fast enough to get out of it unharmed, he does fight with Zim on a regular basis. Blame the Caffeine Patch. And as for Zim saving  
him, I only see him doing it by pure possessive behavior. After all, it is the point of this fic :) 

Oh, both Earth's location (Western spiral arm of the Galaxy) on chap 1 and the reference to the Damogran system were taken from the Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy. Awesome book.


	3. A new kind of stealthy infiltration

AN: Holy mother of Irk, could it be?!? A new Kribliss chapter? Yes, my pretties, Swing managed to kick her own butt and finish the corrections on this chapter. You still won't learn the meaning of "Kribliss" but you'll get some plot exposition I looooove plot exposition…

**Chapter three- A new kind of stealthy infiltration**

* * *

"**Go on! Laugh! But one day, you'll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and they you'll look over and I'll be there, doin' stuff!" –Dib (Rise of the Zit boy)

* * *

**

The strange meeting had left Dib rather… confused.

Or maybe confused was an understatement. His caffeine induced energy, along with an unhealthy amount of self-doubt, questioning and overanalyzing, didn't let him get more than one or two hours of sleep at a time. He spent Friday night and all of Saturday pacing back and forth in his room muttering to himself. Gaz had seen him crawl out to eat once, go to the bathroom twice and exit his room only once more to curl himself on the sofa to watch Mysterious Mysteries, weekend edition. She was used to her brother acting generally weird, but this was bordering on freakish. Any more of that and he would get sent to the Crazy House for Boys once again, and then Zim would come barging into HER house asking about Dib's whereabouts.

Hm. She had better do something before it came to that. Alien blood was such a bitch to clean off clothes.

She entered his room without knocking, making him jump a mile in the air with a resounding yelp of surprise. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, surrounded by hundred of pictures depicting Zim in his human disguise, Zim's robot dog, Zim's neon-green house, Zim's robotic fake parents, and so forth. Next to that were piles of drawings where Gaz recognized badly rendered aliens of many species and weird blobs that may or may not have been spaceships.

'You're getting creepier than usual,' she growled.

This, in Gaz-talk, was the equivalent of "My dearest brother, I care for thy health and well-being. Please, do tell what worries thou and I will listen with rapt attention." Of course, if anyone ever insinuated that, they'd be dead before hitting the floor.

'I don't know what you mean,' he mumbled while nervously rearranging piles of notes taken during spying sessions.

Gaz growled even louder. She was actually being _nice_ to him, he was _not_ going to wave her away. She entered the room, her heavy army boots walking over pictures and drawings, and dropped herself on his desk chair, arms crossed.

'You have exactly one minute to talk,' she hissed. 'Start now.'

Dib's eyes went round with surprise. Gaz _hated_ to listen. What had… No, he was losing time!

'It's just that…'

He hid his head in his hands for a second, before snapping up.

'Everything's going wrong!' he exclaimed. 'You know how Zim and I always fight several times a day, and then on the weekends I always manage to stop him before he does anything too bad? We had this thing precisely timed for years, and now he goes and changes everything by ignoring me and defending me against a gang of thugs and claiming that I'm not even supposed to hate anybody else and I don't understand any of it! But the worst part is that I didn't even notice how lame our fights had become during all these years! We were respecting a schedule, always repeating the same insults over and over and over again and they never even got old, but now we did and I can't believe I'm saying this but, oh Gaz, I'm getting tired of it all! My mind keeps telling me to let go, that it's not worth it, that Earth is not worth the time I've been spending on fighting that alien and that if they're not clever enough to watch or just listen to my warnings, well, screw them! And it's tempting! Soooo tempting! But, if I let go, and Zim takes over, everything is going to be my fault and I won't be able to…'

'Time's up,' growled Gaz. 'Stop whining, now.'

Dib snapped his mouth shut. He knew that being nice was pretty hard on Gaz and that if he dared oppose her, she would not hesitate to beat him into a pulp. He stared at her with vacant eyes, his whole body shaking with caffeine.

'Diagnostic: you're a whiny emo freak,' concluded Gaz. 'Your alien doesn't need you to mess his own plans, he's incompetent enough to do it himself. Nobody needs you, Dib. If you walked up to Zim's house and surrendered yourself, it wouldn't make any difference to the world. I thought you would have gotten it by now.'

And with those words of infinite wisdom, she got up and left his room.

Dib watched her go. His eyes wandered over the badly drawn picture of his old school counselor stapled to the wall. The yellowing paper and a good portion of wall were covered in small holes, where Dib had thrown anything remotely sharp he'd found over the years: forks, scalpels, knives, ninja stars, even small poisoned arrows once. His anger flared at seeing the hated stupid look, and hair, and tie, and the blood-red word "traitor" written under the portrait. The counselor had taken the only evidence he'd manage to collect. Never again did he manage to get such a good shot of aliens.

The pictures scattered on the floor were all there to prove it. Zim, GIR, the base, everything was there to see, but only Dib knew the truth. Anybody else would see a kid with a skin condition, his cute little doggie, his house painted by a color-blind decorator, everything normal. Nothing to write home about.

Hundred of pictures, thousands of failures. He didn't even have a single minute of good camera footage, after years of spying and thousands of dollars spent on new equipment. All his notes, for nothing. Nothing… Not even a small acknowledgement. A thank you. Nothing.

Nobody cared.

Well, he wouldn't either.

His self-imposed mission abandoned, his dreams of fame and glory swept out of the room, his countless hours of work falling to nothing, everything he knew, he let it go. His childhood crashed to the floor with no more than a tired sigh.

It was over. All of it. Maybe he'd get a little sleep, after all.

But not before talking to Zim.

* * *

It was Saturday, a couple of minutes before midnight, and Zim was B-O-R-E-D. The night was warm, still young, he had no homework, no upcoming exams, no evil plan to complete and no _advanced_ robot to stop from annihilating the galaxy. Nope, GIR was sitting next to him on the sofa, happily watching some stoo-pid hyumun movie for the fourteenth time. Besides an occasional "I love that show", the little robot wasn't causing any kind of disturbance. It was really, really, REALLY boooooooring.

The alien grumped. Where was the Dib-monkey anyways? Usually, at this hour, he should be at least prisoner of a tube full of goo or running for his life. He crossed his arms. This abnormality thing had to stop soon or he'd loose his sanity. He managed to overcome his depression after a mere week, he was a survivor after all, but only if the Dib-thing kept his half of the bargain. And now, the hyumun hadn't even showed to their weekly rendezvous. It was scandalous!

A beeping sound jolted him back to reality. Someone was approaching his house. He jumped back on his feet, skipped to the door and pressed the button that made it transparent on his side.

_Victory!_

The Dib was walking up his front path. But… without any kind of costume, or device, or ninja gear. Zim lowered his antennas. What was the meaning of this? A new ruse? Well, the almighty Zim wouldn't let himself fall in any kind of pathetic trap the human smeet would try to lay for him. He watched suspiciously as Dib stopped in front of the door and… did nothing.

Zim crossed his arms, impatient already. What was he waiting for? Why was he still shaking, and messing his hair, and pulling his hands out of his pockets just to put them back again? Why wasn't he pressing the doorbell already? Did he knew it would activate the trapdoor right under his feet? And why was he staring trough the door, as if he could clearly see him trough the Irken material?

Zim was feeling something weird inside his squeedlyspooch. The Dib-hyumun did seem to be staring right at him. But he couldn't know… Could he?

Unable to stand the wait a second longer, Zim opened the door with force. Dib jumped a little bit, but this was caffeine induced jumpiness. The alien opened his mouth to rant, but realized he had no idea what to say. He closed his teeth with a resounding _snap_ and glared. A long silence ensued. Dib took a deep breath and started what he came to do.

'Huh… Zim? Can I come in?' he asked. 'To talk! Nothing else!' he added, seeing the alien's narrowed eyes.

'Is that your new plan to sneak into my base, Dib-thing? Coming to my front door and _ask_? It's more pathetic than all your previous ones put together in a box!'

'No, it's not a plan! I really, honestly just want to talk! You can scan me if you want, I have no camera on me this time!'

He knew it was a risky move, but he wouldn't have any other chance than this. Zim had been acting stranger than usual, almost kindly in his own possessive and violent way. If he didn't do this now, it would be back to step one for both of them. He wasn't sure he had he energy to go back, now that his decision was taken.

Zim grumbled but motioned him to come in and closed the door afterwards. It wouldn't do for the neighbors to see him without his perfect hyumun disguise. Dib stopped in the middle of the living room, eyeing the tubes on the ceiling with a small hint of worry.

'I thought you would scan me for cameras and stuff,' he said to fill the silence.

'The scan was on the door. You were saying no lies,' answered Zim with even more suspicion now.

'I told you, I just want to have… a friendly chat.'

Those were not good words to tell Zim. He advanced, claws at his sides ready to strike, antennas lowered, hissing trough his teeth.

'WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?' he yelled. 'Stop acting so un-Dib-like! Zim orders you to try to stop me from taking over this filthy planet!'

'What_is_ the matter with you, Zim?' shouted Dib at the top of his voice. 'I thought you would be happy not to have me interrupting whatever idiotic mess you were cooking up, for once!'

'Foolishness! The almighty Zim doesn't cook any messes for you to interrupt! It is you, stoo-pid worm-baby, who changed the patterns without my given permission!'

'What the hell? I don't need your stinking permission, I do whatever I want! And it's you who's been acting weirder than usual lately, what's with that?'

'Zim is acting no different to the other days! You need to change those useless visors on your ugly face, they need polishing!'

'Oh, back to name calling, are we? So mature, Zim, but it would be nice to change insults for once.'

'I will call you whatever I see fit, you smelly Earth-monkey! You have no say in this!'

Dib opened his mouth to retort, but closed it off at last second. It was far too easy falling on the same patterns, but he was there to break them. Zim seemed surprised by the sudden silence, but his curiosity to whatever the human had to say won over.

'You said you were here to talk, human. So talk,' he spat.

'Listen, Zim…' he started. God, why was it so hard? He just couldn't come over and say "I surrender" to his worst enemy! How did one gave away a lifelong war? 'You and I both know things have been different, lately.' He raised a hand before Zim could shout his usual "LIES!" and continued. 'We both have our reasons to act… like this. And now, this thing… our game… is off.'

'It was never a game for Zim,' growled the alien.

'For me neither,' admitted Dib. 'But whatever it was, it's not there anymore and you know it.'

Zim kept his suspicious face, but his antennas lowered behind his head. Then, this was over too. The Tallest had left him, his mission was a scam, he himself was a failure and now his enemy didn't want to keep fighting him. No one on Irk or on Earth wanted anything to do with him. He realized at this moment that he had absolutely nothing left in the whole universe.

Dib had lowered his head, so he didn't see Zim's once proud figure slump in defeat.

'Listen, worm-baby…' started the Invader.

'No need to kick me out yet, just hear me and I'll be gone,' pressed Dib still eyeing the floor.

'…Zim is getting tired of this…'

'I know what you mean, and it's the exact reason of my presence here! I've had enough of this, it's leading us nowhere!'

'…nothing is keeping you here…'

'Don't worry, I'll be out of your mechanical legs soon enough. I just wanted to say –'

'You win,' they both said at the same time.

Both stared at each other in the most complete silence. Then…

'HA! VICTORY FOR ZIM!'

'No wait a minute, you said it too!'

'Lies! You granted me victory, Zim WINS! You said it, I've got it recorded by my computer!'

'If you got it recorded, then it will show you admitting defeat too!'

'Huh… foolishness! I will delete this recording then!'

'But, that would… oh forget it. You win, happy?'

Zim was very ready to do a victory dance, had the Dib not decided to walk over to the couch and slump over it in a loud sigh. Next to him, GIR was still watching the movie and hadn't seemed to notice the life altering discussion.

Zim walked over and lowered his head to face Dib's. The human let himself be scrutinized by the huge crimson eyes and didn't react to the personal space invasion besides a tremor accentuated by the caffeine.

'You still have the _shakies,_' stated the Irken.

'It's the patch,' muttered Dib.

'I don't like it. It makes you act all jittery. Take it off.'

'No, I don't…'

Before he even finished his sentence, he was pulled to his feet and was already losing his trench coat to the repeated pulling of strong Irken hands.

'Take it off, take it off!'

'Zim, stop it, you're gonna rip it!'

The alien managed claim the coat and threw it aside without a second glance. He paid no attention to Dib's protests and took a hold of his right arm, pushed up his t-shirt sleeve and found the little rectangular Caffeine Patch™ with a happy Membrane face on it. Without any kind of warning, he pulled it off in a single move, making Dib scream in the process.

'Argh! What was that for?'

'If you want to talk with Zim, do it with your normal Dib self.'

'Okay, no need to pull off my skin, jeesh…' he muttered, rubbing his arm.

Zim threw the patch in the kitchen incinerator and came back. Dib had taken his coat from the floor and was holding it, looking rather lost.

'…Why?' he asked. '…Why did you… declare forfeit?'

'It is no business of yours – ' started Zim.

'Yes it is!' interrupted Dib. 'I want it to be my business, I want to know! Damnit, Zim, we've been enemies for years, you're my nemesis, you're actually the only one I can relate to! If something bad enough happened to you to make you change your mind about conquering Earth, I want to know about it!'

Zim stared for a while. His earlier thoughts were being spoken out loud by the human, it was unsettling. But maybe it meant that everything was not lost yet.

'You tell Zim first,' he simply stated, 'why you surrendered.'

'For the exact same reason,' muttered Dib. 'If I died, you'd be the only one to notice.'

'Of course I would, for I would be the one killing you,' answered Zim with a vague wave of a hand. 'Nobody ever cared about your pitiful life, it never stopped you before.'

'I've grown tired of it all. I thought I would be able to do it, but I wasn't strong enough, it would seem.'

Zim made an odd 'pff' sound with his lips. Even though the Dib's reasons to quit the fight were not that impressive, he could see where this was coming from. Hyumuns, repulsive creatures, needed constant contact and approbation of other even more repulsive hyumuns. It was pathetic and disgusting. Some of the more pitiful specimens that didn't manage to be linked to any other hyumun found comfort in small critters. The Dib had none. Not a hyumun wanted to be associated with him, and that was understandable, and not a pet remained alive very long when placed under his care. Zim had seen to that.

'I've told you my reasons,' continued the Dib. 'What are yours?'

The alien fought back an urge to snap. This repulsive creature was all that was left. He had to… make an effort.

'Zim's mission to conquer the Earth has been… put on hold,' he said.

'What? Why?'

'Too much watery stuff,' he answered evasively. 'The Tallest asked me to remain here until they found a use for this dirt ball. That is all, there is nothing more, no need to ask.'

Dib frowned. Zim's lies were hesitant and he could see right trough them. He knew Irken technology could eliminate all of Earth's water, Zim had done it before to win a stupid _water balloon_ fight. And if Zim was supposed to remain there, why was he surrendering to his worst enemy?

He decided to let it drop for the moment, because he was rather enjoying having a decent conversation with the Invader. It had been too long since he'd talked to anyone that wasn't asking him to shut up.

'I believe you,' he lied. 'And now… what?'

'What do you mean, what?'

'What are we doing, now? What's happening…' he made back and forth gestures between them, unable to complete his sentence.

'It depends,' said Zim. 'Will you try to expose me again?'

'No, I won't. And I won't infiltrate your base or break your stuff as long as you don't attack anybody with it.'

'Zim will be nice to the ugly earthlings,' he conceded. 'So, is this…'

'…A truce?' asked Dib. 'I think so, yeah. Do you want it to be?'

Zim gave no answer. He simply walked to the teenager and seemed to think for a moment. He then took out his hand, without knowing where to place it.

'How was this Earthian custom again?' he muttered.

Dib took it and shook it gently. He tried to keep solemn, but the satisfaction of making a truce with his worst enemy brought a giddy smile to his lips. Zim raised an antenna.

'Why are you grinning like an idiot?'

'Oh, nothing. It just sounds nice to be talking without any death threats getting in the way,' he said, still smiling.

'I'll be throwing some to keep you on your guard, and myself entertained' snickered the alien. 'And I think you can let go of my hand now.'

Dib realized he was still holding the alien's hand and not even shaking it. A huge yawn interrupted any kind of embarrassment from showing on his face. The patch aftereffects were already showing.

'Sorry 'bout that,' he muttered. 'You shouldn't have taken off the patch, now I need a new one…'

'Cease this foolishness,' grumbled Zim. 'I know your pitiful hyuuumuns bodies need to rest daily.'

'I'll be fine, don't worry about it…'

'Silence. Sit. Now,' he ordered, pointing to the couch.

A wave of dizziness forced Dib to comply. He let himself drop next to GIR, who was still watching the movie with rapt attention.

'This is my favorite show,' he confided to the tired human.

'Hm hm,' was the only answer.

Zim sat on the other side of GIR, keeping a close watch on the human. Dib was trying to keep his attention on the movie, but five minutes later, he was out like a light.

* * *

'I don't like it,' grumbled the small soldier Bass watching the blue planet trough the main screen.

'Because whether you like it or not will _really_ make a difference in the grand scheme of things,' replied Miik with a heavy dose of sarcasm while placing the Squeaky on a stable orbit around said planet.

'I'm just saying it has too much of that toxic blue stuff on it. Make sure we don't fall in.'

'What do you take me for?' growled the pilot. 'I wasn't hatched from the nursery yesterday, you know? Now shut up before I decide to land us in one of those blue patches.'

'No need to be such a –'

He was interrupted by the entrance door sliding and the Captain walking in with a resolute pace.

'Miik, are we stabilized?'

'Yes, Captain. Won't be moving from this orbit for a while.'

'Good. Now go help Kinn with the Star Cruiser, we'll be off as soon as possible.'

Bass growled and sat back in his spot, playing with his last model of Mega Plasmatic Doom 3000X™, a gun so powerful you could easily make a hole trough the Massive with it and even have enough energy left to blow up a planet with the same shot.

'I still don't see why we have to stay behind,' grumbled the soldier.

'There is no need for all of us to go, the primates living there seem inoffensive. If we ever need reinforcements, you'll be able to come down all guns out. And I don't think you'd like Kinn in a shopping spree,' conceded the Captain.

That seemed convince him to stay. He glanced at the planet, wondering which one of the brown patches of land he'd like to blow up first if he got the chance.

Captain Taty felt something move alongside her and turned around to see Diplomat Blo, watching her with an inquiring antenna raised up.

'You're staying here,' answered Taty to his silent question. 'The Tallest ordered me to take you only if it proved dangerous.'

The tall Diplomat said nothing, but his blue gaze was thoughtful. Taty was playing a dangerous game of sidestepping the Tallest's direct orders to keep her crew safe. He nodded and went back to his rooms without making another sound.

Taty joined the other members of her crew on the shipping deck. They were standing besides the only other ship contained within the Squeaky: a smaller and faster space ship named the Star Cruiser. It could sit the whole crew, but had nothing else besides the motors, a very limited storage area and the piloting deck. Kinn and Miik were arguing next to it. They stopped immediately upon seeing their Captain's warning glance.

'Kinn, are the holograms up to date?' she asked the orange-eyed scientist.

'Yes, my Captain!' she answered with enthusiasm. 'I searched the database and scanned the electrical and radio emissions from this planet to assemble realistic human disguises for us. The primates are weird-looking, but you wouldn't believe their clothing diversity! The blob planet had nothing on them, they even have this unbelievable invention called platform shoes, that…'

'Just give us the collars and get on the ship,' interrupted the Captain.

With a mutter and a discreet rolling of eyes, Kinn handed them two collars and climbed up the sass. Captain Taty handed a holographic collar to Miik and was surprised to see her smirk.

'You know, they also have an interesting line of clothing called "lingerie",' muttered the pilot. 'I'm sure it would look pretty on you, my Captain…'

'Kinky little thing,' whispered back the Captain. 'With a smirk that wide, I bet it's good. Not get on the ship before I take you back to my quarters and ravish you.'

'I wouldn't complain…'

'But Kinn probably would, and it would be loud and painful,' groaned the Captain.

Miik climbed the steps with a disgruntled expression. Taty glanced right and left, making sure the place was deserted, and extended a hand to twirl one of Miik's antenna around a claw. She let go as soon as she heard the gasp and entered the Star Cruiser without a second glance.

Miik growled. Getting a pilot all hot and bothered before a flight was never a good idea.

* * *

Dib slept. And slept some more. And more.

At one point, Zim had laid him down on the couch so his neck wouldn't be bent at an awkward angle. The human was still snoring, holding a complacent GIR in his arms. The little robot was more than happy to oblige and kept silent trough the whole thing, a goofy grin lighting up his metallic face. The movie got played once more, twice, so many times that Zim had stopped counting.

And Dib kept sleeping.

It was unsettling to have his once sworn enemy be that defenseless inside his own base and be unable to do anything about it. Or rather, not wanting to do anything about it. True, Zim could have broken the truce and attached the human to an operation table, or thrown him in a tube full of pink goo – the human complained more about pink than, say, purple or green goo – or even better, he could have dressed him up as a fairy princess, have GIR put make up on his face, take pictures and plaster them all over the Hi Skool halls. The last idea was tempting, but he wasn't sure where it stood on behalf of the truce. He would have to ask later, without arousing suspicion.

_Snoooooooooore._

'Yes, yes, I KNOW you are sleeping, Dib-beast,' muttered Zim while crossing his arms. 'Stupid hyuuumun, you need to be loud and annoying even while resting…'

The Dib had slept trough the night, the morning, and now Sunday evening was on it's way and the human still had to open his eyes. His snoring was the only thing keeping Zim from doing a full medical scan to ensure that his Dib-thing was still alive.

Wait, what? _His_ Dib-thing? Where did _that_ came from?

The phone interrupted his musings. He answered with no small amount of mistrust (over the years, the evil hyumun pathetic excuse for a communication device had opened the way only to Keef-like stalkers and eeeeevil telemarketers).

'Who are you?' he snapped over the receiver.

'Mysterious Mysteries is on and my brother is not watching it,' came the cryptic message that oozed with accusation and impeding doom.

'The Dib is currently snoring and drooling over my couch,' answered Zim curtly.

'Hmpf, like I care.'

And the line went dead. Zim shuddered. The Dib-sister always managed to make his squeedly-spooch quiver with fear. That female had something in her that screamed eternal pain and damnation. He hated whenever she got included in their fight, because she always managed to get her way, rescue her brother while beating the crap out of them both and making them feel utterly miserable. She was playing on a whole other level.

'…Hm? Where… Zim? Who…?' was the semi-coherent sentence that came from the couch.

The Dib was rubbing at his eyes under his glasses, trying to remember where he was. His eyes popped up when he saw the tubing on the ceiling, the clashing colors of the walls, the alien observing him and worse, the defective robot snuggling up to his chest and _purring_.

'Your sister called, asking if you were in any kind of danger you needed rescuing from,' was all that Zim could find to say. Something in Dib's just-waking-up attitude was reminding him of Ultra-Peepi, but he couldn't pinpoint what.

'Huh, what? She really said that?' exclaimed Dib regaining full consciousness. Out of everything, his sister showing any kind of concern was the weirder experience so far.

'Not in so many words.'

'Man, I can't believe I've fallen asleep on your couch, sorry… How long was I out?'

'Eighteen hours, give or take a handful of minutes.'

'…What? You're joking, right?'

'Zim is not making any attempt at Earthian humor, it is way too retarded,' he commented with a superior sniff. 'I had the time to walk GIR twice, buy groceries, watch the morning, midday and the evening news and find a solution to world hunger. But I'm telling _no one_.'

Dib raised an eyebrow. He wouldn't put it pass Zim.

'Now move over, you have monopolized Zim's couch long enough,' he made shooing gestures and sat down with a contented sigh.

'Thanks, I guess,' started Dib awkwardly. 'For not killing me during my sleep.' To anybody else it would have sounded funny, but for them it was legitimate.

'Zim is an Irken of his word,' replied the alien. 'I see you don't have the jitteries anymore.'

'Yeah, I feel wonderful, in fact. You were right, I needed sleep and not some sort of stupid patch.'

'Good. Zim is pleased that you are running at your full capacity for the remainder of this trucey-thingie.'

Dib nodded. Zim nodded. And fell into an uncomfortable silence. They had no idea what to say to the other that didn't include any kind of blackmail, gloating, death treats or any "your mother's so fat" insults. Those were not supposed to work, Zim being a test-tube baby and Dib one of his father's many experiment, but they always seemed to get a rise out of the other, by pure force of habit.

A minute went by. GIR had taken to change channels frantically with a high-pitched laughter, but neither former-enemy dared stop him. The truce was there, frail and shaky, and anything could make it crumble to the floor. An useless fight over the remote control being one of those things. So Gir kept zapping, and they kept watching, while trying desperately to find anything to talk about.

Five minutes of pure social hell went by without a single word.

And then, came salvation.

ALERT, AN IRKEN SPACESHIP HAS ENTERED THE PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE 

'Finally!' exclaimed Zim, jumping to his feet. He was getting tired of the silence, any kind of distraction was welcome. But Dib took it the wrong way.

'What do you mean, finally?' he shouted, getting up as well. 'It was all a trap, I knew it! You called your leaders while I was sleeping, didn't you?'

Zim realized his mistake a little too late.

'Don't be foolish, Dib-beast, I called no one, the trucey-thing still holds!'

'How do you want me to believe you when your friends are landing up as we speak!?!'

'These are not Zim's friends, these are –'

He snapped his mouth shut. Saying anything more was revealing too much_truthness_.

'_What_, Zim? This had better be good, or the truce is off' growled Dib.

'I don't know what they are anymore, alright?' shouted Zim with anger and frustration.

The ship could be full of friendly Irkens, but it could also be full of enemies wanting nothing more than to strap him to a rocket and aim it to a sun. The Dib, on the other hand, was a constant he didn't want to jeopardize, even less now that he was on _his_ side, for once.

'How can you not know when they're from your home pla–' started Dib.

'Irk is full of people that want Zim dead,' growled the ex-Invader. 'The Tallest being the first two ones.'

'What? What do you mean…'

'They called me and told me that I was nothing more than a defect, an annoying thing they kept around for their mere amusement. This mission was a fake, they never intended for me to land on a planet. They never cared about the Earth.'

Dib's mouth hung open. He didn't find anything to answer to that. How could he? Everything he knew to be true in his life, along with everything that held any kind of meaning to Zim was suddenly ripped off of them. The computer prevented him from finding anything to say.

ALERT, AN IRKEN SPACESHIP HAS ENTERED THE PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE 

'WE HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME!' yelled Zim.

_It's not…_ started the computer.

'SILENCE!' ordered the alien.

_Oooookay…_ grumbled the computer. _But don't come complaining later._

Dib was too stunned to notice anything wrong with the last exchange. Zim went back to him, eyes narrowed.

'Whoever they are, we must assume that they want me dead and are a threat to this planet,' he hissed.

'And you want to stop them?' asked Dib.

'Precisely. This pitiful ball of dirt is mine to conquer. No one, and I say NO ONE takes what is MINE and MINE ALONE!'

He turned around and walked towards the sink. He activated a knob and the elevator hidden there came to view. The alien turned sharply around with raised antennas.

'Are you coming or not?' he asked, getting impatient already.

Dib almost skipped towards the elevator.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think of it :) And don't hesitate to point out my mistakes, don't forget that I'm always improving my English much love, Swing. 


	4. Attack of the Earthanoids

AN: This chapter is short and I hate it. I HATE IT SO MUCH! Ooooooh how I hate action scenes…

**Chapter Four- Attack of the Earthanoids**

* * *

" **What's the matter, Zim? Don't they have rain, on your planet?" –Dib (The wettening)**

* * *

They decided to land on the darkening side of the planet to avoid being spotted. Kinn had calculated the coordinates of an area mentioned often in the new information of the database. They stayed clear of the biggest concentration of lights, betraying a medium-sized urban agglomeration. Miik landed them in a park, amongst a patch of dark trees that would hide them easily from curious eyes.

Kinn didn't wait another second to get out, still feeling a little dizzy. Miik's piloting had been erratic to say the least, it was a wonder they hadn't crashed into one of the Earthian's satellites.

Inside the Star Cruiser, said pilot was receiving her due punishment.

'You,' _lick,_ 'impertinent,' _bite,_ 'little,' _grope,_ 'minx.'

'If you weren't such a tease…'

'I beg your pardon?' _scratch_.

'Sorry. If you weren't such a tease, _Captain_…'

'That's better,' _Deeper scratch._

_Moan._ 'You think… she suspects anything?'

'Don't worry, she's oblivious,' _Bite._

_Stronger moan._

Meanwhile, outside…

'I heard _that one,_' grumbled Kinn. 'It's getting harder to play oblivious…'

The scientist was getting restless and kept trying to focus her antennas elsewhere. She didn't want to interfere with the Captain and Pilot's affair, but sidestepping their make-out points was getting more difficult. The sad thing was that they were sure no one knew of it.

Another furry little critter distracter her. Those were funny little creatures, all in tones of brown with soft tails that begged to the transformed into neck accessories. Maybe if she captured one, she could clone it into shades of green and pink and start a new fashion trend on Irk. She took a spider leg out of her Pak and charged it with stunning energy. Aiming, aiming…

'HIIIIIIIII!'

She jumped and missed. The laser shot a tree instead. She turned around and saw a small green puppy waving frantically at her. In its other paw, there was a strange metallic contraption attached to a long green tube that trailed behind him and disappeared into the dark bushes.

'…Hi?' she answered, a little bit unsure. She didn't know Earthian puppies could talk, it wasn't anywhere on the database.

It walked up to her and left the metallic contraption on the ground. She crouched and petted the dog's head. The thing was cute in it's own freakish way. It giggled and licked her hand.

'Ew,' she grumbled. 'Earthian spit.'

'Already fraternizing with the locals, Kinn?' came Miik's mocking voice. 'You remember what almighty Tallest Miyuki said about interspecies relationships, don't you? _"There is nothing wrong with exploring, but Holy Irk, please chose something compatible with our species you freak!"_'

Kinn rolled her eyes. She would have liked to remember the pilot exactly who was having an indecent behavior with their Captain, but said Captain walked up to them and stared at the puppy with narrowed eyes. Kinn made no mention of the pink claw scars marring the back of her head.

'What is this creature?' she asked.

'A talking Earthian dog,' answered Kinn. 'I didn't know they came in that shade of green.'

The puppy smiled at them, waved and suddenly ran away, giggling all the while. Taty opened her mouth, a sudden thought crossing her mind. This wasn't normal animal behavior, this was…

Before she could even formulate a thought, the small metallic device on the floor activated. It started spraying huge amounts of an acidic liquid. Kinn, still crouching, got hit square on the face and started howling in pain.

Taty and Miik got hit too, but not as much. They took a hold of Kinn's arms and pulled her a few feet away. The scientist was screeching, her hands hiding her face from the still falling droplets.

'It was a trap!' growled Taty, hissing from the burns. She took Kinn's cowering form in her arms and ran away, using her spider legs. Miik wanted to follow but got trapped: the device was shouting liquid in another direction now, right in front of her! She growled, covered her antennas with her hands and ran in the opposite direction.

As soon as they were out of the sprinkler's reach, Taty deposited Kinn on the grass and took out a laser gun from her pak. Looking right, left, behind, nothing. Only trees. She took a step back to check on Miik. Her pilot was on the other side of the wet area and was aiming for the sprinkler with her own gun.

'Wait, Miik!' yelled Taty.

Too late. Miik fired and the contraption exploded, drenching the entire area in acid. The three of them howled. Every drop was like fire on their skin. Taty covered her face with both arms and looked around without any acid getting in her eyes. Miik was too far, she couldn't see her. But Kinn, who was right next to her a moment ago, had disappeared.

Summoning all her strength, Taty walked away from the falling acid and drew a breath of relief. Every inch on skin burned, it was horrible. She let herself fall against a tree and hissed from the contact. A spider leg came out from her pak and activated a communication screen. After a second, Miik's burned up face appeared.

'Captain!' she said with relief. 'Are you alright?'

'I am, smeety,' growled Taty. 'You?'

'I will dismember the son of a Vortian who did this, and then I'll rip his head off, and-'

'Glad to see you're okay,' said Taty with a painful smile.

She closed the connection and tried to contact Kinn. The pak beeped once, twice, went dead. Taty tried again, got the same lack of answer. She reestablished the connection with Miik.

'Smeety, I'm going after Kinn, she's not answering.' She didn't like it one bit, but she knew her pilot had a better training and could defend herself. '…Take care,' she muttered.

'Yes my Captain,' answered automatically the pilot. Then, an afterthought: 'Taty, if anything bad happens to you, I'll end you myself,' she growled.

'Is that a promise?' asked the Captain with a wink, before closing the connection.

She started walking, sometimes leaning on the trees to support her weight. Her burns were already starting to heal, but her whole body still felt hot and uncomfortable. Her antennas twitched, they hurt. She had lost a great percentage of sensitivity, it would take a while before getting full perception again.

A scream of pain and terror gave her the strength to start running. No mistake, it was Kinn's incredibly high-pitched screech. She ran until she saw movement ahead, figures running out from the forest and out in the open. She saw Kinn's silhouette, her green skin almost glowing under the moonlight. Behind her was one of these Earthanoids, wearing a long and dark cloak-like clothing. It was catching up to the scientist, carrying a huge gun with both arms. Taty activated her holographic disguise and started running after them.

Dib groaned in frustration. Where did that alien scum go? They had got out of the park, but it had managed to loose him in the adjacent streets. He shifted the weight of his water gun, the thing was HEAVY. Ten gallons of pure liquid alien doom. He smirked. The idea had been his, and Zim had liked it. After being promised he wouldn't be on the receiving end of it.

It was weird working with the ex-invader, but he had to admit they managed well enough under the circumstances. In less than twenty minutes, they had devised a plan, calculated the spaceship landing coordinates, went there with the Voot Cruiser and even got GIR to cooperate. The water gun had been Dib's idea, but the hose and sprinkler had been Zim's, as the alien would be sure to gloat loudly later.

Dib kept his fast pace, eyeing suspiciously every other human that still roamed the streets at this hour.

'I absolutely HAVE to find this alien!' he told himself out loud. 'Zim will never let me hear the end of it if I fail. He's gonna rant and yell and point and make me feel utterly miserable, I just know it. He'll want to break the truce, and I'll be back to nothing, and _man_, something's wrong with me but I _really_ don't want to disappoint him! Where did that come from, anyways? We barely shook hands, I slept the weekend away on his couch – ugly shade of pink by the way – and now I want to become his best friend? What's next, hugs and – hey, why are you looking at me like that?'

He was next to a bus stop, where a handful of people were standing in line. The last one, a girl with orange pigtails, was staring at him with huge nervous eyes. She jumped when he spoke directly to her.

'…Eek! I was… You're talking to yourself out loud, it's scary!' she squeaked.

'No need to worry, it's just a bad habit,' growled Dib. 'I'm not some crazy psycho killer on a rampage…'

'Then why do you have this huge gun?!?' exclaimed the girl, pointing at the Super Soaker with a trembling finger.

Dib raised an eyebrow. The plastic gun was painted flashy yellow and eye-blinding orange. No human would think it could ever be real.

'This?' he asked in a low voice. 'It's just a water gun. You're not afraid of water… are you?' He asked, pointing the end towards the girl's face. She started whimpering. Her holographic eyes displayed very realistic tears.

Dib wasn't moved. He knew the extend of Irken camouflage technology, he had been fooled by it a long time ago. Never again, though.

He took a step forward, opened his mouth, and suddenly crumbled to the floor. Behind him stood Taty in her human disguise, putting back a taser gun in her "backpack".

'Take his feet,' she ordered while taking hold of his arms.

'Where are we going to hide the corpse?' asked Kinn in a nervous voice.

'He's not dead, just knocked out,' growled Taty with impatience. 'Don't make me wait, I hurt everywhere.'

Kinn nodded and took the human's legs. They both lifted him and started walking back towards the woods, away from human eyes, so they would be able to use their spider legs. Speaking about humans, Kinn threw back a look, at the peolple waiting in line. Some of them were watching curiously, but most of them hadn't even noticed the young man being abducted.

'Don't you think it's weird that we just killed one of them in the middle of the street and that they're doing nothing?' she asked the Captain.

'He's NOT dead,' she snapped. 'And why were you standing in the open like that?'

'I was looking for somewhere to hide, and I saw these humans standing in line, and I had this urge to wait besides them. It was a really overwhelming urge, it's rather scary.'

'It wasn't very bright, he found you right away. Maybe it's the disguise…'

'My disguises are perfect!' protested Kinn in a vexed voice. 'I spent hours perfecting them!'

'Yes, I can tell,' mumbled Taty.

She took a look at herself, unsure of the clothing choice. Kinn had chosen a red and black outfit with lots of unnecessary accessories adorned with metallic studs and buckles that looked funny and were practically useless. Her hair was short on the back, with two ferocious bangs over her eyes, reminiscent of her antennas. The scientist had chosen a bright orange ensemble for herself, complete with wiggly pigtails and bunny-shaped backpack. Her human face, with her huge round white eyes, just made her look more clueless.

'I had fun designing your eyebrow thingies,' commented Kinn while taking a better hold of the human legs. 'They give away expressions, so I figured they're like antennas. Yours can now kill with a single glare, aren't you happy, Captain?'

'Rather. Now hurry up before I kill you without something more powerful than a glare.'

Kinn meeped. Yes, the eyebrow thingies were working all right.

'Yes my Captain. We have to hurry before the corpse rots, isn't it?'

'For the last time, he's NOT DEAD!'

The rest of the trip was silent. The human was taller than both of them, but Irken were strong and used to a greater gravity. Walking on this planet was like bouncing on clouds, reflected Kinn with a smile. She would have to study the effects on long-term habitation if they ever wanted to turn this planet into something useful to the Empire.

They had left the Star Cruiser hidden deep within the woods. The dark trees had easily covered the metallic blue ship. They walked to its location, but found a scene far from what they remembered. Half of the trees had been uprooted, the other half seemed burnt. A acrid smell attacked their antennas. They found the Star Cruiser, or rather what was left of it, in a pitiful state. Laser marks could be seen on the once blue paint.

'This is not good,' mumbled Kinn.

She realized that both of them had let the human drop upon seeing the destruction of their ship. A sudden beep called them back to reality: Taty's pak was receiving a call. Bass' preoccupied face appeared on the screen.

'My Captain, we're having some minor troubles over here,' he said calmly.

'How minor?' asked Taty.

'A warrior ship attacked us, we lost the left engine and I've got no choice but to land the Squeaky on the planet.'

'I hate his definition of minor trouble,' muttered Kinn for herself.

'Lock on our coordinates and be alert, we've been attacked on the ground too.'

'Yes, my Captain.'

The connection was cut, and Taty tried to contact Miik.

'By the Tallest, everything is going wrong,' complained Kinn. 'This can't get any worse.'

'…Miik is not responding,' muttered Taty with a horrible feeling in her squeedly-spooch.

'Okay, shutting up now,' added Kinn.


	5. Scientific curiosity

AN: This chapter has to be my favorite. I'd like to personally thank Kinn for being my exposition Irken. Yay plot! I love plot. (Thanks for the nice reviewers that correct my English, you have no idea how much it helps me! I've learned so much since I started this!)

**Chapter Five – Scientific curiosity**

* * *

"**The Dib! He's not there!" -Zim (Weeny Special of Spooky Doomy Doom)**

* * *

Zim was pacing back and forth in the main lab of his base. The place was unnaturally silent, the only sounds were made by his own footsteps, the gentle humming of his computers and the dulled shouting of the prisoner he kept inside a soundproof tube. He thanked the Tallest that the material was unbreakable, because the female Irken he kept inside was screaming profanities at him at the top of her voice, while repeatedly pounding it with fists, feet, and spider legs. Half an hour had gone by and she didn't seem tired or ready to talk like civilized Irken.

He stood in front of the transparent tube and crossed his arms. The female's face was distorted with anger, her claws scratching at the glass. He watched with a morbid fascination her mouth moving into Irken swearing words, her spider legs hitting her prison walls, he watched as she threw herself at the material like a demented hedgehog. He reached a claw towards the console next to the tube. Some buttons read "_Release_", "_Goo: Pink, Purple, Blue_", "_Asphyxiation_", "_Lights: On/Off_" and "_Speakers_". He hesitated over the Goo one, but turned on the speakers instead.

'…GOING TO GIVE YOUR CARCASS TO A SLAUGHTERING RAT PERSON AND WATCH IT EAT THEN SHIT YOU! BASTARD SON OF MEEKROB SPIT AND PLOOKLESIAN ASS! '

Zim cringed. Her screech made his antennas twitch. He advanced a hand towards the console again, not sure if he wanted to turn off the speakers, fill it with goo or empty the air inside. The prisoner saw the hesitation and stopped shouting. She kept glaring with a low growl.

'Thank Irk this is over,' muttered Zim. He then turned towards the prisoner. 'WHO ARE YOU?' he demanded with a pointed claw.

'I'm the one who will kick your green ass to Irk as soon as I get out of here!' she shouted.

'Answer to ZIM or I'll fill this tube with GOO!' he ordered.

The prisoner did a double take. She narrowed her eyes.

'…You're Zim?' she asked suspiciously. 'THE Zim?'

'It is I, I am ZIM!' he yelled with a grand pose. 'It does not surprise me that you've heard of my AMAZINGNESS, Zim is very…'

He stopped mid-rant. The female was laughing madly, holding her sides and pointing at his face.

'What is your problem, female?' growled Zim. 'Zim said nothing funny!'

'Oh, you're even better in real life,' she snorted. 'Every Irken knows you're a running joke, but what they show on the broadcasts does not render justice to your stupidity.'

'What are you babbling about?' he demanded.

She seemed to sober up, her eyes glinting with malicious intent.

'Your reports were broadcasted all over Irk,' she explained. 'Your pitiful attempts to take over this planet were great entertainment, the Tallest themselves used to do commentary while mocking you.'

A week ago, Zim would have denied these revelations, but now he just hissed trough his zipper-like teeth.

'Stop mocking me!' he snapped. 'No one makes fun of ZIM!'

He slammed his fist over the console. The tube rapidly began filling with blue goo. The Irken female started yelling profanities again, until she was completely immersed in the gelatinous substance. It contained enough oxygen to let her breathe, but she couldn't speak or trash around anymore.

'This is better,' growled Zim. 'I will get no answers out of her.'

He resumed his pacing, looking regularly at the monitors showing his front lawn. The Dib had not returned yet. Why was taking the human so long? Why wasn't he back, yet? He'd seen the human chasing another Irken with a water gun, nothing too difficult! The human had spent the last years fighting an Invader, those trespassers should have been easy to take out, they weren't even members of the Irken elite! Even this prisoner was easy to capture, if he didn't count the serious damage she did to his Voot Cruiser with her laser gun and to his poor abused skin with her spider legs. And to his poor antennas with her angry shouting. She may have been crazy with rage at the destruction of her Star Cruiser, but a water balloon in the face and a taser gun were enough to defeat her. No one was a match for the ALMIGHTY ZIM!

A pressed a button on the nearest computer. A screen displayed GIR's goofy face.

'Master, you're on tv!' he squealed.

'GIR!' he snapped. 'I told you to keep an eye for the human! Where is he?'

'I don't knooooooooooow…'

'Focus, GIR! This is important! Where is the Dib-primate?'

'Dib? I like Dib. His head's soooooooooo big! You think he stores marshmallows inside?'

'That wouldn't surprise me,' grumbled the alien. 'Tell me where he is!'

'Inside the shiny ship from space!' answered GIR while frantically waving his hands. 'It came down from the sky with a big CRASH! They were lights everywhere! And then aliens abducted my cow and the they probed me and I don't remember anything, officer!'

Zim narrowed an eye, unsure of what to answer. Was any of this useful of was it mostly dookie? He sighed.

'Where are you now, GIR?'

'I'm talking with mister Squirrel here, he's a really nice chap, we're having tea and crumpets and he wants me to meet his wife and three lovely daughters whom he wishes to marry to an gentleman like myself, that's what he said, yep!'

Zim balled his hands into fists. He had no patience now for his robot's antics! He needed to find the Dib, before the stoo-pid pile of flesh and hair got himself into trouble! If he didn't watch over the boy, he could find him floating in space, in several separate little jars or strapped to a dissection table. Not that the boy didn't look good handcuffed to a metallic dissection table, trashing around in a totally pathetic and defenseless manner, but Irk be damned, Zim wouldn't let him be dissected on any other table than HIS!

* * *

When Dib regained consciousness, he immediately knew he was strapped on a metallic table. His wrists were handcuffed over his head and his feet were solidly attached too. A shiver told him he was not wearing his trench coat or his shirt anymore. That was more unusual, Zim usually kept him clothed. The silence made him frown too, the Invader always checked his vital signs so he could start gloating and ranting as soon as Dib woke up. 

He slowly opened his eyes, the light making them hurt a bit. Everything was blurry, he noticed his glasses were gone. The ceiling was white but he could see a green shape hovering over him.

'…Zim?' he muttered, still feeling groggy. 'I thought we had a truce, you backstabbing bastard!'

'Err…' hesitated a female voice. 'Sorry to disappoint…'

Dib jolted, trying to sit up but just ended up hurting his wrists.

'Who are you?' he shouted. 'Where am I? What did you do to me? Why did you attack me? Why am I handcuffed to a table? And WHY AM I SHIRTLESS?!?'

The green blurry shape moved closer to him and peered at his face. Now that she was closer, he could see two huge round orange eyes blinking at him.

'I am Kinn, scientist of the explorer ship the Squeaky, where we are right now,' she said simply. 'You were knocked out by my Captain because you were about to drench my face in acid. You're in my lab so I can poke and probe and stick needles in you so we can learn about your species. And I had to get rid of your upper clothing so I can poke and probe and stick needles with more efficiency. Happy?'

'NO!' shouted Dib. 'I'm not happy! Release me now, filthy alien scum!'

'I can't really do that,' admitted Kinn. 'See, you're our prisoner, so it wouldn't be very smart to let you go, don't you think? That, and my Captain would really be angry. I don't want to provoke her wrath, she's mad enough as it is…'

'What are you going to do to me?' he asked while trying to cover his fear.

'Oh nothing much, don't worry. We're going to start things smooth and simple by removing that pump thingy in your chest and putting it in a labeled jar…'

'IT'S MY HEART!' he panicked. 'If you take it out, I'll die!'

'Really?' asked Kinn with interest. 'But it seemed so useless on the radiography! I though it was a tumor, to be honest…'

'It's the most important organ in the human body,' growled Dib.

'Human? What's a human?' She asked tilting her head to the side.

Dib stared for a second, speechless. THAT was the scientist who wanted to cut him to pieces?

'I'm human!' he shouted.

'Ooooooh,' she said, understanding. 'That's how you primate bipedal Earthanoids call yourselves.'

'Yes, human,' fumed Dib. 'The people who will never surrender to invaders like you!'

'No need to worry, human, we haven't marked this planet for invasion yet. That will come later.'

'…What? Then, if you're not Irken invaders, how come you're here?'

'And how come you know about the Irken Empire?' she asked with suspicion.

A stubborn silence passed between both of them. Dib tried to focus on her, but without his glasses, he was useless.

'Where are my glasses?' he asked. 'The transparent device I had over my eyes?'

'Your visors? I put them over there for analyzing. This primitive magnifying device is broken, I put them on and got dizzy…'

'That's because they were made exclusively for me,' explained Dib. 'Give them back to me and I'll answer your questions.'

Kinn walked over and came back holding Dib's glasses. She carefully put them on his face, and watched him blink.

'That's better,' he muttered. He focused on the scientist. She was Irken, but looked less like Zim than he expected. She was smaller, had huge round orange eyes and wavy antennas. She was wearing something looking a lot like a lab coat and a pair of protection goggles over the head. Dib gulped when he saw that she was holding a cutting device looking a lot like a scalpel in her gloved hand.

'Now, talk,' she said. 'Who told you about the Irken Empire?'

'One of your Invaders is trying to conquer my planet. I've been fighting him for the past six years.'

'An Invader, you say? But all Invaders are back on Irk, since the end of Operation Impending Doom II, a long time ago…' she said, puzzled. Then, understanding crossed her features: 'Oooooh, you must be talking about Zim, then.'

'Yeah. You know him?'

'Not exactly. He's something of a celebrity, back on my planet. His reports always made for good entertainment.'

Dib frowned. He wasn't surprised that Zim's leaders turned his invasion to a farce, after all it was supposed to be a lie all along. But to know that a whole planet was laughing at his attempts to take over the Earth, it made his own efforts look like a real joke. It hurt.

'So, this planet is being… "invaded" by Zim?' she asked with a raised antenna.

'Yes, until a week ago when your leaders called him.'

'Oh, I saw that broadcast!' she said with a smile. 'It was really funny how he kept trying to gain back their trust, and his broken expression was priceless! You should hear Tallest Purple imitating him, it's hila-'

She stopped upon seeing the dark look on Dib's face.

'I don't see anything funny about it,' he growled.

'…I can show you the recording, I'm sure you'll laugh too…' she tried.

'No, thank you,' he answered with a cold voice.

'But, you're his enemy, right? You said you've been fighting him for years. I thought you would like seeing him defeated.'

Dib turned his head, trying not to look at the scientist.

'We're… not enemies anymore,' he mumbled. He had no idea what that made them, but he knew they weren't trying to kill each other, and that was a good start. 'We made a truce.'

'Sorry, I didn't know he was your friend,' she apologized.

'He's not! He's…'

He stopped. The automatic response left him a sour taste. If Zim wasn't his enemy anymore, what did that make him? The alien had honored the truce so far. They worked well together, they even were able to talk without any death treats getting in the way. They were not exactly the ideal premises for friendship, but Dib didn't knew better, didn't he? It's not like he had anyone else, either.

'Yes, he's my friend,' he said with more conviction. 'And that's why I won't let any of you aliens try to kill him.'

'You would be more impressive if you weren't strapped to my table,' she snorted. 'And what's that about killing Zim? I never said that!'

'Isn't this what you came here for? To eliminate him?'

'Err… no? We're an explorer ship, we didn't even know there was another Irken here! If we had known, we'd have skipped this planet and went to the next one!'

'What? You mean we attacked you for nothing?' he exclaimed.

'Looks like it, human,' she mused. 'There wasn't any need for the acid in the face, you know.'

'Oh. I'm… sorry about that.'

He was surprised to really feel regret. This Irken wasn't so bad, she was able to hold a decent conversation without any ranting, screaming or pointing.

'You better be,' she muttered. 'It hurt a lot. You're lucky we heal fast, or I would have opened you up already.'

She turned around and pressed a button on a hovering screen. Another Irken appeared, this one looking serious and solemn.

'Diplomat Blo?' asked Kinn with surprise. 'Where is Captain Taty?'

The blue-eyed Irken looked at something off screen. Screaming and cursing could be heard trough the speakers.

'Oh, still mad, I see,' said Kinn. 'Just tell her that all this was a huge misunderstanding. The attack was provoked by the wannabe-Invader, Zim, but that's because we're on his planet and he thought we were here to kill him. A good enough reason, if you ask me.'

An antenna-curling scream could be heard trough the speaker and trough the metallic walls of the lab. Kinn and Blo both cringed.

'You can tell her whenever she calms down,' said the scientist. 'I'll go back to poking the Earthanoid, then.'

She cut the transmission and went back to Dib, who was watching curiously.

'This can take a while,' said Kinn.

'What happened?' asked Dib.

'We were attacked with acid, both our ships are damaged and our pilot disappeared,' she answered with a "_well dhu_" tone of voice.

'Oh. I didn't know Zim had made so much damage.'

'His efficiency is going to cost him,' she said. 'Once our Captain gets her hands on him, he's going to regret kidnapping our pilot. And then our pilot is going to beat him up for damaging our ships. I'd be surprised if there was anything left of him afterwards.'

'He'll be okay, I'm not worried,' lied Dib. 'He's a far better warrior than your people give him credit for. I should know.'

'Yes, you did tell me you've been fighting him for years…' she said while narrowing her eyes at his exposed chest.

Dib immediately felt uncomfortable. He was covered in scars, some fading over the years, the most recent ones like deep red lines on his pallid skin. He wasn't used to people seeing this, usually he kept well covered with long-sleeved shirts and his beloved trench coat so no one would ask questions. Not that anyone was interested enough on his well-being to notice. They would probably think he was some idiot emo kid with a stupid habit of hurting himself.

'You're damaged,' commented the scientist while observing the scars. 'I see burns and cuts, this here was damaged by an acidic substance and – by the Tallest, is that a biting mark?'

'Err…' said Dib, looking elsewhere. This was an incident he'd rather not tell.

'…And by Irken teeth, no less,' she commented with an awed voice. 'It seems you've been having fun, young human.'

'What? What do you mean, fun? I've had these during battle, so you know!'

'You're telling me that Zim made you these marks?' she asked with a suspicious raise of antenna.

'Yes! And the bite mark was an accident! I had his arms, legs and spider legs neutralized so he retaliated the only way he could!'

'…By biting you,' she said with an even more suspicious voice.

'…Yes…' he said, knowing how lame it sounded.

'Are you even aware of the implications of this?' she said after a moment.

'Implications?' he asked, puzzled.

She took a deep breath, trying to find courage.

'Tallest help me, why am I the one…?' she muttered. She crossed her arms and tried to find a way to start. 'My people are warriors,' she said. 'We produce the best soldiers in the universe and our smeets learn to fight before they learn to walk. That's what we do. But our fighting techniques revolve around guns, lasers, megadoomers, spaceships, random destruction machines and for closer combat, we have our paks.'

She paused, glanced at the biting mark near his neck and turned away. Dib could swear the green of her face had darkened somehow. Was she… blushing?

'Hand to hand combat is more… uncommon,' she said. 'Using claws, fists and teeth is another way of… What I mean is… It's considered… hem… foreplay,' she muttered.

Dib had to strain his ears to catch the last words, but he understood all right. His mind went blank. What? Foreplay?

'…What do you mean by…' he whispered, too afraid to say the words out loud.

'Pre-mating,' said Kinn, trying to regain her composure.

'It can't be, there has to be an error,' pleaded Dib. 'There is absolutely no way Zim could act that way with me, we're enemies! We're not even of the same species!'

Kinn made a dismissive gesture.

'Inter-species relationships is not really encouraged by my people, but it's not shunned either,' she said, reminding Miik's words earlier. 'I mean, with all the invaded planets at our disposal, it's not surprising some people wanted to experiment a little. I'm sure your people would be very popular among mine, we do seem compatible…'

Dib didn't like her appreciative stare one bit.

'Don't look at me like this,' he pleaded. 'You freak me out.'

'Oh, sorry,' she said. 'I didn't mean to, it's just that I can understand what he finds attractive, you are rather tall…'

'Zim doesn't find me attractive!' he yelled. 'We're enemies!'

'That's not what you said earlier…'

'Stop messing with my head! I'm not attracted to him and never will! I'm not gay!'

'I can see you're not happy, but what does this has to do with anything?' she wondered.

He sighed. Why did he have to explain that kind of things to an alien anyway?

'It's a term we use for... males attracted to other males,' he muttered. 'Or females with females.'

'You actually need a term for that on this planet?' she said.

'Yes, and it's not very accepted either. Not that I think it's shameful, it's just that, I'm not! I've never been attracted to guys, ever!'

_And never been attracted to girls either_, added the treacherous part of his brain. He told it to shut up.

Kinn grabbed one of the hovering screens and analyzed some data.

'The computer says you've almost reached adulthood. You should be experiencing the need to mate, if the humans are anything like the other primitive species of this galaxy.'

'I do!' he grumbled, feeling the need to defend his masculinity to the inquisitive alien. 'I just haven't met the right girl for that!'

Kinn glanced to the numerous screens next to the table. The numbers kept changing and made her smirk.

'Your bodily functions are being processed as we speak. You're agitated. What makes you nervous, human?'

'I'm strapped to a lab table, shirtless, on an spaceship, with an alien wanting to dissect my body and my mind!'

'Don't worry, I don't want to open you anymore. You're way more interesting alive.'

'Then why are you still holding that knife?!?'

Kinn realized that indeed, she still had a firm grip on the cutting device. She left it on a nearby table and crossed her arms.

'Is that better?'

'Somehow,' he mumbled. 'Why do you keep asking stuff?'

'Scientific curiosity,' she answered with a shrug. 'That, and I figure I'm the only one who can teach you that kind of things. And I'm feeling generous.'

He sighed. He was in a bad situation, but he had seen worse. His captor was quite nice, even if her questions arose even worse questions from the neglected part of his mind. It was pleasant to be listened to, for once.

'I don't know what to think anymore,' he muttered. 'This, all this is too messed up. It scares the hell out of me. It's… I'm not into guys! But, I'm not into girls either, is that weird or what? Well, I had a crush on this girl a long time ago, but she was actually an Irken in disguise and I'm really not helping myself here, aren't I? What if I'm really into aliens? What kind of freak would that make me?'

Kinn felt a wave of sympathy over her distressed experiment.

'We'll try to deal with the basics first,' she said with a calculated tone. 'I'm an Irken. Do you find me attractive in any way?'

Dib stared, dumbfounded, and then tried to answer the question. Was she attractive? Maybe, he didn't know. She had green skin, yes, but he was used to it after a while. Same thing for the eyes and antenna. He could see her esthetic beauty (meaning she was not deformed in any freakish way) but she did not appeal to his senses.

'Not at all,' he said bluntly.

'Hey! You could be a little more sensitive,' she grunted. 'Too bad for you, I guess. Now, try to picture Zim in your mind. How do you see him?'

'Annoying,' was the immediate reply. 'Standing on a cafeteria table and shouting at me for whatever reason, in this dumb disguise of his…'

He closed his eyes. That wouldn't do, the disguise changed his perception. The stupid Elvis-like wig hid the antennas and he knew that behind the contacts were eyes of a deep fuchsia that could show pride and cruelty and hate…

He suddenly had a flash of Zim during one or their latest fights. The alien had cornered him with his spider legs against a wall and had started ranting like always. But Dib didn't remember the words, only the furious eyes cutting holes inside his head to pierce his very soul. And the claws digging in his shoulders, drawing blood despite the shirt and the leather trench coat. And the antennas, curling in their fury, begging to be pulled. And the heat coming from his body, so near yet so far, and if he could just grab his waist and pull him closer…

His eyes snapped open.

'Fuck,' he mumbled. 'I'm a freak.'

Kinn was keeping an interested eye on the equipment, noting how the numbers would increase frantically.

'Don't be so harsh,' she said, distractedly. 'Your constitution seems perfectly normal compared to what is said on the database about you, Earthanoids. There is nothing freaky about you.'

'But I'm not gay…' he whined.

'You would think that after jumping the inter-species barrier something as silly as gender would stop mattering,' she commented while taking some notes in her electronic pad.

He rolled his eyes. Now he really felt stupid.

'Okay, we established that I'm a xenophile,' he muttered. 'And that Zim is a pervert. No surprises there. What, now? Do we elope to have disfigured human-irken babies, or what?'

She just looked at him as if he'd sprouted another head.

'Things don't work like that,' she answered bluntly. 'First, you're both male. Although some species do have a way around that, neither Irken nor humans can reproduce without at least a member of each gender. And the most important reason, two members of different species can NOT reproduce! It's a law of nature! Have you ever tried to cross a fish and a moose? Thank the Tallest nothing can come out of it!'

Dib shut up. His sudden fear of bearing alien eggs in his belly sounded so stupid now.

'This is a relief,' he acknowledged. 'But it doesn't solve my problem. What do I do with this… situation?'

'You'd have to talk to him about that,' she conceded. 'But it's not happening as long as you're on my table. And I'm not letting you go until the Captain says so.'

Dib suddenly remembered he was kept prisoner. With all these revelation and epiphanies, he'd manage to forget where he was.

'Is there a chance she lets me go?' he asked.

'Maybe. But it may take a while, she has a nasty temper. And Zim will have to surrender our pilot for that.'

'Great, just great,' he mumbled. 'I'm stuck here until Zim lets go of his hostage and agrees to play nice. How about you start cutting me up now? It'll save us some time.'

Kinn eyed the scalpel on the table, thought for a minute and shrugged.

'I could, but it sounds less fun now. I can always choose another subject to experiment on later.'

'Can you just let me sit, though? This is really embarrassing and my wrists hurt.'

The scientist agreed and tied his wrists in front of him with solid looking handcuffs. These were linked to the table with a chain. He sat on the table, creaking his shoulders.

'This is better,' he conceded.

'Hm hm,' she nodded, a little lost in thought. Now that the human was sitting up, she could fully see how tall he was. He was attractive, if one was into this kind of things. She started walking around the table, watching his scars, trying not to drool too obviously. Yes, she could just imagine the claws that made them, and the teeth, and the clash of green and pallid skin and – what was that?

She was now on the other side of the table and could fully see his back. There were more scars, but something dark at the base of his neck surprised her. A black Irken logo, big like a closed fist, marred the whitish skin.

'Hem, you're aware that you're branded Irken property, right?' she said, trying to stop a snicker.

'WHAT?!?' he snapped.

'I take that as a no, then.'

She touched a couple of buttons on the console next to her and a moment later, a screen displayed a shot of Dib's back for him to see.

'There,' she said simply.

That was the last straw.

'THAT FUCKING ALIEN BASTARD!' he yelled, pulling on his chain. 'I'M GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF NEXT TIME I SEE HIM! I'M GONNA TEAR HIS LIMBS OFF, I'M GONNA BEAT HIM UP INTO A BLOODY PULP, I'M GONNA MASH HIS FUCKING HEAD TO THE GROUND!'

'Someone's going to get luuuucky,' said Kinn in an singsong voice.

Dib immediately shut up, but he was still fuming.

'It's not like that!' he snapped. 'I don't want to be branded like some fucking Irken slave! What was he thinking?!?'

'That mark could mean lots of things,' reasoned the scientist. 'Let me scan its code and I'll tell you.'

She took a glowing handheld device and took a snapshot of the tattoo. Dib looked at the screen displayed in front of him and could see it was not the usual Irken logo he knew from Zim's technology. The circle in the middle was made of concentric irregular and incomplete lines, like a round bar code.

The scanner beeped and Kinn took a look at the screen next to her.

'Holy Irk, we're in trouble,' she whispered.

'What, why?' asked Dib, trying to turn around despite the chain.

'You're… a Kribliss' she said in awe.

* * *

AN : And you still have NO IDEA what Kribliss means :P Don't worry, you'll learn soon enough. Much love, and thanks for the reviews! They're better than hot chocolate in winter:3 


	6. Back off, mine!

AN: I post this so soon after chap 5 because I felt bad about leaving you with a cliffhanger.

**Chapter 6 – "Back off, mine!"**

* * *

"**Dib: Why did you choose me?**

**Meekrob: You're the worthiest, Dib. And no one else had a head large enough to accommodate such power." (Dib's wonderful life of doom)**

* * *

'A Kribliss? What's a Kribliss?' asked Dib, trying to keep up with Kinn, who was practically running in the Squeaky's corridors, pulling on his chain.

'Something that can get us all into humongous trouble,' she answered with a nervous voice. 'Thank the Tallest I didn't cut you open after all.'

'Wait, I don't understand,' he panted. 'What…'

She stopped and sharply turned around.

'Kribliss. It means "Back off, mine!"' she explained in a hurried voice. 'Zim marked you as his Kribliss.'

'But wha…? How could he? We aren't even…'

'It doesn't matter what you are exactly!' she exclaimed. 'You could be his lover, his friend, or in this case, his sworn enemy, all this is secondary! The only thing that matters here is that you are basically his, and no one else's! You're his to mate or to hurt or even to kill!'

She turned around and started jogging again. Dib had a hard time following, she could walk fast for such a small being.

'Marking someone as a Kribliss is an old tradition, very rare nowadays,' she explained while turning a corner. 'It demands an emotional attachment that not a lot or Irkens want to commit to.'

'Emotional attachment?!?' exclaimed an incredulous Dib. 'Yeah right, he just did it so he alone could be the one to kill me and win our stupid fight!'

'The motives do not matter, human,' she repeated. 'Having a Kribliss is a serious business. Zim can kill you, yes, but in the meantime he has to make sure nobody else does!'

'I still don't get what the fuss is all…'

'Holy Irk, you humans are slow!' groaned Kinn. 'That means he protects you from everyone else! And has probably done it for as long as you've had his marking!'

Dib came to an abrupt halt. Kinn felt the chain pulling and faltered.

'What?' she snapped with impatience.

'How old is this tattoo, do you know?' he asked in a small voice.

'The computer said it was made more than five years ago, why?' she said with a "_We don't have time for this!"_ expression.

'…Five years?' he muttered.

It couldn't be. Five years ago, he was still a child. It was the very beginning of their war. It was… It was too much information at the same time! What was Zim thinking? Having messed up kinky sexual fights with him, marking him as his possession, this was too much to take all at once!

'That fucker,' he muttered.

'Don't pass judgment too fast,' warned Kinn. 'Being a Kribliss is the highest mark of respect and recognition you can get from an Irken. It means marking you as his equal. Irken Kribliss are very rare, but extra-Irken ones? Almost nonexistent. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the only one alive right now.'

Dib stared at a wall, unable to meet her orange stare. This was going too fast, he needed more time to process all this. The realization that Zim turned him on was a very troubling one, but he could get his mind around that. He had obsessed over the alien for years and he was a normal healthy teenage boy, no surprises there. But the fuzzy warm feeling that started from his belly to heat his cheeks when he heard about the recognition and respect, that was a reaction he hadn't expected!

'Come on, human, we don't have time for your inner turmoil right now!' said Kinn pulling frantically at the chain.

'What's all the trouble?' wondered Dib, jogging alongside her.

'We captured you, that's the problem,' groaned the scientist. 'He has full rights to attack us, Irken laws are very strict on that. If we defend ourselves, we risk imprisonment.'

'And what if you've had dissected me?'

'He could chop us up directly in front of the Tallest and they would probably help him,' she moaned. 'It's that bad.'

Dib gulped. He wasn't sure on who's side he was at the moment.

A door opened in front of them. They entered the bridge. Dib sighed with relief upon seeing trees trough the windshield. They were still on Earth.

The Captain was hunched behind the pilot's chair, her claws digging inside the headrest material. A low growl was coming from her. Further away, Diplomat Blo was typing at a nearby console and nodded a greeting.

'…Er… Captain?' asked timidly Kinn.

'What?' she snapped.

'I've got some news,' she said, pulling Dib forward.

The Captain turned around and practically hissed upon seeing Dib. He stopped himself from hiding behind the small scientist.

"Do not show fear," he told himself. "This is me without fear. Shirtless and handcuffed on an alien spaceship. Way to go, Dib."

'Why did you bring the Earthanoid?' she hissed towards Kinn.

'…Did Blo give you the message?' she asked with a little panicked voice.

'Yes,' growled Taty. 'I know that both our ships were damaged, that my crew was hurt and that MY PILOT was taken over a simple MISUNDERSTANDING!' she shouted.

Dib felt Kinn hiding behind him. Thanks a lot for the support, he thought sarcastically.

'Now I do hope that your news are going to help us retrieve Miik and accelerate the repairs on the Squeaky,' said the Captain in a menacing tone.

'Hem… Not exactly…' she trailed off. 'I can come back later, if you want, my Captain…'

'TELL. ME. NOW.'

Kinn hesitated, exchanged a look with Blo, who shrugged. Dib was feeling her nervousness and wasn't fearing well himself. The Irken captain was shooting daggers at him. She seemed ready to impale him with her spider legs at any moment.

'ThehumanisZim'sKribliss,' muttered the scientist, hiding further behind Dib.

Taty's eyes narrowed even more. She took a moment to digest the news and let out a deep menacing growl towards the human.

'For my defense, I wasn't aware of it!' he said in a hurry. 'Your scientist told me all of this right now.'

Taty shot him a disgusted look and turned around to regain her initial position by the pilot's chair. She closed her eyes, thinking, while caressing the headrest on an almost loving manner. A moment of silence went by.

'We can work with this,' she muttered finally. 'Blo, open a communication with Zim's base.'

The Diplomat obeyed and stepped back, watching curiously all the while.

The main screen lit up, displaying Zim's very angry face. Dib couldn't help the flutter of relief and something else he'd rather not think about at the moment that went by him.

'YOU!' snapped the Invader. 'You dare attack the almighty ZIM?!?'

'Shut your mouth, food drone!' snapped the Captain. 'You were the one that attacked us!'

'You were trespassing on Zim's planet!'

'The Earth was never yours!' shouted Dib from the back.

All heads turned towards him.

'DIB?!?' shrieked Zim. 'What are you doing on the enemy's ship? What's taking you so long, pitiful human? Hurry up and come back to the base already!'

'You idiot!' snapped Dib. 'I'm being help prisoner here!'

Zim seemed taken aback and noticed the handcuffs and the chain for the first time. He narrowed an eye seeing the naked torso, but snapped back to reality upon realizing something. He turned slowly towards the Captain.

'You have made a enormous error,' he said in a low menacing voice. 'No one takes what is mine.'

'You took something of mine, too,' said Taty in a cold tone.

Zim smirked and changed the camera angle so everyone could see the goo-filled tube behind him. There was Miik, looking very angry but safe nonetheless. Zim pressed a button and the goo emptied out, leaving a wet and pissed off pilot glaring at him.

'I propose an exchange,' said the Captain, relieved to see her pilot intact.

'Their values are not equivalent,' growled Zim.

'I know it,' snapped the Captain. 'But they will be.'

She stood straight, gripping the chair in her gloved hand and staring straight at her pilot all the while.

'Before witnesses, I am marking the Irken Miik, pilot for the Empire, as my Kribliss,' she said solemnly.

All the other Irken present gasped. Dib was having a hard time keeping up. Zim was about to retort something, but was distracted by Miik gesturing frantically at him and pointing the speakers. Curious, he pressed the button to let her speak. She turned around and stared directly at Taty, emotion clear on her face.

'Taty…' she muttered.

The Captain smiled a bit, unsure and nervous about the situation.

'YOU BETTER NOT BE BLUFFING ABOUT THIS!' screeched Miik. 'IF YOU ARE, TALLEST HELP ME I'M GONNA CUT YOU IN SO MANY PIECES THEY'RE GOING TO FIND YOUR RESTS ON EVERY ASTEROID FROM HERE TO BLORCH!'

'I am not bluffing,' replied calmly Taty. 'It is real.'

Miik frowned, then let a snicker escape.

'Then you better get me out of this,' she answered while knocking on the glass tube.

Zim cut off the speakers and turned an angry face towards Dib.

'Dib-beast!' he snapped. 'Here's your time to complain! Have you been damaged in any way?!?'

The teenager saw Kinn's frantic "_NO! SAY NO!_" signs from the corner of his eye.

'Not by anyone else but you, possessive jerk!' he spat.

'Then the exchange may happen,' hissed the Invader. 'Damage of any kind upon my Kribliss will NOT be tolerated,' he said to the Captain.

'Same here,' she answered.

A moment went by, where both of them exchanged a look. Red met fuchsia and an understanding passed between them. Taty nodded and typed something on the computer.

'Meet us at these coordinates, as soon as possible. Do not try to double-cross us,' she said.

'I have no interest in a pathetic enraged female,' he snapped. 'You can keep her.'

'We have no interest on keeping the human, so you will get him back,' answered the Captain.

Kinn pouted and lowered her antennas. She didn't want to surrender her new toy. Even alive, he was still interesting.

The connection was cut and Taty turned around, lost in thought. Kinn took a tentative step forwards.

'…Captain?' she muttered. 'Are you…Was this real?'

'You heard it, didn't you?' she snapped. 'It's not as if one can fake these things.'

She walked out of the room, hissing trough her teeth all the while. Kinn pulled gently on Dib's chain to get him back to her labs.

'What just happened, back there?' he asked.

'Capturing you was like a declaration of war,' answered Kinn. 'The only way of getting out of it unscathed was of accusing him of the same fault.'

'So your Captain made your pilot her Kribliss? Smart move. Why does she seem upset, then?'

'Captain Taty always seems upset,' scoffed the scientist. 'But it's serious, now. Think about it: you humans have a lifespan of what, eighty, ninety earthy years? It's nothing. We Irkens live way longer than that. Imagine a commitment that lasts two or three centuries…'

'Isn't there a way out of it?' wondered Dib.

'No, and that's why it's so rare. Once we mark someone else as a Kribliss, it gets encoded in our paks until our final deactivation. There is no way to fake it or to get rid of it. It's a final commitment.'

This left Dib thinking. The warm, fluttery feeling was back, and it disturbed him greatly. Was he really happy that Zim had taken him as what, his spouse? But Kinn didn't say it had to go both way, and she did precise it could be as enemies as well. Whatever the reasons, this Kribliss business seemed like a great deal to the aliens. Zim had chosen him as his equal and committed himself for maybe the next sixty years to protect him. If he didn't kill him first. But then, he'd made a truce with the Invader, right? They were something along the lines of friends, no? And if not exactly friends, not enemies at least.

'What are you blabbering about, human?' asked Kinn.

He realized he was muttering most of his thoughts out loud.

'I'm just wondering if Zim was aware of all this when he accepted the truce,' he said slowly. 'I mean, okay, he may have marked me earlier as an enemy, but now… we're not even that anymore. He accepted not to kill me. I wonder what it means?'

'It means you got yourself a very psychotic, very possessive, very messed-up, very kinky protector,' snickered Kinn.

* * *

The woods were dark and cold, and Dib had no idea what time it was. Maybe three or four in the morning. A star or two could be seen trough the canopy of leaves, and he thought he'd seen Venus for a moment. Kinn kept pulling at his chain, trying to keep up with her Captain's longer strides and keeping a thigh grip on both the prisoner and his clothing, which she held in her other arm. Behind them, he could hear the subtle _clik-clik_ of spider legs. The small soldier Bass was following them, gun at the ready.

He shivered. The air was colder than he expected. On the ship, it was warm enough that walking around half naked was not that bad, but here it was torture. He would have asked for his shirt back, but he ferocious looking Captain had ordered complete silence, and Kinn seemed strangely reluctant to cover him up.

They had left the huge explorer ship behind them and activated the cloaking device so it was now invisible. Blo was left there, away from the potentially dangerous situation and ready to protect the Squeaky should anything bad happen. He may have been a diplomat, but as an Irken he was trained for combat too.

The Captain stopped upon arriving at an open space. Dib noted that some trees were burnt or uprooted, and he noticed the sprinkler lying further away. The Irkens kept far from it, hidden in the shadows.

Three figures emerged from the other side of the clearing. Zim stepped forward, head held high and fists clenched at his sides. He was followed by GIR, without his costume, and by the smaller pilot who was merrily skipping and wiggling her antennas. She waved at them, giggling.

'…Captain?' muttered Kinn, watching the pilot with suspicion. 'Are you sure he brought us the right one?'

Taty narrowed her eyes. She took a step forward and stopped some distance away from them. Dib was surprised to see that she was smaller than Zim.

'Why is she acting like this?' demanded the Captain, pointing at her giggling pilot.

'Because she's CRAZY!' answered the Invader. 'I tried to restrain her but she kept fighting like a rabid slaughtering rat person! Sedating her was the only way I could make her obey the great ZIM!'

'She broke up the tuuuuube, and the sofaaaaa, and the screeeeeeeen, and the other tuuuuuube, and the chaaaaaaaaaaair, and the –' said GIR.

'Silence GIR!' ordered Zim.

'I hope for you that she's unarmed in any way,' said Taty in a menacing tone. 'You know what would be the consequences.'

'I know our laws, pathetic female!' hissed Zim. 'You broke them by trespassing on Invader's territory!'

'They would apply if you actually were an Invader in the first place,' she spat. 'Our presence here is due to the incompetence of some data entry drones, we never intended to attack you in any way.'

'Then why are you here?!?' he snapped.

'We're an explorer crew under direct orders from the Tallest. We actually are useful to the Empire,' she said with apparent disdain.

'Oooooooh, that was below the belt,' commented GIR while picking up a daisy.

Dib gulped upon seeing Zim's face. The alien was holding inside a rage so strong, his eyes sent shivers down his spine. He had never seen him like this before. Usually, he exploded in a screaming rant and destroyed a couple of things, like Dib's spying gear, but now… He seemed to take a moment or two to swallow his anger, and extended a open hand.

'Give me back my human and get off my planet,' he said in a menacing growl.

Taty made a head sign towards Kinn. The Scientist pouted, but advanced nonetheless, pulling Dib along with her.

'Awkward, awkward, awkward, awkward…' kept muttering Dib under his breath, watching the Invader with nervousness.

At the same moment, Miik was pushed towards her crew. She glomped unceremoniously her Captain and started to rub her face against Taty's.

'Now they're making it reeeaaally difficult for me to play oblivious,' groaned the scientist watching their display with exasperation.

'What are they doing?' asked Dib, his curiosity getting the best of his nerves.

'Irken affection demonstration,' said Kinn under her breath. She pointed at her own face, right where there could have been a nose. 'We press this patch of skin against the other's while rubbing antennas. Shows a very close relationship, like the one they're trying _so hard_ to hide at the moment…'

Dib threw them a glance, contemplating the different customs of their two planets. It reminded him of a kiss, without any kind of contact of the mouth or tongue. If all Irkens were as germaphobic as Zim, it didn't surprise him much. That thought lead him to wondering about the texture of Irken skin, there in the middle of the face. If they did it, it was because it was pleasurable in a way, right? Were all Irkens like that, or did it vary, like the humans? What were Zim's sensitive points? Was he the nuzzling kind? How would it feel to be that close and…

His train of thought was interrupted by Kinn's sharp claw on his side. He turned around and came face to face with Zim. Blood rushed to his face, wondering if the alien could hear him thinking. Oh shit, what if he was talking out loud again? THAT would be pretty awkward…

Zim went up to him, invaded his personal space and peered at his face with one narrowed eye. Dib could feel himself blushing, images of green skin, lips, teeth, claws, visions of past fights that didn't have exactly the same outcome, screams turning into moans and gasps and pleas for more, and oh shit he was staring at Zim's mouth and leaning forward, bad Dib! Bad!

'Did you shoot him with anything?' asked Zim with suspicion to the scientist. 'His skin is not the right color and he's shaking all over.'

'I haven't done anything,' said Kinn with raised antennas. 'Except… talk with him,' she added with a knowing smirk.

Fuck, thought Dib. When Zim talked he could get glimpses of his pink reptilian tongue and couldn't help wondering how it would feel against – WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH ME?!? He screamed inside his head. A little distressed sound came from his throat. Zim gave him a curious look. He opened his mouth to ask something but was interrupted by the Captain walking up to him. She had managed to disentangle herself from her pilot, but said pilot was merrily skipping after her, holding the hem of her uniform shirt.

'I regret this turn of events, Zim,' said the Captain, her bad mood mostly gone. 'I would have liked for things to be different.'

'Yes, yes, it would have been magical,' said Zim with a dismissive hand gesture. 'Now get off my planet!'

'…The Earth is not yours…' managed to reply Dib trough the tsunami of revelations he was currently drowning in. Nobody seemed to acknowledge him, except GIR who hugged his leg while purring.

'We can't, not while our ships are unable to fly,' scoffed Taty while lowering her antennas. 'You completely destroyed our Star Cruiser and the Squeaky lost an engine. It will take us a while to repair, and this is _after_ our pilot gets her senses back.'

'What are you blabbering about?' said Zim. 'The almighty Zim destroyed your smaller ship to itty-bitty pieces, yes, and it was all fun and games for me! You should have seen the destruction I brought to the –'

Dib cleared his throat. The Invader seemed to realize he was rambling again and went back to the main subject.

'…but Zim never attacked your bigger ship. I have nothing to do with its malfunctioning.'

'It was safely orbiting around this planet and it got attacked from nowhere,' groaned Taty. 'I do believe you have something to do with this.'

'Vortian technology, it always breaks up when you least expect it,' shrugged Zim.

'There is a HOLE in the left engine!' snapped Taty.

'You see? If I was the one attacking your puny ship, I would have blown it to pieces! A pathetic little hole is no signature of ZIM!'

'He has a point, there,' added Dib, shaking his leg to get rid of GIR. Didn't work.

'Who else would attack an Irken ship?' asked Taty, crossing her arms.

'Don't know, don't care,' growled the Invader. 'Now hand me back my human.'

'Do I have to let him go?' whined Kinn.

'Do I get any say in this?' whined Dib.

'NO,' snapped Zim and Taty.

Zim extended a hand towards Kinn with little "_Gimme!_" motions. The scientist sighed and went to give him the chain.

Before his clawed hand even touched the metal, the ground exploded.

Dib flew through the air and hit his head against a tree. He fell to the floor, his head aching more than ever. He opened his eyes to see nothing but a flaming inferno around him. The forest was burning. GIR, still clinging to his leg, whistled appreciatively.

'Human! Get up!'

He felt himself being pulled to his feet by the wrists. Kinn was still holding the chain, supported by her spider legs. She pulled with insistence until they got to a safer spot, away from the flames.

'Captain?' she yelled. 'Miik?!? Where are you?'

'Silence!' snapped a voice behind them.

They turned around to find the small soldier, Bass, readying his plasma gun for the fight. His small antennas were held up high, trying to catch any sound. Suddenly:

'DOWN!' he yelled.

Kinn wasted no time, she threw herself at Dib and flattened them both to the ground. GIR was laughing hysterically at this new game. A moment later, the trees around them got cut neatly right where their heads were a second ago. Branches and leaves fell all around them. A pine tree fell onto them, stopped by Kinn's spider legs.

'Return to the ship!' ordered Bass, getting back to his feet next to them.

Kinn pushed the tree aside and started pulling the chain towards safer ground. But Dib didn't follow. He was looking frantically around, desperate to hear shouting, yelling, gloating, anything!

'Human!' insisted Kinn pulling with more strength. 'Get moving!'

'Where is Zim?' he asked with dread. 'I don't hear him!'

'MASTAH!' yelled GIR from Dib's feet. 'MAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTAH! MASTAH!'

The silence was what worried him most. Zim was always screaming something in this kind of situation. A "SILENCE, GIR!" would be enough.

'I think he got hurt by the explosion!' said Dib.

'We won't be in a better condition if we stand around!' insisted Kinn. 'Let's go back to the ship, we'll be safe!'

'I'm not going without Zim!' yelled Dib, pulling on the chain.

Kinn, surprised, let go. She swore in Irken when she saw Dib running towards the flames again, the SIR unit still clinging to him.

'Are all humans that stupid?' she complained aloud before following him.

Dib grabbed the end of the chain in his hand so it wouldn't get caught in the bushes. The more he walked, the more the heat became unbearable. He partially hid his face in his arms and kept advancing. There was nothing to be heard, except the burning wood, the falling branches, GIR humming the doom song and… a low purring, like a motor noise.

He looked around. Nothing.

A bright flash blinded him. He turned his head upwards. A spaceship!

It was somewhat bigger than Zim's Voot Runner, was a brilliant pink and proudly bore an Irken logo on its front. Its front lights were slowly sweeping, as if looking for something. Dib's stomach caught up in a knot. What if those Irken had come to kill Zim? Where was his Invader, anyways?

The ship answered him. A bright light illuminated a lying shape further away.

'MASTAH!' screamed GIR, hugging Dib's leg with so much strength that he cut his blood flood. Dib paid no mind.

He ran towards the shape, ignoring Kinn's frantic pleas to go somewhere safer, ignoring Bass shooting the ship, ignoring Taty's orders to get back, ignoring GIR's insane yelling. Zim was there, barely conscious, eyes half closed, trying to sit up. His Invader uniform was torn and burnt, pink blood covered his face, his antennas were bent at an unnatural angle, his left leg had a huge gash that kept bleeding and bleeding…

'ZIM!' yelled Dib, getting closer. 'Are you all right?'

'…Dib…' muttered the alien with all his strength. 'Get the hell out of here!' he coughed.

'Not without you, you idiot!'

He ran the last steps, got next to Zim, and never saw the electric bolt aiming towards them. Suddenly, he was surrounded by blue sparks, felt himself be pulled, and the last thing he saw before disappearing were Zim's horrified eyes upon him.

* * *

AN: But I never said there would be no cliffhangers here ;P I'm so evil.

Oooooooh I hate action scenes so much, you have no idea how long I procrastinated this when I was writing it. But I kinda like this chapter, the plot is moving forward :)


	7. Kribliss business

AN: Alright, here's the next one, so stop suffering from the cliffhanger :P This one won't be as bad - Oh, before I forget: Kinn's voice is incredibly high-pitched, even more when she panics. You'll need to know this for later :) The words she says in capitals are supposed to make your ears bleed…

**Chapter 7 – Kribliss business**

* * *

**« That's The Massive out there. My people designed most of that thing, so I know how powerful it is... We're gonna die!!! Whose idea was this?! » -Lard Nar (Backseat drivers from beyond the stars)**

* * *

Did felt himself be pulled, atom by atom, away from Zim. A bright blue light, sparkling with energy, filled his senses and brought him… somewhere else. He knew the tingling feeling, even if he never enjoyed it. He was being teleported.

As soon as he felt his body again, he opened his eyes. Metallic walls, metallic floor, buttons, consoles, screens, an illegal amount of pink… He was in the Irken ship. With the canon of a laser gun pointed at his head.

'Shralakh!' spat a menacing voice. 'You're not an Irken!'

'OOOOOH I knows youuuuuuu!' squealed GIR, still clinging to Dib's leg. 'You's Shredder! You's a Hork-Bajir! You's Predator! MUFFINS!'

A huge clawed hand caught Dib's neck and lifted him in a single gesture. He coughed from the strangling and the putrid smell. His captor was an alien, a very tall one, made of muscles and brown scales. It was wearing a thick black armor covered in sharp blades. All that could be see trough the mask was a pair of calculating yellow eyes.

'Let me go!' whimpered Dib with the little air he had left.

'Why did you jump in front of the beaming ray, fleshy?' grunted the alien.

'I didn't know!' groaned Dib. 'I'm really sorry, can you release me now?'

Before the alien could answer anything, an explosion shook the entire ship. He threw Dib to the floor and went back to the pilot chair. Another explosion, bright light seen trough the windshield. The Squeaky crew was leading a mean fight. Dib just hoped they'd think of getting him out before blowing the ship to pieces. He wasn't too sure about it. They were Irkens, after all.

His captor pressed a button and all of Dib's hopes crashed to the floor. They got higher and higher in the sky, away from the shooting range. He knew they wouldn't be able to pursue, both their ships were damaged and Zim was in no shape to drive the Voot Cruiser.

Silently, without attracting the ugly beast's attention, he got to his feet. He looked around, trying to find anything that would spark a brilliant escape idea. Maybe he could get GIR to do… something. Before he got the inspiration for anything, though, the gun was pointed towards him again.

'Don't move,' ordered the beast. 'I'll find something to do with you. You have to be worth something…'

Still aiming at Dib's large head, he pressed a couple of buttons with his claws on the nearest console. A screen came to life and Dib caught his breath. Zim's leaders, the two tall guys, were watching them suspiciously. Well, the red one was being suspicious, the purple one was busy eating a donut.

'What do you want?' asked Red with annoyance. 'It better be important, we Tallest are really busy people, you know?'

'I captured a fleshy from Earth,' groaned the ugly alien.

'Congratulations,' answered sarcastically Red. 'But the contract said we would reward you only for Irkens found on Earth. No Irkens, no monies.'

'This one got in the way,' grunted the alien. 'And he bears your mark on his skin.'

He grabbed Dib by the hair and turned him around. Dib yelped and hissed trough his teeth, trying to pull away. The Tallest peered curiously at the Irken tattoo.

'Hey, it _is_ our mark,' noted Purple.

'You think it's a slave?' wondered Red out loud.

'Whatever it is, it's ours now!' exclaimed Purple with enthusiasm. 'Send him here!'

'Whatever,' shrugged Red. 'We'll give you some monies for that, I suppose. But nothing more until you've brought us Zim's pak with a side of fries!'

Dib's eyes snapped open. So they were the ones behind the attack. No surprises there, he thought grimly. He knew Zim's leaders to be cowards, but to abandon Zim on Earth, crush his hopes, then hire someone to kill him? That was low, even for Irkens.

He felt himself be pulled to his feet, by the hair no less. The bounty hunter threw them into a transparent tube opened at the front. Dib recognized a teleporter and opened his mouth to yell, but his scream and GIR's singing got lost in the darkness of space, their molecules shooting towards the Massive.

'MUMMY!' squealed GIR as soon as he was whole again.

Dib staggered a little bit, still unused to the whole demolecularisation process. He lifted his head and gulped. They were on the Massive's bridge. The Tallest were hovering above him, watching him curiously. At least GIR had finally let go of his leg. The manic robot was now hugging the side of Tallest Purple's face while chanting "mummymummymummymummymummy!"

'Hey, do we know you?' asked Red with a narrowed eye.

'That's Zim's defective SIR unit!' said Purple, trying to get GIR off his face. The robot kept hugging and purring and drooling a little bit too.

'Yes, I remember, now!' exclaimed Red, snapping his two fingers. 'You're the big-headed human smeet that danced for us!'

'…Can we not talk about this?' whined Dib, blushing. 'It's embarrassing…'

'But it was so entertaining!' applauded Purple while opening GIR's head to pull a wire. The robot's eyes blackened instantly and everyone present sighed in relief.

Tallest Red approached Dib, antennas lowered. The human didn't dare move a muscle, he knew that anything could provoke the Tallest's wrath and get him shot or thrown into space. Red peered at the tattoo and motioned to a drone. A moment later, a scanner was displaying the meaning of the bar code.

'Holy Mother of Irk,' muttered Red seeing the results. 'What was Zim _thinking_?!?'

'What?' asked Purple, munching on another donut.

'He made this pathetic fleshy thing his Kribliss! How lame is that?'

'Nah, seriously? Well, I suppose this puny thing can be Zim's equal, they deserve each other's pathetic-ness…'

Dib frowned. When Kinn had explained the whole Kribliss business to him, he felt proud to be Zim's equal, because the Invader was strong and dangerous. But now, hearing the Tallest mock them both sent a wave of indignation trough him.

'Hey, that's just mean!' he snapped. 'Who do you think you are, treating him- I mean, us, err, me, like that?'

Both Tallest narrowed their eyes at him. Purple's donut stopped mid-way to his mouth.

'We are the rulers of the strongest fleet of the universe,' answered Red in a cold voice. 'And you are nothing but a measly puny fleshy human, owned by a dysfunctional psychotic interstellar joke.'

'Yeah!' added Purple.

'You will learn to show some respect, _human,'_ hissed Red.

He made a finger sign, and Dib felt a train slamming into his head. He fell forward on his knees, seeing stars. Two Irken soldiers towered above him and started hitting his already sensitive stomach with their pointy boots. This was made worse by the beating he received from Torque's gang a couple of days ago. He bit his lower lip to stop himself from shouting.

After a long moment, they stopped at Red's command. Dib was left on the floor, coughing blood and whimpering.

'Throw him in a cell,' ordered Red to the soldiers.

'But Reeeeeeed!' whined Purple. 'This thing his Zim's Kribliiiiiiss! It means that Zim will come HERE to get it back! He's gonna destroy EVERYTHING again! I don't want him here, nononononononoooo! Throw the human into space instead!'

Red grabbed his flailing arms and approached his face.

'That's exactly what I want, Pur,' he muttered. 'Don't you trust me?'

Purple pouted, but lowered his antennas in submission.

'Yeah, okay,' he said grudgingly. 'But you'll have to keep him far from our quarters! And the snack storage! And the weaponry! And –'

'Don't worry, Kribliss mine,' muttered Red. 'Everything will go smoothly, and soon there will not be a Zim to worry about anymore…'

His evil grin was matched by Purple's. They both turned back to the human, looking at him with identical diabolical expressions.

'Take the human to the holding cells in area four,' ordered Red. 'Await further instructions.'

'Yes, my Tallest!' saluted the soldiers.

They took Dib's chain and pulled him towards the innards of the Massive.

* * *

The rising sun gave a weird glow to the metallic paint of the Squeaky. Kinn wandered outside, looking for her Captain. She found Miik instead, or rather her bottom half. Her head and torso were deep inside the huge gash made on the left engine. 

'Miik?' asked Kinn from the ground. 'Have you seen the Captain?'

The pilot extracted herself from the ship and made a face. The drugs effects were gone, leaving only an angry pilot with a bad headache instead.

'How would I know?' she growled. 'She's been avoiding me since I came back to normal.'

There was the usual grumpiness in her voice, but also a great deal of resentment.

'…Maybe it's because of this Kribliss business…' offered Kinn.

'No, you think?' asked sarcastically Miik with an angry swipe of her tool.

'No need to take it out on me, I'm not the one having commitment issues,' grumbled Kinn.

'Commitment issues?' screeched Miik. 'She should have thought about that BEFORE marking me, didn't she? Or did she just find convenient that she could escape a confrontation, using me?!?'

'I was not using you,' came a cold voice from behind them both.

They turned around to find their Captain, arms crossed and sharp antennas lowered angrily in front of her eyes.

'Then why are you avoiding me?' snapped Miik, jumping to the ground on the other side of Kinn.

'I have been experiencing difficulties comprehending the full impact of my decision,' said curtly the Captain.

'Please, spare your smooth talking for someone who cares, Taty!' spat Miik. 'What is there to "comprehend" besides what we had all along, anyways?'

Kinn, caught between the two, her head swapping back and forth, had trouble playing dumb. She sighed with exasperation.

'Look, can we drop the charade before I go insane?' she pleaded them. 'I know about your relationship, everyone on the ship knows. So you can yell at each other all you want, now. Happy?'

Miik seemed more than ready to obey, but Taty lifted a hand.

'There's no need for arguing. I just need some time to think.'

'What is there to think about?' snapped Miik. 'I though all was clear!'

'That's what I thought too. But now, I'm not so sure anymore.'

The Pilot seemed to froze, her whole body, from claws to antennas, tensed. After a beat, she turned to Kinn with a fake and dangerous smile.

'I have no idea what you are talking about, Kinn,' she said in a sweet voice that didn't suit her. 'There is absolutely no relationship between me and the Captain.'

She turned around, head held high, and went back to repair the ship with a renewed fury. Kinn watcher her go, feeling the need to be anywhere but there. Blorch seemed nicer, suddenly.

Taty motioned to the scientist and they both entered the ship. The Captain seemed tense but made no comment about the previous scene.

'How is Zim?' she asked with professionalism.

'Recovering, finally,' answered Kinn with a relieved sigh. 'I had to sedate him with the strongest drug I had so he would stop trashing around long enough for his wounds to heal.'

They arrived at the medical area, where they found Zim, curled on a cot, holding Dib's trench coat and wailing like a kicked puppy. It was rather pathetic.

'…What exactly did you give him?' wondered Taty.

'The same thing he gave to Miik earlier,' explained Kinn. 'It eliminates anger in all its forms, so the subject becomes more docile. It really gives an interesting insight about someone's personality. Like, for Miik, we could see she's a truly affectionate… nuzzling… person. And Zim here is in fact…'

'DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB! I miss hiiiiiiiiiiiim! I'm sorry I couldn't save hiiiiiiiiiim! And now he's gooooooone and I never got to tell him that I don't really hate his huge ugly head! I'm sorryyyyyyy!'

'…a whiny crybaby' completed Kinn, covering her antennas.

They left him to his despair and called the entire crew on the bridge. Miik kept avoiding their eyes, growling under her breath, but said nothing more. Taty stood before them, hands behind her back.

'Bass,' she called. The small soldier stood to attention. 'Any information on the attacker?'

'It was using an Irken ship, Captain,' he answered with distaste. 'But visual trough the windshield confirmed his species to be Glagoarth. There is absolutely no information on the database about a stolen Irken ship. He was orbiting around Earth until ten minutes ago, and his now heading towards the Damogran system.'

'Good. Kinn?'

The scientist perked her antennas, a huge smile gracing her face.

'Is there any way to retrace the human's position?'

'Oh yeah, done it already!' she said happily. 'I used the coordinates of Zim's SIR unit to locate him. Both of them were teleported to another ship earlier today.'

'What ship?'

'The Massive.'

Taty narrowed her eyes at this new information.

'This is not good,' she muttered to herself. 'Because we will have to infiltrate the Massive, then.'

'What? Wait! No! Is it too late to change my answer?' stammered Kinn.

Diplomat Blo raised his antennas, waiting for the Captain to continue.

'The laws are strict on that,' said Taty. 'We are bound to Zim until he gets his Kribliss back. And we got attacked before we could surrender the human.'

'Wait, you mean that if I had a second more to put the chain in his hand, we would be free to go?' asked Kinn with unease.

'Exactly,' said the Captain. 'But now Irken laws clearly state that we have to make everything in our power to get the Kribliss. Even infiltrate the Massive.'

A tension could be felt trough the crew. Kinn whimpered out loud, her whole body shaking with fear.

'But Captain! This is dangerous! This could get all of us dead!' she said.

'This is why I'm giving you all the chance to step back,' explained calmly Taty. 'You have the choice, Kinn.'

'Choice?!?' she strangled herself with the word. 'Please, please, don't give me choices! Last time I had one, it was when the Control Brains asked me to choose between red, purple or pink for my synthetic eyes! I panicked! You know what I said? ORANGE! What kind of eye color is that? I spent all my training years getting kicked by the other smeets!'

'Yes, I know, I was there,' muttered Taty. 'But calm down and listen. The laws only bind the ship and its crew. Anyone wishing out of this only has to quit, it will not be held against them in any way. You could do this, Kinn.'

'…You're kicking me out?!?' she wailed in a high pitched voice.

Taty groaned. There was just no talking to her scientist.

At that moment, the sliding doors opened and Zim stepped in, brow furrowed and antennas lowered. Kinn approached him and started running a hand held medical scanner over him, muttering under her breath.

'Zim,' greeted Taty with a nod. 'I trust you are feeling better?'

'I feel like a Megadoomer stepped on my head,' he whined. 'Or if I had been eating GIR's cooking. I want to curl up in a corner and diiiie…'

'The drugs effects are almost gone,' explained Kinn. 'The headache will lessen in a couple of hours, but at least you're not cry– I mean – wounded anymore!'

He pouted and turned to the Captain, crossing his arms.

'The Dib,' he simply said. 'I want it back.'

'We have no choice but to help you,' sighed Taty. 'The whole crew is under your leadership until the human is safely in your possession again.'

A creepy smile illuminated Zim's face, showing his zipper teeth in a dangerous way. His antennas popped up at the idea of giving orders to an entire crew.

'Do not uselessly endanger my crew's safety,' warned Taty. 'I would find a way to make you pay, no matter how many laws I'd be breaking.'

'Zim will take care of his new tools,' he promised with a smirk. 'Now tell Zim what you know!'

'It's bad,' warned Kinn under her breath.

'Your human was last detected on the Massive,' explained the Captain.

Zim's face showed no apparent emotion, but inside, he was shaking. The Massive? But that was where the Almighty Tallest were! Why would they want his human, after all they had already done? He thought they didn't care for the Earth or the humans or his mission! They had cut him off, forbidding to ever call them again, and let him to rot on that dirty planet… He didn't know if he had the strength to face them again. But he had no other choice but get the Dib back, no matter the costs, right? It was something he'd already decided years ago…

He stayed silent for a moment, devising a plan. The last remains of the drugs kept the rage at bay, helping him focus. There would be a time for rampage and destruction, but not now. Careful planning was necessary for a stealthy infiltration.

'Zim has an amazing plan!' he announced with a grin. 'You!' he said, pointing to Taty. 'You will play dead so the Almighty Zim can contact the Tallest and pretend to drop you off so he can enter the Massive with permission!'

'Not bad,' acknowledged Taty. 'Just the two of us should be enough, we don't need to attract unwanted attention.'

'But, but… my Captain!' interrupted Kinn. 'We want to help too!'

'Zim had another mission for you!' said the Invader. 'You will go to these coordinates and fetch the mighty warrior that lives there!'

He told her a series of numbers and Irken letters. Kinn sent her Captain a worried glance, but the Captain just nodded her assent. The scientist activated her hologram and left the ship, really unsure about the whole situation.

'The rest of you shall await further instructions,' ordered Taty.

'My Captain?' asked Miik in a neutral voice. 'Can I speak to you in private?'

Taty nodded after a short hesitation. She left Zim to plan the rest of the rescue mission with Blo and Bass and lead Miik to her quarters. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Miik advanced.

'Don't leave me out of this,' she warned.

'You will stay on Earth and await our return,' said Taty in a stern voice. 'I refuse to endanger you.'

'What, because now I'm your Kribliss?!?' she snapped.

'Exactly! It is my duty to protect you!'

The pilot stroke in anger. Taty stepped back, three deep pink gashes marring her cheek. She pressed a hand against it and turned back to Miik, her eyes burning with anger and anticipation.

'I do not need protection,' hissed Miik.

'I can see that,' growled Taty. 'Why did you strike?'

'We're in your quarters,' answered the pilot with a smirk. 'Anything goes. You told me so yourself.'

'I know that,' snapped the Captain. 'I meant why did you start this if you don't want anything to do with me anymore?'

'You need to look beaten up for your mission, don't you? I can take care of that,' she said, cracking her knuckles with a cruel smirk.

She wasn't surprised to see Taty's spider legs pin her to the wall.

'You know I never surrender easily,' answered Taty with a hungry stare.

On the bridge, Zim lifted an antenna at hearing fighting and destruction somewhere else in the ship. Blo gave it a wave of dismissal and went back to peer over the Massive's blueprints.

Some time later, the Captain came back. She was limping, had bruises and gashes all over her skin, teeth marks showing under the collar of her ripped uniform, and a most satisfied smile. Miik followed her, a smug expression gracing her features.

'…are you alright?' asked Zim with a narrowed eye.

'Never been better,' smiled Taty. 'Ready when you are, Zim.'

At that, the Invader smiled evilly.

'Establish a connection with the Almighty Tallest,' he ordered.

* * *

Kinn rang the doorbell and waited, twirling an antenna disguised as a pigtail around a finger. She had triple checked the coordinates Zim had given her, and was wondering what kind of mighty warrior she would meet inside. At the look of the house, it would be a human, but what kind of human could help them infiltrate the Massive? 

The door opened suddenly and Kinn couldn't help but let a shriek of pure terror past her lips. In front of her was a young human female with purple hair and dark clothing, her angry eyes piercing a hole into Kinn's soul. The Irken whimpered at the aura of pure doom and gloom she could feel around the girl.

'I'm sorry!' she said hurriedly. 'I won't do it again!'

'…What are you talking about?' growled the human.

'I… I don't know,' admitted Kinn in a small voice. 'But I felt as if I should be apologizing for something…'

Gaz looked at the small girl on the doorstep. She was dressed in colors way too bright to be legal and had huge round eyes that gave her a stupid look. The representation of all that Gaz hated, bothering her way too early on a Monday morning. She growled. The girl whimpered, small tears pooling in her eyes.

'Why are you bothering me?' asked Gaz in a menacing tone.

'I… I was sent here by Zim,' she admitted with a tentative smile, thinking the human would understand. She thought wrong. The door slammed on her face.

'Wait!' she shrieked in panic. 'Listen, human girl! He said I would find here a mighty warrior who could help us rescue the Dib!'

The door opened slowly, Gaz' menacing eye peering at the girl.

'Where. Is. My. Brother.' She hissed.

'He… he… you have to understand! He and Zim attacked us, so we thought they were the enemy and we managed to capture the Dib-human, and I wanted to dissect him but it turns out he's really nice for a primitive species and –'

'I don't care about all this!' snapped Gaz, grabbing her by the collar. 'WHERE IS DIB?!?'

Kinn whimpered and closed her eyes, waiting for her neck to be snapped. When nothing came, she gulped and whispered:

'On the Massive. The most powerful ship of the Irken fleet.'

Gaz let her down, a small manic smile growing on her face. Her eyes came alight with challenge. Kinn, after letting out a relieved sigh, tried again:

'You have to help us, mighty warrior!' she begged. 'We are up against impossible odds, we need all the help we can get!'

'I won't be going with you,' said Gaz in a dark but somewhat smoother voice. 'The new Game Slave video game comes out today, I'm getting it after class.'

'You'd rather buy a videogame than help save your sibling-unit?' asked Kinn with a lifted holographic eyebrow.

Gaz growled again.

'…I'm sure it is a very good videogame!' muttered the scientist with a small smile.

'It is,' grunted Gaz.

'But… but, mighty warrior, we need your strength to achieve this impossible task!' she pleaded.

Something in the alien's begging and submissive stance, and how she called her Mighty Warrior with reverence and respect somewhat mollified Gaz a little bit. She thought for a second, went inside the house and came back, holding something. She threw it at the alien's feet with a smirk.

'I can let you borrow this,' she smirked. 'Work with that, girly.'

She shut the door on her face again and went back to eat breakfast.

Kinn looked at the broken metallic device on the floor, calculating the damage with a groan. The thing could be useful, but had to be drastically updated and repaired on many levels. This would take forever.

With a unhappy groan, she lifted the thing on her back and started walking back to the ship.

* * *

AN: Teehee! I managed to insert some RAPR! XD I mean, if marking someone as a Kribliss is making them your equal, of course the Tallest are going to be each other's Kribliss! 

Thanks for the reviews, btw, they convince me to continue the corrections and posting :D


	8. Holding cells that hold no one

AN: In my haste of posting the last chapter, I forgot to give credit for some of the references I used. (that's what it's called, kitty00240, reference. Not stealing.) So, the Hork-Bajirs are from the Animorphs series owned by Scholastic and K.A.Applegate, Shredder is from the Teenage Mutant NinjaTurtles, owned by, huh... someone else, and Predator belongs to the movie with the same name, owned by I have no idea who.

**Chapter 8 - Holding cells that hold no one **

* * *

"**Dib: Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?**

**Zim: Let's run screaming." (Bolognus Maximus)**

* * *

The Massive's bridge was bustling with activity, as usual. The Almighty Tallest were hovering above the smaller crew, watching the procedures with bored expressions. Purple reread for the third time the data screen he was holding, unable to remember any of it. Red smirked upon seeing his antennas twisting with nervousness.

'Worried?' he asked with a small smirk.

'Aren't you?' asked Purple with a grimace. 'From what we know, Zim is probably on his way, ready to destroy us and everything we hold dear!'

'This is Zim we're talking about, he worships the ground we hover on,' tried to rationalize Red.

'I know that! But he could blow up the Massive by accident only by using the food heater!'

'All troops are ready for this, there is no way he can escape his fate,' said Red. 'Captured, judged and executed by the Control Brains, and then he'll only be a bad memory in Irk's collective database. I'll see if there's a way I can erase him from it too.'

Purple smirked, his mood perking up.

'Incoming transmission from Earth, my Tallest,' said a communication drone.

'Wait, didn't we block Zim's frequency?' asked Purple with a raised antenna.

'It's from the Squeaky, sirs.'

'Put it on,' ordered Red with a suspicious frown.

At Purple's horrified shriek, Zim's face appeared on the main screen. He looked serious and concerned.

'My Tallest,' he greeted.

'Zim, we ordered you to never contact us again,' said Red with venom.

'I know, my Tallest, but this is an emergency,' said Zim.

'…What are you doing on the Squeaky?' asked Purple.

'It crash-landed on my planet, showing evident signs of an enemy attack,' he replied. 'I found no-one inside except the captain.'

He pointed the camera behind him, where Taty could be seen laying on the metallic floor, unconscious. She looked beat-up within an inch of her life.

'Her pak was damaged and won't help her recover fast enough,' said Zim, replacing the camera on him. 'The ship's computer is offline and my base doesn't have the technology to revive her.'

Red and Purple exchanged a glance. This could be an elaborate ruse, but also the work of the bounty hunter they hired to exterminate all the Irkens he would find on Earth.

'What do we do?' whispered Purple. 'Taty's with him.'

'She could very well be on his side,' muttered Red. 'We won't know unless we get them both in here.'

Purple turned to the screen once again.

'We'll open the teleporters so you can bring her here,' he said hiding his shudder of fear.

'Thank you, my Tallest. Invader Zim, signing off.'

They both grimaced upon hearing the title. As soon as the computer screen blackened, Purple turned towards the waiting crew.

'THIS IS A PINK ALERT!' he yelled. 'Everyone at their posts, reinforce security, wake up the surveillance drones, hide the snacks and the heavy weaponry! ZIM IS ON HIS WAY!'

'You heard your Tallest, now get moving!' snapped Red while powering up the strength of his armor. 'I want the main screen displaying Zim's position at all time, the second he zaps in!'

The teleportation room appeared on the main screen, empty if one didn't count the drones typing on the numerous glowing consoles. A beeping sound announced an incoming teleportation.

A bright light illuminated the scene and Zim appeared in the large glass tube, holding the smaller Captain. He got out, not noticing when her head bumped on the glass.

'She need medical attention!' he snapped to the tiny drones.

They took out a metallic stretcher and placed her unmoving body on it, scurrying off. Zim followed them at a distance for a moment, then turned abruptly a corner. The Tallest watched his progress and ordered to see Taty's position at the same time, on a different screen.

The Squeaky's Captain acted first.

They saw her jump from the stretcher and stun the drones with her spider legs. She started to run on her injured leg on the opposite direction taken by Zim. Red frowned with distaste. The Captain was less loyal than they expected. He made a sign to a nearby Irken, who gave an order to his communicator.

Two seconds later, Taty's way got blocked by a dozen soldiers, guns at the ready. She tried to fight them and was rather good at it, but the numbers were against her. She got shocked by a stunning ray and limped to the floor, panting. A screen displaying Red's angry face was placed in front of her.

'My… my Tallest!' she gasped.

'I'm sad to see you chose the wrong path,' he said. 'You had potential.'

'But I had no other choice!' she pleaded. 'You have to understand, the human you have in your possession…'

'I shall hear no more from your traitorous mouth,' interrupted Red. 'Put her in a cell.'

She got stunned unconscious and fell limp in the soldier's arms.

* * *

Dib was curled up in a corner of his own cell, shivering from the cold. He wanted to get out of this nightmare, he wanted medical attention, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to eat, he wanted out of these handcuffs but most than anything, he wanted his shirt back!

He tried to sit up, but his wounds still hurt. Hours had gone by and no one had bothered to check on him. He knew he was starting a fever, because he must have been delirious to miss Zim!

But the silence only gave him his own thoughts to listen too, and now that they were being acknowledged, they didn't want to be pushed in the pit of denial again. He closed his eyes and groaned, trying to forget the empty feeling in his gut at remembering the panicked eyes of the alien while he was being teleported away. But the more he tried to think of something else, the more he was confronted by appealing green skin and red eyes and sharp claws and manic smirk and…

He sighed. He was in trouble.

In a way, he was not really surprised by these revelations. The confused feelings turning his organs upside-down felt way too familiar for his liking. Zim had, after all, always occupied a large part of his active thoughts, it was against his very own nature to stop thinking about the Invader. But to think of him like that, not as an enemy or a threat, but as a friend or even the smallest possibility of something so wrong but oh so enticing…

He closed his eyes and let his thoughts wander freely, not stopping them for once. He got assaulted by flashes of past fights and arguments where he could remember a burning inside of him. At the time he had mistook it for loathing, but now, the more he thought about it, the more he felt uncomfortable. This was not loathing. This was frustration, yearning, wanting to do unspeakable and forbidden acts on his arch nemesis, thoughts that got immediately sent to the locked part of his mind by fear of going insane. The worst part was that this longing was no recent affair! It had been present for years, slowly mutating from his first frustration that the only alien he knew was an evil one. He'd always wanted an alien friend as a child, it wasn't really surprising to want an alien lover as a teenager, wasn't it? He laughed self-depreciatively.

The lust, he could handle. But this constant worry nagging at him was slowly driving him crazy. Was Zim alright? The last time he'd seen him, he was badly hurt. Were there more attackers? Had the Squeaky crew managed to get him back to safety? Did they want to bring him to safety? He knew most Irkens despised Zim, maybe they just let him rot, or worse, they killed him while he was unable to defend himself, so they could get on their leader's good graces! He frowned. If that was the case, he would have fun dismantling their ship piece by piece and exposing THEM to the Earth authorities. He would just make sure to keep one of them to dissect, so he could really see what alien guts looked like without having to use Zim.

An explosion made him jump. Panicked yells could be heard through the ship's corridors. Lasers shooting, bodies falling to the floor, footsteps running towards his cell. Then Zim was there, in all his Invader glory, smoking laser gun in hand, psychotic grin on his face.

'That was FUN!' he chirped.

'ZIM!' exclaimed Dib, getting back on his feet. 'You… you're alright!'

'Of course I am, Dib-human,' he scoffed. 'A pitiful explosion like that is no sufficient to stop the amazingness that is ZIM!'

Dib grinned with relief despite himself. His stomach buzzed with annoying butterflies at the knowledge that Zim had actually come to rescue him. He wanted to do nothing more than hug the Invader to death, but was stopped by the electrical bars of his cage. Zim was already working on disabling them, so he waited by leaning on the nearest wall, watching him trough half-lidded eyes. He had gotten to his feet too fast and was feeling dizzy.

'…I can't believe you came to get me,' he muttered over the buzzing of the tool Zim was using.

The Invader grumbled something under his breath, concentrating on the lock.

'I didn't catch that,' said Dib with a frown.

Zim lifted his head and was about to reply, but saw Dib's sorry state.

'You look miserable,' he commented without an inch of compassion.

'Yeah, well, you'd look like that too if you were beaten up,' he grunted, placing his hands on his bruised belly.

Zim hissed trough his teeth and ended up opening the lock with a laser shot. The box exploded, as well as a portion of the wall behind it. Dib shrieked and fell backwards.

'Hurry, Dib-stink,' he ordered, entering the cell.

He saw the human struggling to get to his feet, so he caught him by the chain and lifted him easily. He passed a hand around his waist and started walking away, helping him stand. Dib couldn't stop the flush invading his face from the contact against his exposed skin.

'…Zim?' he muttered, trying to concentrate on the escaping instead of the claws lightly brushing his side. 'Why did you… do this?'

'Zim honors the truce,' grunted the Invader, peering around a corner. The corridor was desert, thank Irk.

'I'm not talking about… okay, maybe I am… but… I don't…' he trailed off.

'Stop babbling and walk,' ordered Zim, pulling him along.

'Why did you make me your Kribliss?' blurted out Dib.

The alien stopped and turned sharply.

'How much do you know about this?!?' he asked with anger and panic fighting in his eyes.

'Enough,' he answered. 'Just tell me.'

Zim narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment. Then, he seemed to remember where they were and started jogging, still pulling Dib along.

'We have no time for this,' grunted the Invader. 'Ask your stoo-pid questions later, when we are safe back on your filthy planet.'

'Will you tell me, then?'

'Zim promises nothing,' was the cold answer.

Instead, he took out a communication screen and tried to contact Taty. After some beeping, he put it back in his pak with a frown.

'The female does not answer,' he spat. 'We will have to get back to Earth without her.'

Dib didn't have time to ask who he was talking about. They stopped in front of the teleporting room. Zim took out his laser gun and blasted it open. He was about to enter, pulling Dib with him, but they both stopped upon hearing the click of many guns being powered up. The teleportation room was full of soldiers ready to strike.

'You know, there was no need to blow up our ship,' commented a dark voice behind them. 'The door was open.'

They both turned around and came face to face with both angry Tallest, surrounded by too many soldiers to fight. Dib felt Zim freeze up besides him and couldn't help a twinge of fear seeing his antennas lower submissively. The comforting arm around his waist lowered.

'My… my Tallest…' muttered Zim.

His words were met by two cruel smiles.

* * *

Taty glared at the two Irken soldiers posted next to her cell. They were ignoring the taller female Captain, pointing their guns to both sides of the corridor, in case of a rescue attempt. She had tried to get her weapons out of her pak, but they had disabled the opening command while she was unconscious. The only thing it could now do was maintain her vital functions running, and even that was not enough. She had to slow down the repair mechanisms earlier so her wounds would last longer, but now she couldn't get it back to normal. She still hurt everywhere and was crankier than usual.

She opened her mouth, ready to let out her anger at the two lower ranking Irkens, but was surprised by the lights and the electrical bars of her cell go out suddenly. Before she could react, two laser shots illuminated the scene for a second and two bodies hitting the floor were heard. Some heavy steps running towards her. She took a defensive stance, antennas held high to hear anything in the complete darkness.

Light appeared suddenly, coming from a luminous white orb held by an Irken. She was surprised to see Kinn's face, her huge orange eyes watching her with seriousness.

Taty jumped to the floor, took a soldier's fallen gun and pointed it to the scientist's face in one smooth move.

'Who are you?' she asked in a menacing voice.

'…That was fast, Captain,' answered the small Irken with a male voice. 'How did you know?'

'Your footsteps were too heavy,' grunted the Captain. 'That, and she would have panicked already.'

'Hey, I resent that remark!' complained the male voice with a whiny edge.

The hologram displaying Kinn buzzed off, letting a tall and gangly human teenager wearing a black trench coat take its place. Taty frowned, unsure.

'What is the meaning of this?' she asked, still keeping her gun pointed to his head.

'It's the Dib-bot!' chirped the android with a happy smile on Dib's face. 'The Mighty Warrior was in fact the Dib's sibling-unit, a reaaaaally scary human if you ask me. She let me borrow this robot but I had to repair it before zapping him here. I was lucky the teleportation room was still functioning, no one noticed me in! In fact, it's not really me, I'm still on the Squeaky, but I teleported the bot, and as he has no life signature and no pak, he doesn't register on the database, isn't it neat? I had to cut off the power in the entire wing to get to your cell, Captain, so we really shouldn't linger too long…'

Taty nodded and walked out of the prison area. The Dib-bot followed, after activating Kinn's hologram once again.

'What took you so long?' asked the Captain with a sarcastic smile Kinn missed completely.

'Hey, it was not easy!' she said in Dib's voice. 'I had to completely redo the bot's structure to make him taller and older, because the last version was in need of a serious update! It was also full of glitches, I had to repair all his main circuitry and modify his voice patterns to fit the human, did you know they drastically change voices at a certain age? I also had to take out the frilly apron it was wearing and clothe him with the clothes the real Dib-human left behind! I had so much to update, it took me more than an hour!'

'Kinn, you may be a genius but sometimes, you're too dumb,' grumbled the Captain. 'Now keep silent, you talking in this voice creeps me out.'

The hologram made a very realistic grimace, but Taty paid no mind. Things were looking… not exactly better, but less gloomy than ten minutes ago. She could work with that.

* * *

The Massive's crew present on the bridge kept silent, their antennas stretched to hear every word. The Tallest were on their usual platform, each of them holding an arm of the human prisoner, their claws drawing blood that leaked on his pale arms. In front of them, two large Irken soldiers were holding Zim while others were pointing lasers at his head, ready to strike in case he attempted anything. But the ex-wannabe-Invader didn't seem to want to try anything. He kept watching his leaders with a dejected face that amused them to no end, and scared the hell out of Dib.

'Zim,' started Red with a cruel smirk. 'You are under arrest for trespassing on the Massive despite our previous orders. You were forbidden to leave Earth, yet you lied to us, caused damage to the Armada's finest ship and attempted to flee with our prisoner.'

'But… my Tallest…' muttered the Invader. 'The human is…' he trailed off, looking at the floor.

'The human is what?' asked Purple, with an antenna lifted in curiosity.

Dib listened too. Zim wouldn't look at them.

'…mine,' was the muttered answer.

Red snorted and grabbed Dib by the hair, getting a satisfying yelp in the process. He pushed him until his face was close to Zim's.

'Are you telling us that you developed some kind of twisted and morally wrong icky _feelings_ for this pathetic thing?' he snickered.

'Eeeew,' added Purple with a shiver.

'I… I…' started Zim, still looking resolutely at the floor.

Dib frowned. Whatever he wanted desperately to hear, this was neither the place, the moment, or the audience. He snorted loudly, attracting everyone's attention, including Zim's.

'Yeah right,' he said with a derisive smirk. 'As if he was intelligent enough to feel anything else more complicated than anger and narcissism.'

'What are you babbling about, hyumun?' growled the Invader, forgetting for a moment they were in presence of his leaders. 'The almighty Zim is smart enough, he just decided to dislike your pathetic amount of flesh!'

'Why won't you admit that you liiiiiiike me?' singsonged Dib.

'LIES!' shrieked the Invader, trying to pull free to strangle the human mocking him. 'I will never like you! You're ugly and annoying and stoo-pid and always manage to get in the way! Your face is stoo-pid, your clothes are too, your glasses make you look dumb, your victory speeches annoy the hell out of me, you fight for a lost cause, you can't see that no hyumun likes you, you never leave me alone, you're a stalker, a foolish idealist, you're the most annoying thing the Earth could create to challenge me! I HATE YOU!'

To his surprise, Dib's smirk was replaced by a conniving smile. The Tallest didn't seem to notice the subtle change of expression, but then they hadn't spent the last six years studying humans in general and Dib in particular.

'I hate you too,' he said with a challenging grin. Then, he added in a whisper only meant for the Invader: 'Now come and get what's yours, Space-boy.'

He was pulled back by the Tallest, who watched with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

'This was entertaining,' commented Purple. 'But I know what would be more amusing…'

'You'll see soon enough,' snickered Red. 'Bring them both to the highest security area and make sure they stay there!'

'…My Tallest?' asked timidly a working drone. 'There was a power shortage on…'

'Not now,' snapped Red. 'We got the event of the century to plan! The broadcasting of Zim getting pulled apart piece by piece for the entertainment of Irkens everywhere! The smeets will love this!'

He met Zim's eye with a malevolent expression, and the ex-Invader couldn't help but feel a wave of pure loathing towards both Tallest. It was new and invigorating to feel about them like that. He saw Dib getting pulled away, watching him with a victorious smile. The human had managed to snap him back of his trance with only words.

Zim growled lowly. He would get back what was his, no matter how high the stakes.

* * *

AN: Go Zim! Get your Kribliss back! He wants you too! XD

So, who had guessed it was the Dib-bot that Gaz gave to Kinn at the end of the last chapter? Cookie points for you!

For the ones who are counting, this is the fourth chapter where Dib is shirtless. Whee!


	9. Zim snaps

AN: Hold on to your antennas, this is a short but complicated chapter. Here's a recap on who's where doing what:

Zim - Infiltrated the Massive, rescued Dib, got caught by the Tallest

Dib - Is passed from hand to hand (poor thing), got freed by Zim and got caught again by the Tallest.

Taty - Infiltrated the Massive, got caught, got freed by Kinn

Kinn - (that's where is gets complicated :P) Still on the Squeaky –on Earth-, controlling the Dib-bot (on the Massive) with an hologram that shows Kinn's image.

Now with that, you should be okay to understand most of it. But _PAY ATTENTION!_

**Chapter 9 – Zim snaps**

* * *

**« With my mighty fists of horror and unstoppable cruelty, I am the tool of destruction, vengeance, and fury! » -Zim (Hobo13)**

* * *

The Massive was more than a big ship. It was a HUGE ship.

Thousands of Irkens worked and lived there, so, on top of the heavy weaponry, the living quarters and the eating areas, you also had training and entertainment facilities installed. One that served both purposes was the arena.

It was a huge fighting area, surrounded by seats, coliseum style. Most of the crew was getting installed and popcorn was distributed to everyone. Cameras were installed so every inch of the fighting area would be covered.

The Tallest were sitting in their loge, slurping sodas and betting on how many minutes it would take before Zim got killed. Some distance away, directly over the arena, was Dib, surrounded by half a dozen guards. He was gagged and chained to his seat because all the yelling and trashing around was getting on everyone's nerves. His eyes were shooting daggers left and right to better hide the nervousness that plagued him. Whatever would happen in this arena was making the Tallest happy, so that meant big trouble for Zim and himself.

A deafening cheer suddenly shook the arena. A door had opened at one end. Zim entered, walking tall and proud, eyes glaring at his leaders. He met Dib's eyes for a second and stood even straighter, his antennas high above him. Dib couldn't suppress a small smile. Gone was the Irken scared of his leaders. He preferred Zim as an obnoxious jerk anyways.

Both Tallest stood up and silence immediately fell upon the crowd. Cameras turned towards them.

'Irkens everywhere!' shouted Purple with a happy smile. 'Rejoice! Today shall be a happy day, because we're totally going to see Zim ripped limb from limb! Isn't it fun?'

'So bring out the snacks and party!' ordered Red. 'Anything remotely interesting to say before you die, Zim?'

'The ALMIGHTY ZIM won't go down without a fight!' yelled back the Invader.

'Nothing interesting, as I expected,' replied Red. 'Let his opponent enter!'

The doors on the other side of the arena opened. A collectible gasp went trough the crowd. Dib's eyes popped open in recognition. That was the ugly alien that had captured him earlier. Compared to Zim, he was huge and looked deadly. He was wearing a thicker black armor, covered in sharp blades, and was holding two mean-looking guns.

'I would like everyone to meet Beckharsho from planet Glagoarth!' said Purple with flourish. 'He's tall, he's mean, he's deadly, he's gonna rip Zim to pieces!'

'Let the game begin!' ordered Red.

The Glagoarth didn't wait for the acclamations to stop, he ran towards Zim, both guns shooting lasers. The Invader jumped out of the way once, twice, got hit on the shoulder and yelled in pain.

'Did we tell you?' announced Purple with a manic grin. 'We deactivated the opening command on Zim's pak, so he's practically defenseless!'

The crowd cheered, but Dib couldn't help but panic. Zim had a mean offensive, but sucked at defending himself. He usually relied only on his heavy weaponry to fight and didn't stop until destroying either his adversary or the planet they stood upon. If he couldn't even reach his spider legs, he wouldn't last long.

Zim was currently running away, swearing in both Irken and English. The Glagoarth was pursuing him, having fun shooting the ground next to his feet to startle the Invader. Every Irken on the stadium was cheering and leaning forward, even the guards surrounding Dib. The Tallest were the ones screaming louder.

Dib suddenly felt a cold metallic object snapping around his neck. He turned around and saw a guard's face over his shoulder. He tried to scream but he was still gagged and couldn't even whimper.

'Silence,' whispered the guard in Taty's voice.

He saw her press a claw to the holographic collar he was now wearing, and heard a faint buzz around him. The air seemed to shiver for a second. He lowered his eyes and saw that his arms and hands were now green, and that he was now wearing Kinn's brightly colored uniform. Next to him, an holographic soldier disappeared and in its place was Dib's exact copy, wearing his beloved shirt and trench coat.

Taty took a small tool from her pak and cut the chain where it connected to the seat. She was about to free him from his handcuffs when a gun was pointed to her head. One of the soldiers had spotted her.

The Captain hit the gun sideways and threw it inside the pit. She got out her spider legs and started fighting the dozen guards with fierceness. The Dib-bot took Dib by the arm and lifted him to his feet, getting him out of the way of a laser shot. More and more guards ran towards them. Taty was leading a mean fight, the Dib-bot was shooting while hiding the real Dib behind his back. The real Dib would have like to help, but there wasn't anything to do while being gagged, handcuffed and disguised as a female Irken scientist.

Suddenly, during the scuffle, the Dib-bot got hit by a spider-leg and fell on the arena ground. A heavy metallic sound could be heard. Everyone stopped and turned towards it. On Earth, in the Squeaky, Kinn was panicking over her controls. What was she supposed to do, now?!?

'Err… Ouch?' said tentatively the Dib-bot, getting back to its feet.

In front of it, the Glagoarth was too busy beating the crap out of Zim to acknowledge the it. Kinn made it turn its head left and right, and spotted trough the camera the gun Taty had thrown to the floor during the fight. The Dib-bot jumped, caught the gun and ran towards the ugly bounty hunter.

'Hey, you big meanie!' yelled the Dib-bot. 'Let him down or I'll – '

The Glagoarth turned, extended a gun and shot a single laser beam trough the robot's chest. It seemed to fly backwards in one graceful arc, but soon fell heavily to the floor, a huge hole trough its chest. A long silence followed.

Then there was the yell.

Zim was trashing around in the Glagoarth's grip, eyes and mouth open in an horrified scream. He started to shout incoherent words in Irken and English, foaming at the mouth with pure rage. He scratched the Glagoarth's eyes with his claws, escaped his grip, stole his gun in one smooth movement and shot a hole in his head. Not happy with that, he jumped on the fallen bounty hunter's body and started stabbing him repeatedly with one of his own blades, yelling hysterically all the while.

After a moment of the gruesome spectacle, Tallest Red seemed to come back to his senses. He signaled to the guards posted near the arena entrance. One of them shot a tranquilizer electrical beam at Zim, who fell on top of his victim, covered in yellow Glagoarth blood.

'Holy Irk,' muttered Purple with admiration and disgust at the same time. 'There's barely enough left of him for a sandwich.'

'Stop the broadcasting,' ordered Red. 'And bring Zim here.'

Soon, a dozen Irken soldiers came forward, holding Zim between them. The Invader had woken up and was busy yelling at the guards. He spotted the Tallest and let out a blood curling shriek of rage.

'YOUUUUUU!' he yelled, trying to get free. 'BOTH OF YOU SONS OF VORTIANS SHALL REGRET THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH THE ALMIGHTY ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!'

More troops joined the Tallest, holding prisoner Taty and Dib-disguised-as-Kinn. The human watched Zim's display with huge eyes and couldn't believe how his own death could affect the Invader like that. He had totally snapped and reduced the bounty hunter into a messy, bloody pulp.

Dib wanted to speak up and reassure Zim that he was still alive, but his gagged mouth and Taty's imperative glare kept him silent. Unlike everyone else, she wasn't watching Zim totally loosing it in front of the Tallest. She was keeping an eye on the nearest exit. Dib had the impression she seemed to be waiting for something. But what could…

A resounding explosion was his answer. The whole ship shook sideways and the lights flickered, then shut down. He felt claws grabbing his arm and pulling him forward. A second later, the pink emergency lights came up. Dib could see Taty running alongside him and pulling a panicked Zim along.

Another explosion, stronger. They fell to the floor in a messy heap. Soldiers were running left and right, getting to their posts.

_Pink alert! _Said the main computer_. The Massive is under exterior attack!_

The Tallest immediately forgot the prisoners and ran out of the arena to get to the main bridge. Zim saw them get away and shrieked revenge. He got to his feet and ran after them on his injured legs. Dib and Taty ran after him, the Captain calling his name, but the Invader was too hysteric to listen.

Another explosion, closer. The lights flickered again. The alarm was starting to get on everyone's nerves.

Dib's long legs let him gain distance on Zim. He wanted to yell his name but was infuriated by the gag. He summoned all his energy and caught up with him. Zim didn't pay attention to the small female scientist jogging next to him, so he wasn't prepared to be pushed against a wall with all the weight of a tall teenage human boy.

He opened his mouth to yell, but Dib pushed him inside a nearby door. It was a small and spartan drone quarters, so there was barely enough space for both of them. Taty entered and closed the door behind them, overcrowding the place. The lights kept flickering.

Zim was hissing and spitting, his claws scratching at Dib's naked skin. The human turned his head towards the Captain with imploring holographic orange eyes. She understood and deactivated the hologram at once, also freeing him from the gag.

'Keep silent,' she hissed.

Dib nodded and turned around. He was met with shocked crimson eyes.

'…you…' muttered the Invader.

'Yeah, still alive, sorry to disappoint,' muttered Dib with a small smile.

He flinched at Zim's sudden movement, ready to feel the pain of angry claws on his face. He was not expecting the smaller Irken to grab his upper arms and suddenly pull him forward with an angry growl.

'You…' he hissed trough his teeth 'I FORBID you from EVER dying again! If you do, I will get your sorry corpse, resurrect you and BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOUUUUU!'

'I told you to keep silent!' snapped Taty, keeping an antenna on the door.

Dib smiled, relieved to see his alien back to his old self. Suddenly, with no more adrenalin to keep him going, all the exhaustion caught up with him and all his wounds started to hurt again. He slumped forward until his forehead met Zim's shoulder. He felt the alien tense beneath him.

'I won't die, I promise,' he muttered against the fabric of the uniform's high collar.

He felt Zim relax a little and the claws digging in his upper arms lessened their grip, the thumbs brushing against the skin like a small comforting caress.

'I'll hold you onto that,' muttered Zim.

* * *

AN: Still with us? Good - Now for another short recap:

Zim - Is really mad, but got his Kribliss back ;)

Dib - Still half-naked, but is now wearing the holographic collar with Kinn's image.

Taty - With the boys at the moment, in deep trouble with the Tallest

Kinn - Currently on the Squeaky, totally panicked because she lost contact with the broken Dib-bot and has no idea what is happening.

As for the others, not telling -

By the way, your reviews make me happy and inspired to write more :D


	10. Trial and Errors

AN: Climax chapter :D

**Chapter 10- Trial and errors**

* * *

"**I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know?" –Zim (Battle of the planets)**

* * *

Another explosion shook the ship. Zim lifted his head from Dib's hair and met Taty's satisfied smile.

'You know what is going on,' he said as a statement, not a question.

'It's Bass,' she admitted with no small amount of pride. 'I'd recognize his attacking sequences anywhere. I think he came here along with the robot.'

'Your crew seems happy to disobey direct orders,' commented the Invader with a sarcastic smile.

'As long as it gets us out of here alive, I won't complain,' grumbled the Captain.

She lifted her antennas at seeing Dib held against Zim.

'I see you got your Kribliss back,' she said.

'Yes,' was the only answer she got, along with a challenging glare.

'That means my crew and I owe you nothing anymore,' she concluded.

'You're free to go,' he snorted. 'But try not to get shot in the head while you escape.'

'I'm not in a hurry,' she smirked. 'I'll protect you until we're all back to safety.'

'The Almighty Zim needs no protection!' he spat.

'You, maybe not, but your human boy needs all the help he can get,' she said, pointing to Dib's slumped body. 'He seems to attract trouble.'

'Do not remind me,' grumbled the Invader.

She watched them for a moment, her antenna held against the door, waiting for something.

'Wake him up,' she whispered. 'We'll have to run.'

'Dib-human,' said the Invader with a gentle shake. 'Wakey-wakey.'

'…Hm?' said the teenager, slowly lifting his head. '..Zim? Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep…'

'I'll let you snore on my couch another twenty hours as soon as we get out of here,' promised the Invader with a smirk. 'Now, stay awake and prepare to escape.'

Dib nodded and stood straight, trying to fight down the drowsiness. Taty pressed a claw to his holographic collar, and Kinn's green skin and orange eyes replaced his face. Zim made a grimace, unused to the disguise.

'Ready?' asked Taty in a whisper. 'I'll open the door.'

Dib nodded and Zim smiled like a maniac.

'Bring it on,' he said trough his teeth.

Taty opened the door and whacked with her spider legs the two soldiers running towards them. They fell to the floor and didn't feel her grabbing both their weapons. She threw one at Zim.

'I wanted something bigger,' he complained.

'You'll have to get it yourself. Follow me,' she ordered.

She started walking fast, followed by Zim and Dib, who was having trouble catching up. The alien wasn't holding his chain, but his arm, and kept pulling forward with insistence. They saw Taty stun more soldiers on her way. They turned another corner, then another, and soon Dib was completely lost. He closed his eyes, fighting the pain and the migraine, concentrating on running and breathing.

Suddenly, Zim's grip on his arm disappeared. Dib felt himself being pushed into the nearest wall. Zim was standing in the middle of the corridor, holding his bleeding side with one hand and shooting from the other.

'NOT MY SQUEEDLY-SPOOCH, YOU DON'T! he yelled to the Irken soldiers shooting at him.

He managed to take out most of them without getting shot once. Taty was fighting alongside him, firing rapidly and with deadly accuracy. She turned around to place her back against Zim's, and shrieked with terror. Zim heard her body falling to the floor and sharply turned around. He gasped.

Both Tallest were behind him, their furious eyes throwing daggers. Red was pointing a stunner gun to Taty's head, and Purple was aiming to what he thought to be the small female scientist huddled on the floor.

'This is getting old,' spat Red. 'We're getting rid of all of you right now, Zim.'

'You'll stop being a nuisance to the Empire,' growled Purple.

Zim screamed bloody murder and jumped at them, foaming at the mouth. He seemed to forget that his pak offensive functions weren't responding. His spider legs refused to come out, but Red's impaled him in mid jump.

Zim coughed pink blood and shot him an enraged look.

'I'll make sure your deactivation is slow and painful,' growled Red.

* * *

Alone in the Squeaky, Kinn was besides herself with worry. She had totally ruined their escape plan by letting the Dib-bot fall to the arena and had no way of contacting her Captain or any other member of the crew. She had no idea where Bass, Blo and Miik had disappeared and could find nothing more productive to do besides pressing random buttons and pulling her antennas in frustration.

'I can't believe this!' she whined. 'There has to be a way of knowing what is happening over there!'

Suddenly, the computer beeped, announcing an incoming broadcast from the Irken universal television network. She accepted it and saw the Massive's bridge displayed on the main screen. The Massive's crew was cheering the Tallest.

'People of Irk!' said Red over the crowd's noise. 'I know your entertainment was cut short earlier, but rejoice! We'll get our execution!'

'And you get a bonus deal, today!' said Purple. 'Instead of one traitor, we're terminating four of them!'

The camera showed four prisoners: Taty, Bass, Zim and Kinn, who was in fact Dib in his hologram. The real scientist pulled her antennas with a pathetic whimper.

'This does not look good!' she whined. 'They're over there and I can't do anything! If the Captain dies, I'm supposed to take her place! I don't want to! I hate responsibilities!'

While Kinn was busy panicking and being generally useless, the prisoners on the Massive were exchanging gloomy glances. With Bass discovered, they had no more tricks up their sleeves.

'Drone!' snapped Red to a diminutive Irken. 'Read the charges!'

'The prisoners are guilty of entering the Massive with false reasons, guilty of high treason against the Irken Empire, guilty of escaping their cells and guards on several occasions, guilty of causing bad damage to the Massive and guilty of attacking the Almighty Tallest,' read the drone.

At this, Zim let a small laugh escape, despite the several bleeding wounds in his chest. Dib threw him a worried orange glance. It would be so stupid to end everything here after all that went between them!

'Control Brain!' called Purple. 'You heard the charges, what is your decision?'

A grave voice seemed to come out of thin air.

'Irkens Taty, Bass, Zim and Kinn are to be terminated by data-extraction from their paks,' concluded the voice.

'Music to my antennas,' smirked Red.

Long snake-like metallic arms came down from the ceiling, aiming for the prisoners on stage. But before they could connect to the paks, an inhuman screech cut trough the crowd.

'LET ME TROUGH, YOU SONS OF MEEKROB, BEFORE I IMPALE ALL OF YOU AND USE YOUR ANTENNAS AS DENTAL FLOSS! I MEAN IT! OUT OF MY WAY!'

Red held up a hand, stopping the execution. They turned towards the back of the parting crowd and saw a small female Irken pushing her way trough it, never stopping her furious yelling. She was followed by a very tall Irken dressed in ceremonial robes.

They both arrived at the bottom of the stage, the female's blue eyes shooting daggers left and right at whoever dared glance her way.

'Miik!' yelled Taty, pulling on her restraints. 'What on Irk are you DOING here?!?'

'Disobeying a direct order, my Captain!' snapped back the pilot.

'What is the meaning of this?' interrupted Red with a menacing stare. 'You dare stop an execution, you diminutive thing?'

'I wouldn't dream of that, my Tallest,' answered back the pilot with a somewhat softer voice. 'But he will,' she said, pointing to the tall Diplomat next to her.

The Tallest's eyes narrowed on seeing Blo, displeased at his menacing height. The Diplomat stared back for a moment and directly addressed the Control Brain.

'I have new evidence to present in this case,' he said in a deep voice.

'Too late!' shouted Red. 'The Control Brain already gave its decision!'

'Tallest Red,' said smoothly the Control Brain, 'no Irken shall be terminated before hearing full evidence against their cases. Please, do tell, Diplomat Blo.'

'Thank you, Control Brain,' said Blo with a respectful lowering of his antennas.

'Ass-kisser,' muttered Purple under his breath.

Blo took out a small chip and deposited it in a waiting metallic arm. It got read by the Control Brain, who hummed gently while processing the new information.

'What did you gave it?' asked Red with a frown.

'A recording of some events that happened recently, my Tallest,' said Blo with a neutral voice. 'Among them, the revelation that the human you held captive was declared as Zim's Kribliss, thus clearing him of all accusations, since he was protected by law 28536-663 concerning casualties over a Kribliss recovering. It also contains the camera footage of the Squeaky crew getting attacked by an Irken ship and loosing the Kribliss to the hands of a Glagoarth warrior. This bound them to Zim's cause, clearing them also of the accusations, according to law 28536-663-B.'

Both Tallest paled, unsure of what was coming next. But Blo was not done.

'There is also evidence that the Glagoarth going by the name of Beckharsho was a notorious bounty hunter and that his latest assignment was registered to be for both Irken Tallest.'

A collective gasp could be heard in the crowd. Forgotten by all, the cameras kept transmitting every word to all Irkens in the universe.

'As Beckharsho captured and killed Zim's Kribliss on your orders, my Tallest, this gives full rights to Zim to exterminate both of you, according to law 28536-663-C.'

A deadly silence followed. All heads turned towards Zim, who had paled at this revelation. He got startled by his handcuffs opening and falling to the floor in a loud metallic "clang" that reverberated on every speaker in the galaxy.

'Diplomat Blo is correct,' said the Control Brain. 'The evidence is accepted. Irken Zim, you can choose whether or not execute your revenge on the ones who terminated your Kribliss. We shall await your decision.'

Zim turned towards the Tallest, who were shaking from head to toe, waiting for his answer. The ex-Invader walked up to them, barely noticing the hand gun that a small drone pressed into his palm. He looked at it, then at the Tallest, a frown creeping on his features. He lifted the gun towards them.

'This would be very satisfactory,' he smirked. 'After all the lies and humiliations you put me trough, it would be the perfect ending for me. And who knows, maybe I'd get the chance to become Tallest myself, what do you say?'

'Zim…' tried to plead Red. 'You wouldn't do that to your Tallest, would you?'

'You're right, I won't,' snickered Zim, still holding the gun.

'Because you like us?' tried Purple with an hopeful smile.

'Not really, my Tallest,' scoffed Zim. 'I'm letting both of you live, so the entire Irken race can see how merciful and great I am.'

He dropped the gun to the ground and walked back towards Dib, who was following the proceedings with huge and fascinated orange eyes.

'I could have killed you and collected the glory, my Tallest,' continued Zim. 'But Zim is far above such ruses and lies to gain power.'

He pressed a claw against the holographic collar and took it off, revealing Dib to the world.

'Smile, Dib-worm, you are on every screen from here till Blorch,' snickered the Invader.

'I would have liked at least a shirt,' muttered back Dib, trying not to blush from the sudden attention.

'Why? You are clearly displaying my ownership like this. Now everyone knows you're mine.'

'Do I get my say about this?' whined Dib.

'Not really,' smirked the Invader.

Behind them, the Tallest were slowly getting their composure back. Purple was trying to subtly kick the fallen gun offstage, in case Zim changed idea.

'Irken Zim,' said the Control Brain, 'your attitude is honorable. You shall recover your full Irken citizenship and the rights that go along with it.'

'Thank you, Control Brain,' smirked Zim, holding Dib's chain in his claws.

'As for Tallest Red and Purple, your case is being studied along with the new evidence brought by Diplomat Blo.'

'What?' panicked Purple. 'What evidence?'

'A list,' said Blo, 'of every Irken taller than a hundred and thirty Ligas and their missions trough the universe. It seems most of them are assigned to dangerous and deadly tasks.'

'Everybody out!' yelled Red 'Cut the transmissions, NOW!'

The Massive's bridge emptied faster than one can say "curly fries". Cameras were shut off, much to the displeasure of Irken audience. Back on Earth, Kinn's frustrated shriek scared all the forest critters.

'It seems, Tallest Red and Purple,' said the Control Brain, 'that you have not been acting as an Irken in your positions should. Your cases will be studied closely. Any more evidence could make you loose your Tallest privileges.'

The Control Brain went into sleep mode. The only remaining people on the stage were now the Tallest, the Squeaky crew, Zim and Dib. The teenager felt himself be scrutinized by Zim's crimson stare.

'Zim, what are you doing?' he asked in a small voice, trying to hide his embarrassment.

'These scars are not mine,' said the Invader, pointing to some scratches and bruises over Dib's chest and arms.

'No shit,' replied the human. 'I've been beaten and shot by every alien that crossed my way since I got in this ship.'

At his surprise, Zim smirked evilly and pulled the chain.

'Come, Dib-human, Zim has an evil plan.'

They both walked to the Tallest, who shot them nasty glares.

'Good day, my Tallest, yes?' greeted Zim with a mean smirk.

'What do you want again, Zim?' grunted Red.

'Haven't you caused enough damage for today?' whined Purple.

'I just wanted for you to properly meet Dib, my Kribliss,' said Zim, showing the teenager with a flourish of his hand.

'Just get to the point, Zim,' ordered Red.

'I just wanted to let you know that most of these scars were created since my Dib was captured and beaten up by your crew,' smirked Zim. 'I'm sure the Control Brain would be glad to know that you caused damage to my Kribliss, my Tallest.'

'You… you can't prove that!' said Purple in a worried voice.

'Yes he can!' realized Dib with a malicious grin. 'The Squeaky scientist would be glad to provide you with shots of me taken before my capture. How about we compare scars?'

Red shot him a furious glare, and went back to Zim.

'What do you want?' he growled.

'Not a lot, my Tallest,' answered Zim with a mean grin. 'First, I want my SIR unit back. Then, I want Earth to be classified as mine and out of any invading projects. I also want broadcasted apologies for mocking Zim during all these years. And I want a shipment of taquitos for GIR.'

Red hissed trough his teeth, but Purple placed a hand on his shoulder.

'You'll get it,' he grumbled. 'Now get out of here, all of you.'

'As you wish, my Tallest,' smirked Zim.

As soon as he was handed the offline GIR, he walked out of the Massive's bridge, pulling an exhausted Dib behind him. The human had trouble staying on his two feet. He was surprised to feel an arm around his waist helping him advance.

The Squeaky crew followed them. Bass was creaking his neck, explaining in full detail the bombs he had placed all over the Massive to create a distraction. Blo listened with attention, antennas held high. Taty and Miik closed the walk, a heavy silence between them.

'How did you get here?' asked the Captain. 'The teleportation room got locked after Bass and the Dib-bot got zapped in, and that was hours ago!'

'I infiltrated Zim's base and stole his Voot Cruiser,' smirked Miik.

'But, how did you get here so fast?'

'Oh, I boosted it up with Kinn's experimental fuel and jumped from wormhole to wormhole.'

Blo turned around and shot her a sickened look.

'Yeah, I know you didn't like it,' snorted the pilot. 'But it worked, didn't it?'

'That… that was really dangerous!' exclaimed Taty.

'Yeah, so? It was fun!' snapped back the pilot.

Taty paused and held her upper arm. Miik turned, a confused look on her face.

'Just… don't do it again,' muttered the Captain. 'I'd hate to loose you.'

She lightly pressed her face on Miik's head, right between her two antennas. The pilot shivered and grunted a small 'Yeah, all right'.

'Come,' said the Captain. 'It is time to go back to the Squeaky. Kinn must be frantic with worry.'

They followed Zim and Dib to the teleportation room and watched as they got beamed back to Earth.

* * *

AN: Still with me? Good Don't worry, we're not done yet, we still have two more chapters and an epilogue to go. The boys still have some things to figure out before we bring this story to an end…

Has any of you noticed that, besides his grand scene with the Irken laws and everything, Diplomat Blo NEVER talks? ;)


	11. Doctor's orders

AN: Happy 2008 :D

**Chapter 11- Doctor's orders**

* * *

"**But he needs you, Mary!" –GIR (Mopiness of Doom)**

* * *

Dib slowly opened his eyes. His world was blurry and pink.

He tried to focus his sight and his thoughts, finding it difficult. Where were his glasses? Where were his clothes? He was floating, completely naked, in a tube full of pink goo. He would recognize the thick liquid anywhere, he was used to it by now. He noticed the oxygen mask on his face and numerous tubes being inserted in his arms, chest, and head. He would have panicked at this point but something in the pink liquid made him drowsy. He felt calm, content.

He heard faint mumbling outside his tube. He could make out blurry shapes and recognized two Irkens right outside the glass. The smaller one had a lab coat on, he deduced it had to be Kinn. The other one was talking and waving his arms a lot in agitation, he recognized Zim.

The scientist seemed to have lost or abandoned an argument because she stomped away, muttering angrily. Dib watched her leave the medical bay with unfocused eyes, not understanding the situation and too far gone to fell any kind of curiosity.

He turned back to Zim and was not really surprised to find him so close. The Invader had walked to the tube and was staring with a strange expression. Dib saw him slowly take his spider legs out and lift himself to be at his eye level.

Zim placed both hands on the glass surface. Dib, without any conscious thought, heavily lifted his to place them on the same spot, palms facing each other. The drowsiness overtook him and he slowly placed his forehead against the glass tube in exhaustion. Zim hesitated for a second, then joined his own head to the glass wall in a poor imitation of an Irken mark of affection. His antennas were pressed flat against the tube, trying to reach past the transparent barrier.

Dib wanted to smile but was rapidly falling back to sleep. His eyes closed without his permission and his hands fell on their own accord. He fell back to unconsciousness, the last image he saw being Zim's mesmerizing crimson eyes peering holes into his very soul.

* * *

The medical bay was mostly silent, if one didn't count Kinn's loud and off-key singing. She was toying around with a pile of scrap metal coming from the Squeaky's damaged left engine and was trying to see if she could salvage anything from it. Her usual methods didn't seem to work, so she tried poking it repeatedly with a spider leg and see what caused sparks. So far, she had caused three small explosions and was glad to be wearing her protective visors. 

A beeping sound interrupted her poking. She left her work, removed her lab coat and visors and ran to the far corner of the room with a smile. The console next to the tube of goo indicated that the human was waking up. She started the reanimation process and emptied the pink goo.

Dib opened his eyes, now fully alert. He saw the goo level getting lower and lower, until his feet touched the ground. He took out his oxygen mask and waited to be released, both hands covering his crotch, an embarrassed flush on his face.

The glass tube was removed and Kinn smiled widely at him and started taking out the tubes inserted in his skin.

'Hi human!' she greeted. 'How are you feeling?'

'Naked,' he grumbled. 'Where are my clothes?'

'I got your pants, but you'll have to dry up first,' she said, handing him a fluffy pink towel wearing the Irken symbol.

He waited for her to turn around and complied. He put back his jeans with a sigh of relief. Being naked on an alien ship, faced by an alien female and surrounded by cameras was not his idea of a good day.

'…Kinn?' he asked. 'How long was I in there?'

'Several hours,' she shrugged. 'Your sun is about to rise again.'

'I don't remember getting back,' he said. 'Why did you put me in there?'

'You collapsed immediately after being zapped,' she explained while checking his vital signs. 'I arrived at the teleportation room to find Zim completely panicked over your immobile body. I had to sedate him before I could run any kind of tests on you, he kept getting in the way!'

'…Zim was there?' he asked, remembering blurry shapes trough his hazy memory.

'Whining like a smeetie,' grumbled Kinn. 'He wouldn't leave your side for an instant, not even to let me inspect his wounds. He kept asking questions and correcting my data, I had to forbid him entrance to the medical bay…'

'Where is he, now?' asked Dib with feigned nonchalance.

'Dunno. Back at his base, maybe. He left as soon as the sedative's effects stopped.'

Dib frowned, trying to fight the feeling of abandonment that crept from his guts. Kinn saw his change of mood and offered a tentative smile.

'The sedative only stops the anger, but doesn't interfere with the subject's real feelings,' she said. 'If he stayed around that long, it has to mean something.'

'…But what?' muttered Dib.

'No idea. This thing between both of you is too complicated to understand, even for a genius Irken scientist like myself,' she smirked.

'Tell me about it,' he snorted, a small smile gracing his lips.

He shivered, still damp from the goo.

'Hey, do you have my other clothes around? The shirt and the trench coat?'

'Err…' she looked away with embarrassment. 'We had to put them on the robot so people wouldn't notice the lack of scars or tattoo… And also because I didn't have enough time to finish the flesh, you could see computer components coming out from its chest. Anyways, your upper clothing probably has a huge hole at the level of your pumpy thing, sorry.'

'Oh. It's alright, I had to buy a new coat anyways, this one was getting too small.'

'…Yes…' she muttered with a faraway look. 'You are rather tall…'

He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling suddenly too exposed.

'Huh… You do remember I'm Zim's Kribliss, right?' he asked with a nervous tone.

That seemed to snap her back to reality.

'What? Of course I do!' she snorted with an innocent wave of her hand. 'This whole business was because of that, wasn't it? Now get your arms out of the way, I have to finish your check up.'

He agreed reluctantly, letting her walk around him, peer at his scars, noting some things in a portable screen, muttering trough her teeth. He was surprised to still have the scratches and biting marks on him. He fought a blush when he was reminded of their possible meaning. Trying to get his thoughts away from the gutter, he turned towards Kinn.

'I thought the goo tube would heal me,' he admitted. 'How come I'm still covered in scars?'

She let out a loud exasperated sigh.

'I would have loved for your skin to heal faster, but there was so much the machine could do with such a crappy basis to work on!' she grunted.

'…What do you mean?'

'Your body is pure dookie!' she shrieked.

'Hey, there's no need to be rude!' he snapped back.

'You haven't seen your vital signs!' she yelled, pointing at a computer screen covered in Irken letters. 'Look at this! You're underfed, haven't slept correctly for days, your body misses sun and nutrients and if you get under any more stress, your unnaturally big head will eventually snap under the pressure!'

'I… What… My head's not big!' was the only answer that came out of Dib's mouth.

'Yes it is, I compared it to several other human heads,' said Kinn in total seriousness. 'But that's not what I'm worried about. I found an abnormal level of an Earthian chemical in your system and had to counter your dependency on it. You should be alright for the moment but if you absorb that thing again it will take over completely. Look, here's its molecular aspect.'

She pointed at a screen displaying a complicated molecular montage. Dib frowned, then realized what it represented.

'…Coffee…' he muttered. 'I was addicted to the Caffeine Patch…'

'It was horrible,' sighed Kinn. 'Your body fought against the nutrients inserted in your veins, craving more of that coffee thing. That's why you spent so long in there, recovering.'

'But what about my other wounds? My stomach still feels a little sensitive from the beating.'

'It will heal with time, like you humans are used to. Just take things slowly for a while. No being abducted by aliens for the next two weeks, is it clear?'

'Does Zim count?' asked Dib with an amused smile.

'Hmpf,' said Kinn, rolling her eyes. 'I've talked to him already. He didn't like my meddling, but if he wants to keep you alive and well he'll have to restraint himself from making you do exhausting things.'

Dib couldn't stop the violent blush that covered his face at the "exhausting things" that invaded his imagination.

'I see you got my point,' smirked Kinn. 'Come, human boy, I'll walk you back to your home.'

She activated her human hologram and walked out of the ship. Dib saw the soldier Bass and the tall Diplomat repairing the left engine from outside. Kinn waved at them.

'Where are your Captain and your pilot?' asked Dib in curiosity.

'I have absolutely no idea,' lied Kinn trough her zipper smile. 'They disappeared hours ago and this has noooo link whatsoever with the fighting yells that come from the Captain's quarters.'

'Oh, I see they're back on… good terms, then.'

They walked trough the woods and the city streets, animatedly exchanging information from both their planets and cultures. The sun was slowly rising, illuminating the scenery with an orange glow. Kinn admitted it reminded her or Irk's red sky and went as far to say that Earth was "not that ugly a planet".

They arrived in front of Dib's house, the scientist busy reciting a list recommendations.

'…At least a good ten hours of rest per day, and I mean REST, no working or playing videogames or any kind of exercise involving Zim in any way, don't look at me like this I know you're thinking it too. I'm also giving you a diet to follow with lots of proteins, vitamins and riboflavin. I sent Zim a copy of it - '

'Oh, look, we're here,' interrupted Dib, trying to get away from his self-appointed Irken doctor.

Kinn froze in her tracks and stared at the wooden door with huge holographic eyes.

'Want to come in?' asked Dib.

'…Not really,' she admitted in a scared whisper. 'Your sibling-unit is scarier than that Glagoarth beast.'

'I agree with that,' smirked Dib. 'Will you contact us before leaving Earth?'

'Of course!' chirped Kinn. 'We still have some repairs to do, but it shouldn't take longer than an Earthian day. I expect both of you to be there to say good bye!'

'We'll be there,' promised Dib with a smile. 'Thanks, Kinn. For… you know, everything.'

'It was a pleasure, human boy,' she winked.

He watched her skip away on the side walk and turned back towards the house, an indulgent smile on his face. He let out a little girl shriek when he saw Gaz standing in the open doorway.

'GAZ!' he exclaimed. 'What are you doing there?'

'Going to school,' she answered with a narrowed eye. 'It's Wednesday morning, moron.'

'Wednesday?' he asked. 'Already? But I got abducted on Sunday night!'

'So that's where you were,' she snorted. 'I wondered what your girlfriend's visit was about, yesterday.'

'Kinn's not my girlfriend,' grumbled Dib. 'She's an alien with a human disguise.'

'Didn't seem to stop you before, you xenophile,' she smirked.

He groaned in defeat and went past her into the house. Her gaze followed him.

'Nice tattoo,' she snorted. 'Irken property, huh?'

'You have no idea,' he grumbled, climbing the stairs.

He heard the front door snap shut and sighed in relief. He wouldn't be able to answer any questions she'd throw his way. He was way too confused himself.

He opened his bedroom door and stopped right in his tracks. He had wanted to escape the thoughts of Zim, but the Invader's face was plastered on every wall of his room. His pictures, notes and sketches were still covering the ground and every flat surface available. There, before his eyes, was the proof of his obsession.

'Yeah, I get it,' he told the empty room. 'I'm screwed.'

He sat on his bed, trying to find what to do with the revelation. Whether he kept his eyes opened or closed, all he could see was green skin, pink eyes, manic smiles… And hysteric yells after seeing the Dib-bot get destroyed, claws digging in his arms to get him to promise to never die again, angry shouting at his Tallest, panicked eyes when Dib got abducted, thoughtful face pressed against a glass tube…

'…what am I supposed to do with this, now?' he asked himself in a whisper.

He suddenly bolted upright, remembering Gaz' words earlier. He hurriedly put on a shirt and ran out of the house, a manic grin lighting up his face.

Gaz had said they were Wednesday morning. If Zim didn't show up to school, that would make three missed class days. It didn't matter that the Invader was busy saving his sorry ass at the other end of the galaxy, the rules were the rules.

Three days meant Dib had full rights to walk up to Zim's house and demand explanations.

* * *

AN: We still have the final chapter + a short epilogue, folks. This Kribliss thing is finally coming to an end. I've been waiting for this for a long time! 

Here's the link to an illustration of the first scene of this chap, with Dib in a tube. It was at first some fanart for Senri's fic "Souvenirs", but I managed to insert the drawing into Kribliss too. http:// swing-21 . deviantart . com/ art/ Dib-in-a-tube- 65804927 (remove the spaces).


	12. Confrontation time

AN: Last chapter! And what you've all been waiting for!! XD

**Chapter 12 – Confrontation Time**

* * *

**« Dib: Anything you'd like to confess?**

**Zim: Of course not. Don't be silly. » (Hamstergeddon)**

* * *

Dib stood on the threshold, fist held in front of him but unable to find the courage to knock on the men's room door. He fidgeted, messed his hair, replaced his clothes, shot a nervous glare to the innocent looking garden gnomes, went back to face the door. And still couldn't bring himself to even ring the doorbell.

Suddenly, the door slammed open on its own and startled him. GIR ran by in his doggie costume, screaming something along the lines of 'PEANUT BUTTER!!!'. Dib watched him run on the sidewalk until he disappeared from view. And went back to the door.

Oh shit, it was open now.

He had no reason to stall anymore. Feeling like he was about to puke the nutrients he was injected in the tube, he entered the now silent house. He could hear the faint hum of the main computer, but nothing more.

'Huh… computer?' he tried, looking at the ceiling.

_What?_ It answered in annoyance.

'…Is Zim here?'

_Sadly._

'…Can I… Can you tell me where he is?'

Since when do you ask, you ninja wannabe? 

'…Please?'

_Okaaaaaay…_it whined.

The sofa transformed itself in a large elevator. Dib stepped inside and let the contraption lower him to the main lab. Stupid mall music played for a while. A little _Ding!_ Chimed when the door opened.

He stepped forward, unsure of what to do after that. He was fairly sure Zim was already aware of his presence, but the alien didn't manifest himself. Dib had to walk a bit, dodging computers and glass encased experimental mutants before he found his Invader.

Zim was slumped on his computer chair, holding a piece of black leather in his hands. He was staring at a laser-made hole in the fabric. Dib recognized his trench coat with a twinge of unease. What was he supposed to say, now?

'…Hey Zim…' he greeted.

Yeah, smooth. Real smooth.

Zim lifted an antenna but did nothing more to acknowledge the human's presence. Taking a deep steadying breath, Dib walked towards the chair and stopped a few feet from it. It was more as a habit that he didn't approach the Invader too closely, years of fighting had ensured he always had an escape plan at the back of his mind.

'I see you got my trench coat back,' he said pathetically.

'It is damaged,' replied the alien, still refusing to meet his eye. 'It is of no use to you anymore, so Zim is keeping it.'

'…Why would you want to keep it?' asked Dib in a small voice.

'Why did you came here today, Dib?' asked Zim, finally looking at him.

The teenager was thrown off guard by the intensity of the crimson eyes. He forced himself to hold their gaze.

'I just want to know,' he muttered.

'Know what?' asked Zim.

'Don't play dumb with me, Zim,' twitched Dib. 'I want to know about this Kribliss thing. When did you put this tattoo on me?'

Zim narrowed his eyes, wondering how much he should divulge. But the human wouldn't go away without knowing the truth, he was annoying like that.

'After that insufferable hysteric Irken female tried to kill what was mine to kill,' he growled.

'What are you talking about? I don't know any Irken females besides the Squeaky ones and… Wait, are you talking about Tak?'

Zim's hateful hiss was the only answer he needed.

'You mean you marked me after that Tak thing? But that was ages ago! And I was just a kid! That's just wrong!'

'What does your age have to do with anything?' asked Zim with a narrowed eye.

'Everything!' snapped Dib. 'I don't know for you Irkens, but with humans, eleven years old is way too young to be in any kind of relationship, even more so a messed one like ours!'

'Don't get entangled in your suppositions, human,' snapped the alien. 'When Zim marked you, there was noting more than pure hate to link us.'

'And now?' demanded Dib.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' grumbled Zim, looking sideways.

Dib let out an exasperated sigh. Zim was insufferable when he wanted to deny something. He would go at any length to ignore the proof in front of him. But that didn't mean Dib wouldn't try. In one swift movement, he took his shirt off and threw it to the floor.

'What are you doing?' asked Zim in a worried tone.

'Look at me,' ordered Dib, spreading his arms to his sides. 'These scars are yours. I know what they mean.'

'They are battle wounds, nothing more,' hissed the Invader.

'I know they mean more!' exclaimed Dib. 'I know it's some kind of deranged kinky form of foreplay on your planet!'

'Stop being delusional, Dib-stink!'

'We've been fighting like this for months, even years!'

'I don't know who fed you this dookie, but…'

'Just admit that you want me!' yelled Dib.

'LIES!' screeched Zim by pure force of habit.

Dib took a bold step forward and Zim reacted by jumping to his feet, matching glare by glare.

'You can't lie to me, Zim,' growled Dib. 'I know you too much.'

'You human know NOTHING of Zim's AMAZING brain!'

'You freaked out when you thought I was dead. You crossed the galaxy to rescue me. You called me yours on several occasions, in front of your people. You attacked your leaders! Just stop being an annoying thick-headed jerk and admit it!'

'And what would it give me?' hissed Zim.

Dib took another step forward, placing him just in front of the alien. Zim frowned but lifted his chin defiantly, showing he wasn't scared of some human invading his personal bubble.

'You think I'm yours, but I'm not,' muttered Dib. 'Not until I surrender myself to you.'

Zim narrowed his eyes and lowered his antennas, thinking over the words.

'Just admit it,' pleaded Dib in a small whisper. 'Please…'

Zim didn't lose time with futile words. He grabbed Dib's face with both hands and tried to press it against his, but the stoo-pid hyumun nose had to get in the way of the almighty ZIM's nuzzling! He groaned in frustration, pressing even harder, when the human found an interesting alternative.

Both antennas jumped to attention when he felt the Dib's mouth press against his. He has seen this on many occasions and always was disgusted by it, but somehow, knowing that this was Dib's surrender made it sweeter. With a needy whimper he'd never admit, he tried to follow the movement, taking the lead as soon as he understood how it worked. He obtained a most satisfactory moan from the human boy.

He felt hands on his waist, pulling him closer. The Dib was getting very enthusiastic about this and Zim had to admit it was pleasurable. His antennas brushed the scythe-lock, sending a shiver down his spine. He grinned goofily, but wasn't prepared to what came next.

A slight burning sensation came from his lips. He stopped and tried to step back, but Dib's hands at the back of his spine held him in place.

'…What is it?' asked Dib with a flushed face.

'Your tongue. It burns.'

'…Oh,' he realized, looking sheepish. 'I'm sorry, I forgot, I got too… I mean, I can always stop if you want…'

'Hmpf,' scoffed Zim, who didn't want to cease the fun activity. 'The ALMIGHTY ZIM fears not a little burn! Now resume the smooching!'

Dib snorted but didn't object. Zim grabbed his neck and pressed his own reptilian tongue against the human lips, trying to see how far they could go without him loosing his taste buds forever. He realized that human saliva had enough water in it to be acid, but no more than an earthian lemon. After a while, he could even enjoy the hot sensation.

Seconds passed and the kiss became needy, hands tried to slip under the Invader's uniform, claws scratched new scars on the naked back, whimpers and moans filled the silence. Zim kept pushing Dib until the boy was half-pressed, half-sitting on the nearest computer console. They didn't separate, too eager to catch up on the lost times. Neither of them heard the beeping sound or saw the _Incoming Transmission_ sign on the screen.

'I can call back later if you want,' said a sarcastic voice.

Dib snapped his head around but was still pressed against the console by Zim, so he couldn't move. On the screen, Kinn's unimpressed face was watching them. Dib realized he had accidentally pressed the "Accept call" button with his butt.

Zim didn't seem too eager to let his prey go. Instead of stepping back, he got closer and held the human possessively.

'It better be important,' he growled.

'The Squeaky's ready to go,' said the scientist. 'And I also wanted to remind you that the human can't do any kind of straining exercise! I told you that several times, Zim!'

'Zim will use his human however he sees fit!' he snapped back, not noticing Dib's sudden blush.

'Just don't exaggerate,' she grumbled.

'Huh… Kinn?' asked Dib, wanting desperately to change the subject. 'When will you guys be going, then?'

'An Earthian hour, top.'

'See you in fifty-five minutes,' said Zim, cutting the connection.

He went back to Dib, a sly zippered-grin on his face.

'Now what will we do until then, Kribliss mine?' he asked.

'…You tell me,' smiled Dib.

* * *

Zim and Dib went back to the woods after nightfall. The human was trying to keep a nonchalant attitude with his hands in his pockets, but he couldn't suppress a flush and a goofy grin from his face. He kept throwing sneaky glances to his alien, who was walking with a conquering step, a smug smile uncovering his zipper teeth. They walked in companionable silence, side by side, arms brushing sometimes, but none of them seeming to mind.

They saw the Squeaky's shiny exterior reflecting the stars and the moon. The left engine was repaired and already powering up. No one was outside, but the door was open. A happy squeal greeted them. Kinn came out running, closely followed by the rest of the crew.

'Hey Kinn,' greeted Dib with a smile. 'I see you guys are ready to… What are you _wearing_?!?'

The scientist stretched her arms out to better show them her new shirt. It was bright yellow and bore the inscription "I (heart) Earth boys".

'You like it?' she asked. 'I made it myself!'

'And you keep wearing it despite uniform regulations,' growled Taty that came behind her.

'But it doesn't matter if it's under my lab coat…' she whined.

A hiss interrupted her. Zim was glaring at her shirt and had wrapped his arms around Dib's waist in a possessive gesture.

'Don't get any silly ideas in your stoo-pid head, Orangey,' he growled.

'Hey, if you're going to be mean, I won't give you your gift!' she pouted.

That changed Zim's attitude. His antennas shot up and a anticipating smile illuminated his face.

'Gift?' he asked, stretching his expecting hands. 'GIMME!'

Kinn took something out of her pak. It was a black long sleeved shirt that had the same words on it in bright pink letters. But instead of a heart, there was an Invader symbol.

'ZIM LOVES IT!' he exclaimed.

'A thank you would be nice,' she noted with a snort.

'Zim will spare your pathetic life, Orangey,' told the Invader, holding the fabric close to him.

'I guess that's all I'll ever get,' she sighed.

The Captain cleared her throat, trying to get everyone on track.

'You should be happy, Zim,' she said. 'We're leaving your planet.'

'Yes, Zim is giddy with excitement,' answered the Invader with a huge smile.

'Where are you guys going, now?' asked Dib.

'We're leaving the Galaxy and will wander around until we find a new system with planets fit for Invasion.'

'You're not going back to Irk?' wondered Zim with a raised antenna. 'Your Diplomat could easily overthrow the Tallest with the amount of blackmail we have on them.'

Blo shrugged, not seemed enthusiastic about the subject.

'That would be a lot of trouble,' filled in Taty. 'I think he prefers exploration to paperwork, isn't it?'

The Diplomat nodded with a smile.

'Maybe Zim will try for Tallest, then!' grinned the Invader.

'May Irk help us all,' muttered Taty.

'How about we leave the current Tallest where they are?' asked Dib. 'Right now, they pretty much have to do everything we ask of them, and it comes with zero responsibility… I think you deserve a vacation, Zim,' he added with a sneaky smile.

Zim caught it and smirked back.

'Yes, Zim is very deserving of resting time,' he answered.

'Spare us the details,' grumbled Miik.

'I wouldn't say no to a recording,' muttered Kinn with a dreamy face.

Zim threw them both a glare and went back to the Captain.

'Zim is very satisfied with the work of your crew. It was messy, dramatic, explosive and unorganized, just the way Zim likes it.'

'Don't try to make it sound like you planned it all along,' snorted Dib. 'All your plans are like that.'

'I'm just glad we didn't end up deactivated,' snorted Taty. 'I wouldn't say it was a pleasure working with you, Zim, but I'm happy to see you both alive and well.'

'Yes, isn't it nice?' grinned the Invader. 'Now get off my planet!' he added without too much malice.

The Captain rolled her eyes and saluted them both before going back inside the ship, an arm around her pilot's wait. Bass and Blo both nodded in their directions and followed. Kinn saw them leave with a lost puppy look.

'I would have liked to stay longer,' she admitted. 'So much samples to collect and things to learn!'

'We could always stay in touch,' proposed Dib. 'I have so much to learn about Irken culture, and Zim is not the best teacher…'

'What do you mean? Zim is an EXCELLENT teacher!' exclaimed the Invader pointing at himself.

'Yeah right, so says the one who could never teach GIR the meaning of "Defensive Mode",' snorted Dib.

Zim grumbled while the other two exchanged communications coordinates. The Squeaky suddenly lit up and a grumbling noise shook the forest.

'Don't leave without meeeee!' shrieked Kinn running back to the closing door. 'This planet has too much morons on iiiiiiit!'

She entered the ship just before the door closed in a resounding _Snap_!

Dib hugged Zim from behind and pressed a small kiss on his head, between the two antennas. Zim snuggled comfortably, grabbing the arms on his waist. They both watched the Squeaky disappear into the night, leaving a huge crop circle on the grass.

* * *

AN: Aw… was about time, heh? But we still have a short epilogue to go, I like my stories with good closure, thankyouverymuch. I should post the end in the next few minutes… 


	13. Short Epilogue of DOOM

AN: And this is the last part of the Kribliss saga… enjoy :D

**Epilogue – Short Epilogue of DOOM**

* * *

**« Prepare yourself, filthy beast of meat and hair. Your magical love adventure begins NOW! » -Zim (Tak, the hideous new girl)**

* * *

It took several weeks before anyone at Skool even noticed the subtle change in Dib and Zim's interactions. They still argued a lot and very loudly, over stupid subjects that held no relevance whatsoever to the rest of "normal" people. They still fought sometimes, but always seemed to disappear soon after and nobody even cared where they went. They walked sometimes side by side, discussing animatedly of boring subjects, like the paranormal and science and taking over the world and why you shouldn't try it again, Zim. They still called each other names, but somehow the meaning of Space-boy and Dib-thing had become softer, more like pet names. They never held hands, but the knowing smirks they sometimes shared could reveal it all to someone who took the time to notice. But nobody cared, and nobody bothered. They were left alone and liked it that way.

Nobody was fool enough to confront Zim about his brand new shirt, a drastic change after so many years of wearing his uniform. No one asked about the ambiguous meaning, because no one wanted to provoke the wrath of the green psycho who managed to break Torque's jaw. No one even asked about the matching tattoos they both wore behind their necks and the meaning behind them, but that would be assuming that people knew that there was a meaning.

The best thing, in Dib's opinion, was that nobody ever bothered him anymore. Because Zim had made clear that no one, and I said NO ONE, touched what was his and HIS ALONE.

Dib could live with that.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

AN: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done! YAY!!!!

Whoa, I can't believe I finally posted it all. It had been written for a while now, I was just correcting and posting the chapters as fast as I could, because your reviews kept me motivated and that it's always nice to have a fic that updates often, heh :)

I would like to thank everyone that read me, that reviewed, that pointed out mistakes, that helped me improve my English, that waited for the next chapter, that got corrupted by this. You guys are awesome, you're my new drug ;)

I'm very happy that you liked the Squeaky crew, Irk knows how hard it is to make believable and likeable Original Characters without falling in the oh-so-easy Mary-Sue trap. I hope they weren't XD

I also hope that the slow pace of the ZADR didn't get on your nerves, I was trying to keep the boys as much In Character as possible, even if it's pretty much impossible with this pairing. But what do you know, I like challenges ;)

I won't be posting my stories as fast, now, because I have to write them beforehand. Go check out my profile to know what I'll be working on, I still have tons of ideas to work on :D Technically, I'll be correcting and posting my one-shot "DAD! I can explain!" pretty soon, because it's short. After that, I'll get started on "How to be Kool". It won't be as epic, but it'll be fun nonetheless ;)

On that, I wish everyone a wonderfully happy new year 2008, may your life bring you everything you want and lots of deeee-li-cious ZADR ;)

Much love,

Swing


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